Successful outcomes in counseling require two ingredients: humility and integrity.
In couple’s counseling, often one person is bringing their partner so their partner can be “fixed.” Or parents bring in a child, so the child can change. Some men in prison would refuse counseling and say they were allergic to the color orange (the color of their prison uniforms) and, thus, they would not come back to prison.
Am I humble enough to change? Do I possess the humility to realize there is always room for improvement? Maybe it’s not just my spouse that needs to change. Maybe it’s not just our child. Maybe it’s not just my boss, my co-worker, my companion, or whoever and wherever a conflict may occur.
Do I have the integrity to “walk the walk” and apply suggestions for correction and improvement? The young rich man asked, “What lack I yet?” When Jesus told him, the young man lacked the humility to accept the counsel and certainly did not have the integrity to walk the walk.
During the last supper, when Jesus said that one of the disciples would betray him, they did not say, “Oh, yeah, I think it will be that guy at the end of the table.” The disciples humbly responded, “Is it I?”
Many people come to counseling humbly seeking to do their part to strengthen their relationships. And with the help of the Lord and the guidance of the Spirit, they are successful.
In Ether 12:27 we learn that “ … if men come unto me, I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
How do we feel when the Lord sends a messenger to show us our weakness? Maybe the message will come from a spouse, a missionary companion, a family member, a church leader, a home minister, etc. Can I have the humility to accept counsel? Sometimes a missionary will ask his companion “What can I do to improve?” I encourage them to apply that counsel and see what happens. [Of course, make sure the suggestions are not contrary to mission rules or to the Lord’s commandments.]
The result is stronger relationships, happier relationships, greater individual confidence, lower recidivism rates, an increase in personal peace, and “waxing strong in the presence of the Lord.” (D&C 121:45).
Micah 6:8 summarizes it well: “He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”
May we be humble and walk the path that He has shown.
