Line upon Line

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I was highly entertained in my early teens whenever my friend shared her brother’s latest escapades as a sleepwalker. Apparently, it was not uncommon for Barry to wander the house at night in a semi-conscious state, with no recollection of his adventures once he woke up.

The story I recall most vividly was the night Barry climbed out of bed and actually left his home. He made his way through the dark, halfway down the street, and then pounded fiercely on a neighbor’s front door–frightening the homeowners. Imagine their surprise when they hesitantly peeked out the door and found a pajama clad kid sobbing and confused. Fortunately, this couple recognized Barry and returned him to his parents.

It’s difficult to imagine that a person could be so oblivious to their surroundings that they wouldn’t realize they were out of bed and wandering in the night. But that’s pretty much what I did for two decades under different circumstances: I was sleepwalking through the temple. This is a confession of sorts, even a cautionary tale. I share what I’m not proud of, hoping that my experience will serve as a wakeup call to others, so no one will wait as long as I did to wake up and experience what God has to offer in His holy house.

My first recollection of seeing a temple was at age seven, when my family moved from Indiana (when there was no temple east of the Mississippi River) to Logan, Utah. I sensed my parents’ happiness at having a temple nearby. I had very positive feelings about that beautiful building. Years later, my mother wrote the song “I Love to See the Temple,” ⁽¹⁾ so you know I was raised to view temples fondly.

Having just passed the 40th anniversary of receiving my endowment, I’ve spent time pondering my temple experience and how it is completely different now than in my early years of attending. I can clearly divide the two halves of my temple life into categories: “sleepwalking” and “seeking.”

Sleepwalking 

The first twenty years of my temple attendance I would characterize as pleasant. The House of the Lord was always clean and peaceful, and after I married, I loved sitting with my husband in the Celestial Room during our monthly temple date. Though I wondered about the significance of the tokens and signs and covenants, and occasionally said a little prayer out of curiosity, “What does that mean?”, I never put serious effort into increasing my understanding of temple ordinances.

I have examined those years, trying to understand why I didn’t try harder to grasp what was right in front of me as I attended the temple. Admittedly, I was in the busy stage of bearing and raising five children, and some days it was all I could do to meet their basic needs. I was seriously sleep deprived for many of those years, which surely contributed to my sleepwalking through the temple. I read the occasional article in the Ensign about the temple and heard Relief Society lessons on the subject—but none of them spurred me to action.

What interrupted my sleepwalking? There were several factors. First, once all five of my children were in school all day, I suddenly had more time on my hands. Second, I had an embarrassing experience at the temple recommend desk that served as a wakeup call. I have written about that in an earlier article found here:

They Don’t Take Visa at the Temple

The most motivating wakeup call occurred when I heard a speaker in Sacrament meeting quote a letter by the First Presidency: “Where time and circumstances permit, members are encouraged to replace some leisure activities with temple service.” ⁽²⁾ I can honestly claim that actively responding to this invitation from prophets, seers, and revelators changed my life in significant ways.

Seeking

I determined to attend the temple weekly instead of monthly. It did not happen overnight, but as I persisted in my effort to be in God’s house more frequently, I gradually learned to look forward to my Friday morning endowment sessions while my children were in school. I had never attended the temple alone before, and it seemed strange at first. But I learned to appreciate time to pray and ponder in the Celestial Room without worrying about anyone else’s schedule.

I learned that attending the temple more frequently does not automatically increase our understanding of the ordinances. We are required to seek diligently. And so, my seeking phase began in earnest. “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” (Jer. 29:13)

On more than one occasion, Sister Julie B. Beck urged the women of the Church to “…go to the temple and pay attention.” ⁽³⁾  So, I did. After decades of being oblivious to much of what occurred in the House of the Lord, I began to be much more prayerful about temple attendance, to ask serious questions and search for the answers. Though I’m still waiting for many of those answers to be revealed, occasionally a tiny insight here and there gives me enough new knowledge to motivate me to continue seeking.

Once my youngest child graduated from high school, I became an ordinance worker. Serving in that capacity has gradually enlarged my understanding of the initiatory and endowment in surprising ways. One of the great benefits of working in the temple is the opportunity to occasionally hear counsel and teachings from the members of the temple presidency and matrons during worker preparation meetings.

Years ago, one presidency member referred to the veil ceremony as “the highlight of the endowment.” I recall thinking, Really? To me, going to the veil simply signaled that the endowment was ending, something to rush through so I could get to the Celestial Room. Though I had vaguely wondered about the tokens and the veil itself, I’d never put forth the necessary effort to uncover their significance. I never dreamed that my time at the veil could become a beautiful, holy encounter.

The workers were encouraged to pay focused attention to each token. What does it look like? What words are used to describe it? What does it teach about the Atonement of Jesus Christ? I took the challenge to search for meaning in the veil ceremony. Though my progress was very gradual, I eventually became aware that after two years of praying, pondering and intensely focusing on the words, signs, and tokens, my experience at the veil had completely changed. I was seeing the Savior in this sacred experience. Recent changes to the endowment have clarified in important ways exactly what is happening at the veil.

Here’s another example of how seeking opened my eyes in the temple:

Years ago, I had gradually grown aware that although I was enjoying the time I spent in the House of the Lord as a patron and worker, it had been far too long since my understanding of the endowment had actually increased. I felt strong spiritual “nudges” to supplement my time inside the temple with increased personal study and pondering outside of the temple.

The first elements of temple worship I chose to examine more closely were the symbols incorporated into the architecture and décor. In his book “Endowed with Power,” C. Robert Line states that “… there is a simple, basic architectural design that can be seen in and on… most of our temples. The symbol is that of a circle framed by a square.”

The circle represents heaven, and the square represents earth, or the four corners of the earth. “Simply put,” Lion continues, the temple, like the circle and square, is a place where heaven and earth come together in one.” I was vaguely aware that I’d seen this symbol before on temples, though I could not have said where. While working in the temple, just days after studying about the symbol, I stood quietly in an

endowment room as the session ended and the last few patrons finished. Glancing at the altar in front of me, I was startled to recognize the symbol of the circle within the square–forty-six of them, to be exact–lightly etched around the altar.

Scanning the rest of the room, I discovered more of the same symbol–some fairly obvious to anyone looking for them, and some quite subtle. In the endowment room that afternoon I counted over one hundred “circle within a square” symbols, and since then I’ve discovered even more.

For twenty-five years I had attended this temple but had never given a thought to those symbols. My eyes had passed over them hundreds–perhaps thousands–of times without actually registering what they were or knowing what they represented. Now I see them everywhere.

Now that I recognize this symbol, I’m able to focus on its meaning. Every circle framed by a square is a quiet reminder of Jesus Christ, whose Atonement makes the intersection of heaven and earth a reality. If I had not made the spiritual effort to study about the temple in addition to serving inside, I may never have understood what was right in front of me. This discovery caused me to wonder what else I was missing and has spurred me on to further temple study.

Follow the Prophet to the Temple

My transition from sleepwalking to seeking in the House of the Lord began when I acted on the invitation of the First Presidency to replace some leisure activities with temple service. Twenty years later, our current prophet is continually calling us to the temple and making clear what blessings may follow when we make God’s holy house a priority. Here are just a few of President Russell M. Nelson’s words:

“My dear brothers and sisters, here is my promise. Nothing will help you more to hold fast to the iron rod than worshipping in the temple as regularly as your circumstances permit. Nothing will protect you more as you encounter the world’s mists of darkness. Nothing will bolster your testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ and His Atonement or help you understand God’s magnificent plan more. Nothing will soothe your spirit more during times of pain. Nothing will open the heavens more. Nothing!” ⁽⁴⁾

“Our need to be in the temple on a regular basis has never been greater. I plead with you to take a prayerful look at how you spend your time. Invest time in your future and in that of your family. If you have reasonable access to a temple, I urge you to find a way to make an appointment regularly with the Lord—to be in His holy house—then keep that appointment with exactness and joy. I promise you that the Lord will bring the miracles He knows you need as you make sacrifices to serve and worship in His temples.” ⁽⁵⁾

“If you don’t yet love to attend the temple, go more often—not less. let the Lord, through His Spirit, teach and inspire you there. I promise you that over time, the temple will become a place of safety, solace, and revelation.” ⁽⁶⁾

Our prophet is calling to us to the temple in the strongest possible terms: “I plead with you…”, “I urge you…”

If you recognize yourself in my experience of sleepwalking through the temple, I pray you will take to heart the words of a living prophet. I testify from personal experience that precious blessings await you. Come to the temple of the Lord. “Awake and arouse your faculties” to what is waiting there for earnest seekers.

Recommended reading:

They Don’t Take Visa at the Temple

What if You Don’t Love the Temple

The Garment of the Holy Priesthood, by President Jeffrey R. Holland

Notes:

1. Janice Kapp Perry, I Love to See the Temple, Children’s Songbook, 1989, p.95.
2. Letter from The First Presidency, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, March 11, 2003.
3. Julie B. Beck, Choose Ye This Day to Serve the Lord, an address given April 29, 2010 at the BYU Women’s Conference.
4. President Russell M. Nelson, Rejoice in the Gift of Priesthood Keys, April 2024 general conference, emphasis added.
5. President Russell M. Nelson, Becoming Exemplary Latter-day Saints, October 2018 general conference, emphasis added.
6. President Russell M. Nelson, The Temple and Your Spiritual Foundation, October 2021 general conference, emphasis added.