Line upon Line

So busy that ward friendships have stalled? These quick-start strategies can spark emotional connections until full-powered charity roars to life like diesel fuel. [Useful for both men and women!]

1. Skip the dinner invitations. Ask friends to join you for ice cream instead. No kitchen mess. No cooking performance pressure. Ice cream can sit in the freezer for weeks and be ready on a moment’s notice. It’s easy on the budget, and you needn’t take longer than an hour. Similar instant treats include root beer floats, banana splits, watermelon, or green smoothies.

2. Share articles instead of books. Book clubs are tough for busy people with limited reading time and many competing priorities. Instead, have everyone share a 2-3 page article they found interesting during the month. You might be astonished at how synergistic the discussions become…and how many new friends might be willing to participate. An email discussion group might also work for some with busy work schedules.

3. Fast forward to the last hour. Ask a friend (or several) to imagine that you’ve just had a slumber party or campout together, but to fast-forward to the morning afterward. Think family reunion style—where everyone sees each other’s bed hair. You say, “Party starts at 7 am, my house. I’m not going to clean or shower, and you shouldn’t either. Just tumble out of bed and come over in pajamas with whatever box of cold cereal you can grab on the way. We’ll only be an hour for breakfast, but it’ll be real.”

4. Start the hallway question of the day. Quit smiling apologetically in the Church hallway when you necessarily rush past someone you’d like to know better. Instead, agree together to build your friendship line upon line. Each time you cross paths, exchange your answers to a single simple question. You might ask, “What’s on your bucket list?” “What magazines do you enjoy?” “What’s your comfort food?” Especially if your kids participate in weekday activities, you’ll be old friends in just a few months. It’s like jogging just 1 mile a day together. By day 26, you’ve run a marathon in tandem.

5. Ask them to cook for you. The invitation goes like this: “Hey, I loved your potluck dish. If I buy all the food and do all the clean-up at my house, will you come over and show me how you made it?”

8. In class on Sunday, write names for each seat. Make a habit of always sitting by someone new instead of in the same old pew or row repetitively. Then, if you’re new, have an old-timer help you map the names of class members, so you can practice names while people comment. If you’re the old-timer, map the names for someone new. The “seating chart” can continue as a helpful reference at home if you also snap a picture of the group.

9. Embrace short notice invitations. Remember the dating rule of thumb. When a guy’s serious about a date, he doesn’t say, “I’ll call you sometime.” He says, “How about tonight?” or “How about tomorrow?” If your friends are not available, at least they know you were serious about the invitation, not just polite, and you can set a tentative date as a placeholder on the calendar. You might change it, but at least it’s in motion.

In what other ways have you jump-started deepened friendships within your Church family? Please share with our readers in the comments below.