My husband and I settled happily into our airplane seats, anticipating the warmth of a tropical vacation after a winter of record-breaking snow. Just as I began to relax, I blinked, and a rush of “floaters” washed across my right eye. You’ve likely experienced floaters–harmless, transparent strands that occasionally appear in our vision. We can control their movements by rotating our eyeballs, and they usually disappear as quickly as they come.
But this was different. For fifteen minutes, my field of vision was filled with inky black loops, dots, and swirls, as if someone had written in beautiful calligraphy across my eye. It was difficult to appreciate the beauty, however, while sensing that whatever was happening might signal a dangerous eye condition.
After arriving in Maui, a phone call to my optometrist’s office back home confirmed that I did not have the urgent symptoms of a detaching retina, but the unusual abundance of dark floaters was enough cause for concern that the eye doctor wanted to see me as soon as I returned to Utah. If I experienced any pain in my eye, or tiny flashes of light, I was to immediately seek medical attention in Hawaii. Gratefully, our time in Maui went smoothly, with no further eye issues.
When I returned home a week later, scans of my eye showed a small tear in the retina, and my optometrist referred me to a retinal specialist who confirmed the diagnosis. The specialist informed me that a ten-minute laser procedure could repair the tear, and he could do it right then. So, after giving me numbing drops, the doctor darkened the room, telling me that he was going to administer “…a pulse of light so bright that it will stun your eye.” He warned me that everything would go black and I would be temporarily blind in my right eye after the laser surgery was completed, but not to worry–my vision would gradually return within about ten minutes.
Everything went exactly as the doctor predicted. The pulse of light did indeed stun my eye, resulting in temporary blindness during the laser procedure. And, as promised, after a period of recovery my eyesight gradually returned.
During the months following this unusual experience, I have pondered stories of individuals who have encountered the stunning glory of Deity, and the effect of that glory upon them. I have recognized a pattern in their lives and in my own: the glory, the gap, and the grace.
When we catch even a glimpse of the glory and power of the Lord, we become almost painfully aware of the gap between us, created by our sin and weakness. This would be too awful to bear, except that the same knowledge of the Lord’s glory and greatness that helps us see the gap also gives us great faith in the power of the Savior to help us overcome our struggles through His grace.
The Glory
It is a fascinating exercise to study the accounts of people who have come face to face with the glory of God, such as Moses and Joseph Smith. In the Pearl of Great Price we read:
“… Moses was caught up into an exceedingly high mountain, and he saw God face to face, and he talked with him, and the glory of God was upon Moses; therefore, Moses could endure his presence… And the presence of God withdrew from Moses, that his glory was not upon [him]; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth… And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: … But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural, but my spiritual eyes, for my natural eyes could not have beheld; for I should have withered and died in his presence; but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him.” (Moses 1:1-2, 9-11 emphasis added)
In Joseph’s familiar account of the first vision, he wrote: “I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun… When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description… When I came to myself again, I found myself lying on my back, looking up into heaven. When the light had departed, I had no strength…” (JS History 1:16-17, 20)
The first time I read the following verse from the book of Revelation I was blown away: “The city had no need of the sun…to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof.” (Revelation 21:23) There is no light source above God and the Lamb. They literally are the light. Talk about glory! No wonder Moses and Joseph were so weak after coming face-to-face with God.
The Gap
Since most of us mortals have not had such an experience, it is imperative that we learn from those who have. As Moses declared after his face-to-face encounter with God, “Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.” (Moses 1:10) This is the gap: “When measured against absolute purity and holiness,” we are completely inadequate. In our present state, we cannot abide the glory of the Lord. (1)
And this is the ultimate spiritual paradox: the conflicting notions that we are “less than the dust of the earth” AND that we are beloved children of Heavenly Parents. (Mosiah 4:2) Yet both of these statements are true. Recognition of the gap separating us from our glorious Parents is crucial. It is what motivates us to seek change, and to have faith that those perfectly loving Heavenly Parents prepared a way for a spiritual transformation to occur in order to eventually close the gap between us.
Moroni describes in the strongest possible terms the resulting misery when a guilty conscience encounters true holiness: “Do ye suppose that ye could be happy to dwell with that holy Being (Christ), when your souls are racked with a consciousness of guilt that ye have ever abused his laws? … Ye would be more miserable to dwell with a holy and just God, under a consciousness of your filthiness before him, than ye would to dwell with the damned souls in hell… For behold, when ye shall be brought to see your nakedness before God, and also the glory of God, and the holiness of Jesus Christ, it will kindle a flame of unquenchable fire upon you.” (Mormon 9:3-6, emphasis added)
The book of Mosiah contains a marvelous example of progressing from the glory to the gap to the grace. After King Benjamin impressed upon his people their indebtedness to God, and all that Jesus Christ would suffer to atone for their sins: “… he cast his eyes round about on the multitude, and behold they had fallen to the earth, for the fear of the Lord had come upon them. And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God…” (Mosiah 4:1-2)
King Benjamin stated, “… if the knowledge of the goodness of God at this time has awakened you to a sense of your nothingness and your worthless and fallen state… as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God… I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility… and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you…” (Mosiah 4:5,11-12)
The Grace
When young Nephi desired to see the same vision his father had seen, an angel asked him this important question: “Knowest thou the condescension of God?” Nephi responded, “I know that He loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.” (1 Nephi 11:16-17). Years later, it was apparent in Nephi’s writings that he had greatly increased his understanding of the condescension of God and His mercy in extending grace to His children in spite of their “nothingness.”
After Nephi expressed deep discouragement about his sins and weakness (the gap), he demonstrated the crucial element of not only recognizing his nothingness before God, but also exercising faith to reach for the grace offered by the Savior:
“O wretched man that I am! … I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me… my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted… O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension… hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow…? Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart and give place no more for the enemy of my soul… O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. (2 Nephi 4:18-19, 26, 28, 34) Knowing in whom he trusted gave Nephi faith that he could be changed.
Our ability to appreciate the magnificent gift of Christ’s grace is dependent on our perceiving the staggering gap between ourselves and Deity. It is by growing in the knowledge of the glory of God that we both see the gap between us and develop faith in God’s ability to save us–to comprehend how willingly He bestows grace when we humbly seek it.
The Bible dictionary teaches, “The main idea of the word [grace] is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ… This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts… Divine grace is needed by every soul in consequence of the Fall of Adam and also because of man’s weaknesses and shortcomings. It is truly the grace of Jesus Christ that makes salvation possible.”
For the committed Christian, this cycle of glory, gap, and grace will continue for a lifetime: the key is to continually seek to know God. When we grow in understanding of God’s glory and true nature, we increase in sensitivity to the gap between us, and our faith in the atoning grace of Jesus Christ leads to repentance, which results in even greater understanding of the glory of God. It is a sacred upward spiral.
As I consider the countless times I have been blessed by the grace of Jesus Christ, the many instances He has rescued me from my sins, my arrogance, I must wholeheartedly echo the exclamation of Ammon: “Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold… I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.” (Alma 26:16)
Notes:
- Cory B. Jensen, Understanding Your Endowment, CFI, p.47.
Recommended reading:
- Brad Wilcox, “His Grace is Sufficient,” BYU speeches.
https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/brad-wilcox/his-grace-is-sufficient/
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Gift of Grace, April 2015 General Conference.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2015/04/the-gift-of-grace?lang=eng
