Kansas City Chief kicker Harrison Butker’s commencement talk, given at a private Catholic university that had only 485 graduates, led to an outsize meltdown on social media recently and placed him squarely in the center of a cultural firestorm. Among the many epithets hurled at him were “misogynist”, “religious zealot”, “hurtful”, “ill-informed”, “hateful” and “homophobic.” An online petition grabbed 200,00 signatures calling for the kicker to be fired for his “discriminatory remarks.”

Yet, the graduates that day gave him a standing ovation.

At an explicitly Catholic commencement, he gave, what to him, was an explicitly Catholic talk.

Here’s a sample of what he said that has drawn such ire:

“I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you,” he said.

“How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.

“I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I’m on the stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I’m beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the important titles of all: homemaker.”

(Applause lasting 18 seconds)

“She is a primary educator to our children. She is the one who ensures I never let football or my business become a distraction from that of a husband and father. She is the person that knows me best at my core, and it is through our marriage that, Lord willing, we will both attain salvation.

“I say all of this to you because I have seen it firsthand how much happier someone can be when they disregard the outside noise and move closer and closer to God’s will in their life. Isabelle’s dream of having a career might not have come true, but if you asked her today if she has any regrets on her decision, she would laugh out loud, without hesitation, and say, ‘Heck, No.’

“I am hopeful that these words will be seen as those from a man, not much older than you, who feels it is imperative that this class, this generation, and this time in our society must stop pretending that the things we see around us are normal.”

Butker’s words set social media on fire. He clearly wanted women to be no more than
“broodmares”, shut out from careers, and dominated by the men in their lives. Those who hated his speech saw more there than he said.

Ironically, after his talk, Butker sales skyrocketed, make his jersey the most popular in the entire league and it sold out in women’s sizes.

Reading his entire speech, something becomes clear. He is speaking from his perspective as a Catholic and his speaking about women is only part of a greater anxiety. It is his grave concern that chaos is undoing us and our world because Catholics and others won’t stand up.

He said, “While COVID might have played a large role throughout your formative years, it is not unique. Bad policies and poor leadership have negatively impacted major life issues. Things like abortion, IVF, surrogacy, euthanasia, as well as a growing support for degenerate cultural values in media, all stem from the pervasiveness of disorder.

“From the man behind the COVID lockdowns to the people pushing dangerous gender ideologies onto the youth of America, they all have a glaring thing in common. They are Catholic. This is an important reminder that being Catholic alone doesn’t cut it.”

He said, “These are the sorts of things we are told in polite society to not bring up. You know, the difficult and unpleasant things. But if we are going to be men and women for this time in history, we need to stop pretending that the “Church of Nice” is a winning proposition. We must always speak and act in charity, but never mistake charity for cowardice.”

Those are strong words. We may or may not agree with him. We are certain that we don’t have his complete context because he is talking to another audience. Whether you like what Butker said or not, the vitriol that followed demonstrates again that freedom of speech is available only for those with the approved message. If you do not yield, you will be yelled at and intimidated. Your job, reputation and well-being may be at risk. This may be true in the public square, but also the case at a religious event with a religious speaker talking to his own identity group.

The sad lesson of our time is that anger is power, outrage scores political points, and it takes a certain raw courage to deviate from the party line. This distasteful authoritarianism has spread like the plague and is ironically dubbed as righteous. It takes magnificent courage to speak your mind against it without trembling.

One who did not join the crowd of naysayers was the eminently successful Kansas City Chiefs Head Coach, Andy Reid, who is a Latter-day Saint. His team has taken part in four of the last five Super Bowls and won three, including the last two.

At a press conference last week, Reid said, “We’re a microcosm of life here. Everybody is from different areas, different religions, different races. And so we all get along, we all respect each other’s opinions. And not necessarily do we go by those, but we respect everybody to have a voice. It’s the great thing about America, man. And we’re just … a microcosm of that. My wish is that everybody could follow that.

“The guys are good with that,” he added. “They understand. They understand how things work. Everybody’s got their own opinion; that’s what’s so great about this country. You can share those things, and you work through it. And that’s what guys do.”

When pressed by one reporter who said Butker was speaking “ill” of women, Reid quipped, “He has his opinions and we all respect that. I let you guys [the media] in this room and you have a lot of opinions that I don’t like.”

It seemed like a marvelously grounded and healthy response, and in keeping with what we’ve seen of Reid’s calm at other times. In a wild moment in the Super Bowl, Travis Kelce shoved him, knocking him off balance, shouted at him and threw his helmet, while Reid was unflappable.

Later, Reid said of the incident, “I didn’t see him coming, or I would have forearm ripped him,” Reid laughed, “But he got me.”

Reid was joking, and he repeatedly said after the event that Kelce’s angry blow-up did no long-term damage to their relationship, even as a penitent Kelce took full responsibility for the incident.

As might be expected, there was some negative response to Reid’s words about Butker’s now famous commencement speech. He was called “clueless” and “awkward”.

One commentator in USA Today, speaking of Reid, suggested, “there is a difference between saying Butker has the right to his opinions and trying to pass those opinions off as some minor disagreement. Butker wasn’t railing about whether there should be a tax on plastic bags or why it’s taking so long to get high-speed internet to rural America. He was taking aim at a woman’s right to self-determination and propagating the real diabolical lie, that women exist only for the service and convenience of men.”

She continued, “If making abundantly clear how little value we have isn’t speaking ill to women, I’d hate to see what it would take to tip Reid over the edge. Advocating for a Taliban-style government? Taking away our right to vote or make our own financial decisions?”

The Book of Mormon speaks often and passionately about political situations where people are stirred up to anger. They are stirred, in fact, by so much fury it tends to hatred and finally violence. Hyperbole, bias, exaggeration, deliberately misreading another, being so locked into your opinion that you count anything that contradicts you as dangerous—these are the tools people use to stir others to anger. The results are so often devastating.

We can and must certainly stand up for our values with courage, but never with hatred.

It is not only fundamental to a sports club that has to play as one, or to a nation that needs a foundation of shared values, but to the existence of society itself, that we can say with Andy Reid, “Everybody is from different areas, different religions, different races. And so we all get along, we all respect each other’s opinions.”

That is the mantra of a peacemaker.