Rochelle HaleMay 29, 2019

A year or so ago a lovely young-ish couple moved into our ward. One of the first things I did was ask if they had children (because they looked old enough to have several). I knew (from my own experience) that it was not the right question, and I ended up immediately sharing my own difficulties and that I didn't mean to offend or upset them. During my own years of struggle, which finally resulted in one child, I actually enjoyed babysitting or having the neighbor children come over for crafts and cookies. I delighted in sewing baby clothes for friends or giving the best gift I could at baby showers. Church was mostly a haven, except for the dreaded questions, and that many friends were having their families and leaving me and my husband behind. Even today, well beyond and not possible child-bearing, I still sometimes feel the hurt. This may seem odd, but it mostly comes when another sister has miscarried. It isn't that I don't empathize and feel great sorrow for her loss; it's that at least she knew she could get pregnant.