Cover image via the Gospel Media Library.
I did it again. I watched every session of general conference over the weekend, felt uplifted by the messages and music, and was inspired to improve. Then on Monday morning I felt totally overwhelmed by the long list of changes I need to make. In the past when this happened, I was tempted to just give up because it felt like too much. But not anymore. I’m learning to focus on a single spiritual quality that I need to develop, or a single weakness I need to overcome.
Inherent in the Savior’s invitation “Come, follow me,” is the expectation of effort. Jesus knew exactly what He was asking. The path of discipleship is demanding; it is rigorous. At times the task of becoming like Jesus Christ feels impossible. But nowhere in His teachings does the Savior demand that we change overnight. He understands that growth occurs line upon line. I used to feel constant guilt that I wasn’t perfect yet. But actively targeting one specific weakness at a time seems to relieve the pressure to be perfect this instant, because I know I’m making progress.
I once heard of a pro basketball player who hired a shooting coach to help him improve his free throws. Though this athlete practiced regularly with his team, he realized that the weakest aspect of his game–poor free throw shooting–made him a liability in a game situation. His coaches could not rely on him to make free throws during the last few minutes of a ball game when the score was close and every point was crucial. By focusing his efforts on his greatest weakness, this player gradually improved enough that the coaches could keep him on the court at the end of tight games. There is great power in setting specific goals rather than just hoping to improve generally.
A recent conversation with my friend Cindy put a name to the effort to become more Christlike. After I congratulated Cindy on finishing a bachelor’s degree through BYU-Idaho’s Pathway program, she mentioned how much she enjoyed the religion classes that were part of her course work. I asked Cindy for permission to share her story and she sent me the following:
“In September of 2020 I took an online religion class through BYU-Idaho. Part of the course involved working on something called a Discipleship Project. Its purpose was to help us come closer to the Savior as we improved upon the attributes needed to become better disciples of Christ. Part of our preparation was to study the talk entitled, “What Lack I Yet?” by Elder Larry R. Lawrence from the October 2015 General Conference. (1) After reading this talk, I realized that my project would need to be inspired through the Spirit in order to be most effective. So, I prayed to know what attribute I should work on.
A few days later while sitting at the breakfast table, my husband commented to me, “It sure would be nice to put a fall wreath on the front door.” I told him there was no point in doing it because we had just sold the house and would be moving soon. In other words, I dismissed his idea without another thought. I then went to my home office and began working on my school assignments. While sitting at my computer a few minutes later, a thought came to me that said, “Did you ask him why he wanted a wreath for the front door? You didn’t listen to him.”
I immediately got up and went back to the kitchen and asked my husband why he wanted a wreath for the front door. He simply said, “Having a wreath would make it feel even more like home.” I then apologized for not listening to him and went to my computer and ordered a wreath. I knew right away what attribute I needed to work on for my discipleship project. I needed to be a better listener!”
There are three main elements for a successful discipleship project:
Awareness
We must first become aware of what the Lord would have us change. As Cindy said, “I realized that my project would need to be inspired through the Spirit in order to be most effective.” (I strongly recommend reading Elder Lawrence’s talk which inspired Cindy.) (1) The Lord’s words to Moroni can be life changing if we apply them: “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27, emphasis added.)
Action plan
Prayerfully developing a plan of action turns a wish into an achievable goal. I discovered that chapter six of Preach My Gospel, entitled How Do I Develop Christlike Attributes? provides a template for discipleship projects. This chapter includes specific examples of how to develop the following characteristics: faith in Jesus Christ, hope, charity/love, virtue, knowledge, patience, humility, diligence, obedience. To make a plan for developing other attributes the book states: “Identify an attribute you wish to study. Follow the pattern under the heading “Developing Christlike Attributes” found near the end of the chapter.” Preach My Gospel is free on the Gospel Library app or at: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/preach-my-gospel-a-guide-to-missionary-service/how-do-i-develop-christlike-attributes
Accountability
It’s no secret that regularly reporting on our progress is a powerful key to achieving a goal. For Cindy’s discipleship project she was required to fill out and send in a brief online form weekly, tracking her progress and showing what she was learning. She also used a notes app on her phone to record thoughts or impressions she had each week as she worked to become a better listener. Here are excerpts from her notes:
“October 3rd I found my mind whispering the word “listen” when my thoughts wandered while hearing someone speak.
October 4th I feel that I have listened more intently to all that is being said during General Conference–kind of like a sponge.
October 25th I discovered that listening is more than hearing, it’s also seeing. I saw how tired my sister-in-law Kathy was this morning and decided I wanted to ease her burdens. So, I did the dishes even though we were heading out the door to go back to California. Kathy was so grateful. It reminds me of Linda K. Burton’s quote, “First observe, then serve.” (2)
October 31st I’m amazed by how much I am listening to others with so much more intent. I find I am able to “see” them better.
December 4th I realized this morning that listening better enables me to live “outward” instead of “inward.” Living inward is selfish and blocks your view of what and who is around you. Living outward allows you to really see others and to better engage with them. Living outward is a happier place to be!
December 14th Listening has allowed me to see others in a different light. Instead of feeling irritation from what someone says, I am taking the time to consider why they might be saying what they are saying.”
Though most of us won’t be doing a discipleship project as part of a university class and reporting to a professor, we can still keep notes on our progress and report to the Lord at least weekly during the Sacrament, seeking His help. Knowing that we will be checking in with Him about our efforts to increase discipleship is a strong motivator to keep working.
Prepare to be surprised
One of the most interesting things I’ve learned from my discipleship projects is to prepare to be surprised. The aspects of my life that I think I most need to work on are not always what the Lord is most concerned about. Last month I started praying to know what the Lord would have me pursue next–which Christlike quality I need to develop, or which weakness to overcome.
Usually, it takes only a few days for me to receive inspiration when I have prayed about this with a sincere desire to change. But this time weeks passed without an answer and I was puzzled why no inspiration seemed to come. Then yesterday as I prayed about it during my temple shift, it dawned on me that during General Conference the previous week, a thought had occurred to me several times and I had pushed it aside, not wanting to deal with it. The thought was this: “Change your reading habits.”
I love to read, and I’m very careful to make sure my reading material is clean and uplifting. But I have to admit that reading for hours at a stretch is not always the best use of my time. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of recreational reading. The problem for me is that I occasionally read at the expense of more pressing activities such as family time, ministering, writing, or homemaking chores.
Frankly, I wasn’t excited to change my reading habits, which is exactly why I need to pray about what the Lord would like me to work on–it’s usually not what I would choose to do. But after honestly pondering about my reading habits and sitting down after church to write a plan of action, I feel like I’m on a better track, heading in the direction the Lord wants me to go.
[Speaking of preparing to be surprised, I’m including a link for a previous article I wrote when I asked the Lord to show me my weakness and was not prepared for what He revealed: “I Will Lay the Gavel Down: Subduing the Pharisee in Me,” by Lynne Perry Christofferson, October 17, 2018, Meridian Magazine. https://latterdaysaintmag.com/i-will-lay-the-gavel-down-subduing-the-pharisee-in-me/ ]
A discussion about becoming a true disciple of Jesus Christ would not be complete without a reminder that we do not develop Christlike qualities or overcome weakness through sheer willpower or desire. We’re not just trying to be nicer people. We are seeking a mighty change within our hearts–and only the Savior has the power to change our very natures. This is why we must turn to Jesus Christ, inviting Him into our efforts to progress. As Christians, our entire life should be a discipleship project.
Elder Paul V. Johnson says it well. “The Savior taught that we should be perfect. This can seem so daunting… We may have a tendency to think we have to perfect ourselves, but that is not possible. Following every suggestion in every self-help book in the world will not bring it about. There is only one way and one name whereby perfection comes. We are “made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood.” Our perfection is only possible through God’s grace.” (3)
Notes:
- “What Lack I Yet?” by Elder Larry R. Lawrence, October 2015 General Conference. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2015/10/what-lack-i-yet?lang=eng
- “First Observe, Then Serve,” by Sister Linda K. Burton, October 2012 General Conference. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2012/10/first-observe-then-serve?lang=eng
- “Be Perfected in Him,” by Elder Paul V. Johnson, October 2022 General Conference. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/10/24johnson?lang=eng
