In the midst of painful grieving, none of us want to hear trite phrases, no matter how well meant they are. We need to be aware that we cannot "fix," or try to change what someone is feeling at the death of a loved one. We can keep our loving comments brief and to the point. No one wants a lecture at this time. Sometimes a hug and just being present, sitting with the person, will help them to express their feelings without us asking a lot of questions. When we lost our daughter five hours after birth, a member of the church responded by saying enthusiastically, "Isn't that just WONDERFUL! You will have her in the next life, and be able to raise her." His tone of voice was ridiculously congratulatory, as if we should have a big party. It was very insensitive and offensive.
Carol NorthcottDecember 20, 2023
One of my favorite quotes about grief describes the experience the way I feel it: “GRIEF IS A POWERFUL RIVER in flood. It cannot be argued or reasoned or wrestled down to an insignificant trickle. You must let it take you where it is going. When it pulls you under, all you can do is keep your eyes open for rocks and fallen trees, try not to panic, and stay face up so you will know where the sky is. You will need that information later. Eventually, its waters calm and you will be on a shore far from where you began, raw and sore, but clean and as close to whole as you will ever be again.”
From: The Enchanted Life of Adam Hope: A Novel by Rhonda Riley
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MaryannDecember 20, 2023
In the midst of painful grieving, none of us want to hear trite phrases, no matter how well meant they are. We need to be aware that we cannot "fix," or try to change what someone is feeling at the death of a loved one. We can keep our loving comments brief and to the point. No one wants a lecture at this time. Sometimes a hug and just being present, sitting with the person, will help them to express their feelings without us asking a lot of questions. When we lost our daughter five hours after birth, a member of the church responded by saying enthusiastically, "Isn't that just WONDERFUL! You will have her in the next life, and be able to raise her." His tone of voice was ridiculously congratulatory, as if we should have a big party. It was very insensitive and offensive.
Carol NorthcottDecember 20, 2023
One of my favorite quotes about grief describes the experience the way I feel it: “GRIEF IS A POWERFUL RIVER in flood. It cannot be argued or reasoned or wrestled down to an insignificant trickle. You must let it take you where it is going. When it pulls you under, all you can do is keep your eyes open for rocks and fallen trees, try not to panic, and stay face up so you will know where the sky is. You will need that information later. Eventually, its waters calm and you will be on a shore far from where you began, raw and sore, but clean and as close to whole as you will ever be again.” From: The Enchanted Life of Adam Hope: A Novel by Rhonda Riley
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