Get him some clothes indeed. I hardly found a word with your original article I disagreed with, and I was very dismayed to see it had been removed. I'm glad it's being addressed, though I wish it didn't have to be defended so, well, defensively.
I myself have been bullied and abused and threatened for my own thoughts and writings on this subject, and the double standard never ceases to amaze me. I hope people will never stop writing articles that dare to share a now extremely unpopular (but nevertheless true) worldview.
The study people are talking about is the study done by a woman at U of U - Lisa Diamond. It is actually two studies that were done about a decade apart. One was on women, the first one. The second was done on men. They were discussed on Radio West with Doug Fabrizio and I would think the links can be found online to the audio and/or further information about the studies.
Someone else asked about how it relates to the recent study about conversion therapy, and this would be fairly simple. The author is talking here about people on the 'Bi' spectrum and not about 'gay' men. This is an intricate subject because some people are generally 'gay' according to the study and may have rare or small attractions to the opposite gender. Others are generally 'straight' with minor or small attractions and then there are others in between.
Also there is some fluidity where much like not all 'straight' people are attracted to all people of the opposite gender. The same is the case for 'bi' people. They may have a connection with a rare person who they feel some connection to.
A friend is a Doctor and has studied gender attractions. He talks about how some men are attracted to 'masculine energy' and so they may be attracted to masculine women as well as masculine men. The reverse is also sometimes the case in terms of being attracted to feminine expressions in males and/or females. This still though is simplistic and it can be more complex.
Thank you for being brave enough to write both articles and not bowing down to the double standard type of pressure that society tries to place on those who support traditional values. Sometimes it seems as if we are allowed only to speak out about any subject unless it concerns any Christian or tradional family beleif. We ALL need to start speaking up about these sensitive issues. There will come a time when all of our families will be affected by these things. I have several beloved family members who struggle with same gender attraction, and it is a very difficult. painful road to travel. Life is not easy for any of us and we can only stand for truth and love each other.And that is very possible to do.
I appreciate your writing and candidly talking about a sensitive subject. I wish those who chose to take your writing from experience offensively could offer as much understanding as they are asking from everyone else. It will take time...and articles that continue to assist our understanding will help! Keep up the good work!
Could you please share with us the studies you have that support your view and contradict the recent publication the US Dept of Health & Human Services entitled "Ending Conversion Therapy: Supporting and Affirming LGBTQ Youth" It says, “Conversion therapy—efforts to change an individual’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression — is a practice that is not supported by credible evidence, and has been disavowed by behavioral health experts and associations.” Since you are stating that this can be changed, what studies are you aware of that the government is ignoring in this important issue? I would think that any studies that support your claims would be vitally important to all parents.
I believe the issue of same sex attraction will be that which divides the wheat from the tares in the Last Days. We already see this divisiveness in the Church today. The Lord declared, "And upon my house shall it [the cleansing of the earth] begin, and from my house shall it go forth, saith the Lord." (D&C 112:25) The only safe position is firmly on the Lord's side of the line with the current living prophets and apostles. There can be no fence sitting on this or any other of the doctrines of the Church. And, as JeaNette courageously demonstrated, we must stand up for that which is right in the eyes of God.
I know of someone who chose to be lesbian because she couldn't seem to find a man to have a relationship with. She obviously wasn't 'born that way'. Thanks for speaking up!
Thank you for writing about a difficult topic. I am sorry to hear that you were subjected to name-calling. That kind of tactic makes it hard to talk honestly about emotional subjects, even if you were just trying to help. This article seemed very reasonable to me, and again, thank you for taking it on.
This response has caused me to have more questions than answers. For instance, how does a child, or an adult for that matter, know if they are in the 2-3% you speak of, or in the 7-8%? How would a parent know which one their child falls into? When you're speaking only of only that audience, but it takes a professional
As a mostly-lesbian, I read your original article and was not offended, and felt the same with this article. I would like to know, however, where you got the statistic for the 7-8% that could go either way, as I actually think the numbers may be higher, but I do understand (and did understand from your original article) that you were writing for those who are more fluid in their sexuality.
I in fact do believe that most people are bisexual (as Freud, Jung, and Kinsey said), and fall along the sexuality spectrum, and that very few are exclusively heterosexually attracted or exclusively homosexually attracted. I myself always thought I was exclusively homosexual until lo and behold in my 30's I fell in love with a man! That doesn't mean it will happen to everyone who identifies as gay or lesbian, but no one should pretend that it doesn't happen.
No one seems to be surprised when a straight person suddenly falls in love with someone of their own gender, and yet when the reverse happens, it is hard to believe. I still am attracted to women and always will be, but I am not going to deny the reality of fluid sexuality, nor should anyone else. Your article actually addresses fluid sexuality, and that should be applauded.
Thank you for having the courage to speak out on this delicate subject. I have felt similar feelings - that it isn't right to encourage someone toward behaviors and a lifestyle that would keep them from the presence of our Heavenly Father. I know your message is motivated by love and I'm so grateful for the way you articulated this message. It helps bolster me in my approach to teaching and loving my brothers and sisters in this earthly experience. Our divine purpose on this earth is to learn truth by the spirit and recognize God's love for us and then reach out to others to help them know that same love that God has for them and help them know God's plan and commandments so they can return to his presence. With all the confusing teachings in the world, as Latter Day Saints, our charge is to study the gospel and be able to teach it clearly with the help of the Holy Ghost and with the help of people like you Jeanette, who can give a clear perspective in words on delicate subjects. Thank you!
Dear JeaNette, I commend you for your courage and willingness to contribute to the discussion around homosexuality.
I wish to let you know of one simple truth I experience every day of my life. I am sexually attracted only to other men, and not in any way to women. I do not choose now, and nor have I ever chosen to be attracted to other men.
For me, the how or the why of it is a moot point. The reality--my reality--is that I am.
Thank you for letting me share that bit of truth with you. I wish you all the best in being a powerful creator of goodness and light.
My wife & I read your original article and in no way could see how anyone would be offended by it. To us it was beautifully written and a big thank you for your courage and your reply to those who unrighteously took offence.
Thank you for your courageous example. As a single sister I can only hope to emulate your example as it is the only way have to stand up for marriage.
JeaNette, I sure appreciate and applaud you for being a consistent strong advocate for God's immutable truths on sexuality, marriage and families. I'm sorry you had to be bullied on this difficult topic, but it kinda comes with the territory it seems. I know you can handle it! I do believe that it is so important to speak up for God's truths even if we happen to do it imperfectly, which we all usually do! :) Speaking up for these things does not make someone unkind. In fact it takes great love and courage to be a counter voice in our society today, so that those who are still malleable can know of God's views as compared to what is predominately presented as "the only way to go" in current society. So, thank you! It's unacceptable for the voices of those who encourage God's path to happiness to be silenced especially since there is only one Plan of Happiness that leads to the greatest of peace and eternal joys regardless of the attending mortal difficulties. Voices like yours and the others shared here on Meridian Magazine continually need to be heard loud and clear. Keep up the good work! :)
I also would like to know where you got the 2-3% and 7-8%. Was that just from your own experience?
I don't mind your position, but I can't say I agree with you. I'm a gay Mormon man, and I chose to marry a woman and stay in the Church. I'm still very much attracted to men, and that's obviously okay. It's what I choose to do with that that matters.
I have met hundreds of LDS LGBTQ individuals throughout my volunteer experience, and believe me, all of us pass through a phase where we wish we could be straight, cis-gendered people. I think it's potentially harmful to tell these people that they chose this, when they wish so hard that they could have had such a choice.
Who knows, maybe I've only ever met the 2-3% you speak of, but we both know that's unlikely. I just don't think that "experimenters" can forcibly change their sexual orientation or gender identity, however much they try. I believe the key isn't choosing your orientation or identity, but choosing what to do with it.
Thanks for speaking up on this issue. Way to many people,like you say think you are either born gay or your not. Some do have a choice while I have worked with many who did not. We are all given trials in this life & some are harder than others. It is part of our test to over come those trials the best we can. Life is not easy but all of God's children need to be tolerant of others. Speaking vial against one who has a different way of thinking is not being kind in any way. I appreciate your speaking up on this subject. It is an uncomfortable situation I agree. We need to be tolerant of everyone.
In the old days, I had heard the statistics cited as 1% that were unable to be heterosexually attracted and 10% that could be happy in a homosexual relationship, if that was what presented itself (and if there were no reason to object).
Whether the number who are able to be attracted either way is 7% or 9% or something else, count me as one of these. And as one who for who attraction was a choice, I chose to love those of the opposite gender.
What you wrote seems patently obvious to me, and this is what I have taught my children and any within my sphere of influence with whom such a conversation was appropriate.
I want to second Kendall's request. Since your follow up article focuses on the 7-8%, reading that study is essential to understanding who they are. I look forward to reading it.
I was not fond of your original article, but I appreciate the follow up explanation and I can understand where you are coming from. I appreciate that you spoke your truth and I am sorry for the treatment the bullies have given you.
Thank you for both the original article and this very eloquent follow up. Thank you as well for having the courage and fortitude to try to communicate the very important messages that needed to be conveyed. I am sorry you had to experience what you did. Your courage and willingness to love is inspiring.
You have been courageous and you have written with clarity and grace. If readers thought and read with the same clarity and grace, it is impossible to imagine any vituperation against you. Alas, it was not to be. However, among many others (no doubt), I admire these two articles immensely and wholeheartedly thank you for sharing them.
One of the things that the in Q LGTBQ can stand for is questioning. That is people wondering about their sexuality. It is a perfectly normal thing. it's NOT a new "trend" I myself have found that I have had feelings of attraction to some women. I have not gone out and had flings with any of them. I am happy in my marriage of 29 years with my husband. I do wonder where you got your degree in counselling. Since your judgemental attitude is so loud that it seems to drown out anything else. Being non-judgemental is one of the key aspects to a successful client relationship. I learned that in my first week of school as an SSW.
Where is your original article to which you refer? I respect Meridian Magazine and have grown through it's articles for ten+ years and wonder why the publisher would pull any article. Surely not because of mere controversy. Have the Proctors commented on your original article? What of Wallace Goddard or Darla Isaacson or Erin McBride or Julie de Azevedo Hanks? Voices I am interested to hear on this topic.
Could you please cite your source for the quote you used: “only about 2 or 3% of people are truly exclusively homosexually attracted, another 7 or 8% could go either way depending on the cultural narrative or lived opportunities open to them.”
I appreciated your articles. I have a lesbian niece married to her partner. They adopted a little boy a few years ago. Although I do not approve of gay marriage and just told them that I was happy for them if they were happy and I support traditional marriage, they got angry and they and other family members said I was cruel and mean among other things. It's hard to stand up for what you believe sometimes when other people aren't tolerant of that but expect you to be tolerant of them.
Thanks for standing up and speaking out. Thanks for being willing to accept criticism. Well done.
Thank you, JeaNette, for your first article and for this one. I am really sorry you get bullied for saying the truth; however, that in itself is a proof you are right. I agree with you entirely.
Thank you. I agree with you and I'm sorry you had to take the abuse because you were brave to speak up. May you know there are those of us who believe like you do! A friend of mine serves on a City Council and reminds me often that we rarely hear from those who agree with our decisions or who are happy with us. It's the ones who "have a bone to pick" or a rebuttal or complaint that always speak the loudest. And those are often the ones we unfortunately remember and hang to. Why is that?? Well, please remember this: you are right! I can tell you are a charitable, loving, accepting person who wants to help minimize pain and suffering in others! You have received an education on this topic through your clinical experiences and I appreciate you sharing that wisdom with us, despite the outcry! As a YW president in my ward, and mother to teenaged daughters, I speak frankly to them about morality. I tell them that I believe sexuality is only a very small part of who we are. (Now, I recognize that I am not a man, and do not think like a man, but I do feel my libido has been much stronger than my husband's for our entire marriage, so I can relate to loving and thinking about physical relations.) Yes, physical intimacy is important in marriage, but in the great plan of life, it really takes up a very small portion. Especially if chronic illness and debilitating disease come into play. Then... marriage becomes more about emotional intimacy anyway. Maybe I'm naive... or maybe I've come to the place in life where it's not at all about sexuality, but about following our Heavenly Father's plan laid out by prophets and apostles.
PS-- I wholeheartedly agree with you on the romance in high school thing! Ughh! I've never seen anything good come from it! It ruins friendships, divides young women groups, leads to morality issues, distracts from schoolwork and church responsibilities, and takes away from family time. I would love tips on how to preach that without shaming!
Excellent! I did not see the first article, but I thank you for your strength. I'm sorry you were bullied. I appreciate you for choosing to be the person to stand up.
Thanks for your courage in writing the truth. A refreshing departure from today's political (UN)correctness.
What you say is painfully obvious, but we live in a time when the obvious is routinely denied and those who support the truth are shouted down and spat upon. Don't give up your good work.
Thank you for your courage and professionalism. If you have helped parents to save their "7-8%" child from the misconception that "they were born that way" or from simply falling for the popularity of the choice (youthful often equals confused and impressionable), you have saved both parents and children from a turbulent life.
Excellent article. I wish I could have read the first one before it was taken down. Keep up the good work. And may the Lord bless and protect you.
What are the chances that all of Sodom actually were born with a tendency to same-sex attraction?
Articulately stated. Too bad so many people had to have it explained but you did a great job of doing so. Good information from somebody in touch with the youth..
Thank you for your courage.
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