Line upon Line

The story that follows is one of the most remarkable experiences that occurred on my mission in the Dominican Republic where my husband and I were serving as Mission Leaders.  It was shared with me by Elders Farnsworth and Perez.

Elder Farnsworth:  Last Sunday we went to pick up an investigator that wanted to come to church. We were driving to her house, but we were on a divided street and had to turn around to go back the other way.  There’s a spot to turn around before her house, but I don’t like that spot because you have to pop up a curb and it’s difficult.  So, I decided to try a different turnaround a little further up the road.

I pulled in and went to turn around but saw a lady sitting down in the middle of the turnaround with her hand out, asking for money.  I thought in my head, “Why on earth do people always have to ask for money?  There are so many people here who just beg for food instead of trying to do something about it.”

I turned to say something to my companion, “Look, another person asking for money.”  But as I turned to talk to him, he got out of the truck and walked up to the lady.  I was surprised.  Our investigator that we were going to pick up, had seen us.  She had walked up to the car and gotten in.  She asked me what Elder Perez was doing.  I told her I had no idea.

After ten minutes of talking to the beggar, he came up to my window.  I rolled it down.  He said, “This is my mom, the mom that gave birth to me, not the one who raised me.  She somehow got here from Azua and doesn’t know how she got here.  She has mental problems.”  (Note: Azua is an area in another mission in the D.R. It is across the island and over a large mountain range!)

I didn’t know what to think.  We had no idea what to do next. But our investigator said, “Let’s take her with us. If we leave her, she’ll go, and we won’t be able to find her again.”

We put her in the truck.  She hadn’t showered in four months.  Her clothes were disgusting.  After dropping our investigator off at church, my companion called Pres. Douglas to see what he should do.  We decided to take her to a hospital to get checked out. We took her to a public hospital, because she didn’t have any insurance, and we didn’t have any money.

There was a nurse there who is a member of the Church. She decided to stay with us to help us. Elder Perez’s mom was talking crazy. She thinks the sun is following her and trying to kill her.  She went on and on and on. When we got to the hospital she said, “I know this hospital.  I tried to come here, but they said I was crazy, and they wouldn’t do anything for me.”

The mental doctors weren’t working on Sunday, and we had to come back on Monday. We didn’t know where to put her.

We told our story to a recently re-activated member of the Church.  She told us that she would take Elder Perez’s mother in, bathe her, give her new clothes, and help her.  His mom could stay at her house until we figured out what we were going to do.  We accepted her offer and took his mom to her house.

Bringing another person into these tiny Dominican Homes quickly becomes an affair affecting the entire family. Everyone has to pitch in to make it work. This is the family of this wonderful, generous member.

The change was amazing!  She showered for 2 ½ hours!  They gave her nice clothes, painted her fingernails, etc.  Today they are taking her to a salon to get her hair fixed (there was gum and other stuff stuck in it).  She looks and smells so much better.  She looks completely like a new person!

We took her to the hospital Monday morning.  They said they weren’t doing consultations until July!  We went to another public hospital.  When we walked through the door, a member of the Church walked up to us and asked what we were doing there. She told us that the mental doctor’s first available appointments were in four months. But she said, “I’ll talk to the doctor and see if I can get you in earlier.

Elder Perez, (From the Dominican Republic):  I never knew my birth mother as a child.  At birth, my father gave me away to another woman, who raised me.   I consider this other woman to be my mother.  

Then shortly before my mission I learned about my birth mother. I tried to find her in Azua. From the mother who raised me, I learned that my birth mother had been baptized a member of the Church when she was a young girl. I was stunned to learn that my mother was a Mormon! But life had been tough for her.  She had sunk into a pretty desperate form of mental illness. There was no one in Azua who could help her.  

Elder Farnsworth:  Elder Perez had been praying for his mother.  He didn’t meet her until last year, before he came on his mission.  He made several trips to Azua to try to help her, but many times when he went, she wasn’t there, because she likes to wander a lot.

No one helps her in Azua, so he’s been very concerned about her.  But since she doesn’t answer letters, he has no way of knowing what’s happened to her.

Elder Perez: When I was fourteen, my stepmother and I took the missionary lessons together.  We were both converted to the church.  I never had any idea that my birth mother had been a member of the Church.  But apparently God had not forgotten my mother.

The woman from the Church who helped my mother by bathing her and providing care for her has now agreed to keep her and care for her until I return from my mission. What a blessing for both me and for my mother!  

Elder Perez with his mother after she was showered and fixed up.

Instead of having to wait until July—today, my mother got to see the psychiatrist for the first time!  As we expected, she was diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

While the diagnosis is discouraging, we are grateful that she can receive medication.  The member she is staying with will help make sure she takes her medicines.  She will be given loving care.  When I return from my mission, I can find another way to care for her.

The mission works frequently with both a psychiatrist and a psychologist.  They have both agreed to work with Elder Perez’s birth mother.  We were able to find a donor who has agreed to pay for her living expenses and her expenses for psychological care.

Every step of this experience has involved the hand of God.  Every step was a tender mercy of God.  It was truly a miracle that after walking clear across the country she ended up in the area that Elder Perez was working in.  It was another miracle that on that fateful night, Elder Farnsworth took a different turnaround, just at the exact moment that Elder Perez’s mother was begging in the street at that spot.

It’s amazing that Elder Perez was able to recognize her.  How incredible is it that they were able to find a member of the Church (recently re-activated—again—amazing timing!) that was willing to help her and care for her?  At both hospitals, they encountered nurses who were members of the Church, who could help them.  It was incredible that we knew both a psychiatrist and a psychologist who were willing to help immediately.  Finally, it was a blessing to find a donor to help pay for her expenses.  A myriad of tender mercies reminding all of us that every soul is precious to God—especially mothers!

In a way, this story is a bit of a parable about moms.  Elder Perez’s mom was certainly not a perfect mom. I appreciated the comment of a sister in my Relief Society when during a lesson, she said, “Didn’t you get the memo—there are no perfect moms!”  As Virginia H. Pierce once wrote, “Having a perfect mom is not part of the plan. There are no perfect moms.”

Mom eats a piece of bread in her new home.

Schizophrenia is a progressive disease.  At one point in her life, Elder Perez’s mom was a very young convert to the Church.  But as her disease progressed, she became less able to make rational choices. He was taken away from her at birth, so he had never had a relationship with her. Yet, the Spirit moved within him to seek ways to help her before he left on his mission.

When he encountered his birth mom on that fateful night on his mission, she was certainly not a perfect mom.  Disheveled, arguably “crazy”, lost and confused—it would have been easy for him to turn away from her. Yet she had clearly been brought by God to that meeting point.

As Elder Perez helped his mom, he felt joy himself.  God had not forgotten his mom, nor the emptiness in Elder Perez’s heart for his mom. Despite all our failings as moms, I think this story teaches that God can make up the difference.

The following story came from my dear friend Kathy Higginson, who is a pediatric nurse.

This is a journal entry from May 26,1995, from when I worked as a nurse at a children’s hospital on the cardiac uniting taking care of children after they had heart surgery. 

I took care of a little boy at work a few weeks ago. He went home from the hospital on his second birthday. This was his 3^rd heart surgery since birth.

When he would get scared, he would ask for one of two things: one was “Mommy’s hand”, and if he really needed to know things were OK, he would ask for “Mommy’s face”. Then she would put her face next to him, facing him in the bed. He would put his little hand on her cheeks, one on each side of her face. He would look into her eyes, and he would be comforted.

I wrote the following poem about this experience:

Mommy’s Face

When I am scared
I need Mommy’s face.
It’s warm and sunny and safe.
Mommy’s face
whispers hope
promises love
sees deeply
and delights in me.
When I miss God
I visit him in Mommy’s face

–Poem by Kathy Higginson

We are taught in D&C 101:38 And seek the face of the Lord always that in patience ye may possess your souls … 

Thank heavens for moms!