Each of us from time to time has felt strong spiritual feelings, marking some sort of epiphany or sweet experience in our lives, but often when we are conduits of spiritual fire, we “know it not.”[i] These times are often the very times that we become a direct window from God to flow into another’s life…
Some time ago, during the Sacrament portion of a testimony meeting. I felt my testimony well up inside me with such power as potent words and feelings flowed through my mind. I felt “pushed” to bear my testimony. I had been praying to be a “window for God,” and felt that this was an opportunity to let Him flow through me to others.
As the member of the Bishopric opened up the meeting to testimonies, I sprang out of my seat in order to be the first. Just as I jumped up, so did another woman. She beat me to the pulpit and began to speak. She spoke for over 15 minutes, and I could feel my spiritual momentum wane. When I did finally get up there to speak, the “Wind” (push) and “Fire” I had previously felt, wasn’t there.
After finishing, I sat back down in my seat discouraged that only about 5% of what I wanted to say was said. Imagine my surprise when a teenage girl sought me out after the meeting and exclaimed,
“Sister Pratt, I really loved your testimony! I tried as hard as I could to write down every word!”
I was absolutely shocked that she had been touched by what I said. I then realized that the Spirit had spoken to HER personally in spite of my momentary weakness!
It was a powerful reminder that the Spirit can teach THROUGH us, without us being aware. When we’re in tune, we will communicate the voice of the Spirit as it flows through us, even though we may not feel the process.
That’s From God!
Elder David A. Bednar once asked this poignant question to missionaries,
“What are you hearing that is not being said?”
He was “dazzled” by an 18-year-old’s missionary’s response to that question. The missionary said,
“If I hear it in your voice or the voice of another missionary, that’s a message for everyone. If I feel it in my heart, or have a thought in my mind, that’s from God and that’s just for me.” [ii]
How true! The Spirit can speak through us in his own language, filling us with what we need to hear, or what others need to hear through us…
One day out of the blue, a woman, (I’ll call Joann), suddenly felt an urgency to call a certain young man who was a student of her husbands. She barely knew him. Why should she call him? What would she even say? She had other urgent business that she wanted to do at that moment, but because of the strong spiritual push to call him “now,” (and because she always asked with the Lord to use her), she called the young man on his phone.
The conversation was extremely awkward, and “dead-ended” shortly after it was begun. Joann pleaded for help in this embarrassing dialogue. She asked him about school stuff for a minute or two but ran out of things to say. She still felt she needed to keep talking with him.
After about 15 minutes of uncomfortable chatting, he finally confided in her that he was in a crisis and had been considering suicide at the time she called. After this divulging of soul, Joann realized why she needed to contact him at the precise moment that she had.
She stayed on the line with him, eventually telling him that she had been prompted to call him, and to keep him talking. She told him he was loved and mattered to the Lord. She told him that she would follow up with him for the next few days and be a confidant where he could turn. So, even though initially she felt no “Fire” or “Wind” as she called him, her words were carried by the spirit and helped to change the young man’s mind. Joann became a precious window for God to work through.[iii]
Pools of Peace
Years ago, I went to the temple feeling anxious and out of sorts. During the session, I noticed the EYES of one of the female workers. I was amazed that I could feel pools of peace in them. She was a conduit for peace that spoke to me in a big way. I’m sure she had no idea the impact that she had on me and surely others as well. She said no words, but I felt the Fire and Breath of the Spirit through her coming directly into my soul. It surpassed my understanding.[iv]
What if we prayed to be that conduit for others?
Amazing Grace Through “Blackness”
Mother Teresa was one that DID pray to be a that conduit. It’s possible that she has influenced more for good than any other woman in recent history; profoundly touching millions. What most people DON’T know, is that Mother Teresa had an excruciating trial of interior darkness for more than 50 years while being an unfelt river of light for others…
She felt that she was called by God to help the people that no one else wanted; (the lepers, the street children, the prostitutes, the drug addicts, those dying in the streets etc.) She felt that everyone deserved the love of God, and it was her mission to help them feel it, however, at the very time that she began her work doing what she felt God had expressly asked her to do, she began to feel a pitch-black darkness enveloping her soul; a complete spiritual void.
After 11 years of “blackness,” it began to dawn on her that her interior climate was an expression of the desperate, despondent people she was “called” to help. She marveled that they could feel Christ’s light radiating through her even though she couldn’t feel it.[v] She was an amazing conduit to the Fire and Wind of the Spirit.
Christ Opened the Door
When Christ was in the Garden and on the cross, feeling so alone, dark and forsaken, that was the VERY time that He made it possible for the whole human race to be able to receive light! It came THROUGH him, but He didn’t feel that light at the time- he just felt the pain and darkness. It’s interesting don’t you think? So, as we fully turn to God, (even in OUR darkest hours), He is able to shine through us to others.
Becoming a Window for God: Let It Flow!
Becoming a window is a sacred trust; a window, clear and transparent. If we want the Wind and Fire of God to flow through us, we have to SEEK the Spirit, and ASK for his guidance. As we become a conduit, others may hear things that are not being said, and feel things that only God can give.
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[i] 3 Ne 9:20.
[ii] David A. Bednar, An Evening with a General Authority, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn_GanV0WxI&ab_channel=JesusChannel
[iii] Joann (name changed), Story used with permission.
[iv] Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
[v] Brian Kolodiejchuk, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light. The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta p. 208-210
BoBFebruary 1, 2023
The section "That's from God" makes a whole lot of things make sense. All those times I wonder, "why don't y'all understand this."
KCFebruary 1, 2023
Thank you so very much for helping me to see. So many times we expect the Spirit to "feel" a certain way while it's happening. Often, it's the process, like a bible story, of the eventual outcomes that we can look back on to see God's hand and Spirit in it all. Thank you for the reminders.