I very much sympathize with your predicament as I, myself, am divorced due to pornography addiction, which led to adultery, after 33 years of marriage.
Elder Oaks's levels of pornography use are only preliminary. Those are the levels of addiction. Addiction is the second step and begins when you go back for more after inadvertent or deliberate exposure. Especially in males, who are visually-oriented.
The next step after addiction is real-world experiences. You've had enough of just "looking," you want to experience what those in the videos/pictures are doing. Unfortunately, when married, this is heightened adultery. Adultery really begins with the pornography addiction.
After real-world experiences, it can get gross and ugly. Extreme cases lead to rape and/or murder. Also, this coveting leads you right down the line of breaking commandments. First you covet the sex, then you steal from your family finances, then you lie to your spouse about how you're spending money--on adultery.
My advice to anyone who knows a boyfriend is addicted to pornography is RUN! It's nice to want to "understand," but, would you align yourself willingly with a heroin addict? Pornography is the worst addiction of all--worse than heroin, alcoholism, and smoking. RUN!
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