Kate, I understand what you’re saying and agree that underlying problems need to be treated and addressed. I took this article to be a about the pain of anxiety and resulting behaviors. During the the anxiety attack is not an effective time to deal with the underlying issue. The brain is too flooded to process the cause but once they calm down they will be better able to do so.
I wish I had learned these anxiety techniques in my early years to have helped myself and later to have helped my daughter. Thankfully, good counseling has helped us both to do better at controlling our anxiety attacks and not letting them take control of our behavior. This article is a good supplement and reminder.
Hilarie OliverMay 22, 2019
As a facilitator for a self-help program Recovery, I can add that by learning to self-talk before an anxiety fueled flare gets too intense, there is a way to abort it and calm oneself down. This can take only seconds and is a cognitive-behavioral internal process that a teenager could learn and use.
Nicholeen PeckMay 17, 2019
Well said Gary! That is exactly what I was trying to illustrate. It is all about empowering the child to desire to be a victor not a victim.
GaryMay 16, 2019
Interesting how some interpret successes. Helping people with anxiety (myself included) to cope and find positive outcomes is not to make a parent look good. It's to help the person who's coping with anxiety realize that they can have control over a situation that previously left them feeling completely powerless. This makes them a victor and not a victim of their circumstances.
KateMay 16, 2019
Well this may work when anxiety is merely a behavioral problem--regular garden-variety anxiety (first day or school, giving a talk, etc). It will help mom feel better when the child "controls" their anxiety. Mom is a success! But my experience tells me that the child may well grow up to be the 20-something with serious problems (depression...) because all they really learned was how to make mom feel successful, not what the actual problem was and how to solve THAT (not to mention some resentment against mom for not being interested in the real problem, only in the behavior). Well-behaved children often have pretty spectacular mid-life crises.
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ShariMay 22, 2019
Kate, I understand what you’re saying and agree that underlying problems need to be treated and addressed. I took this article to be a about the pain of anxiety and resulting behaviors. During the the anxiety attack is not an effective time to deal with the underlying issue. The brain is too flooded to process the cause but once they calm down they will be better able to do so. I wish I had learned these anxiety techniques in my early years to have helped myself and later to have helped my daughter. Thankfully, good counseling has helped us both to do better at controlling our anxiety attacks and not letting them take control of our behavior. This article is a good supplement and reminder.
Hilarie OliverMay 22, 2019
As a facilitator for a self-help program Recovery, I can add that by learning to self-talk before an anxiety fueled flare gets too intense, there is a way to abort it and calm oneself down. This can take only seconds and is a cognitive-behavioral internal process that a teenager could learn and use.
Nicholeen PeckMay 17, 2019
Well said Gary! That is exactly what I was trying to illustrate. It is all about empowering the child to desire to be a victor not a victim.
GaryMay 16, 2019
Interesting how some interpret successes. Helping people with anxiety (myself included) to cope and find positive outcomes is not to make a parent look good. It's to help the person who's coping with anxiety realize that they can have control over a situation that previously left them feeling completely powerless. This makes them a victor and not a victim of their circumstances.
KateMay 16, 2019
Well this may work when anxiety is merely a behavioral problem--regular garden-variety anxiety (first day or school, giving a talk, etc). It will help mom feel better when the child "controls" their anxiety. Mom is a success! But my experience tells me that the child may well grow up to be the 20-something with serious problems (depression...) because all they really learned was how to make mom feel successful, not what the actual problem was and how to solve THAT (not to mention some resentment against mom for not being interested in the real problem, only in the behavior). Well-behaved children often have pretty spectacular mid-life crises.
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