Line upon Line

Sign up for Meridian’s Free Newsletter, please CLICK HERE

I grew up believing in God and trying to be obedient to His commandments. As I struggled through the circumstances of life I eventually realized that I was missing something important—the constant feeling that God loves me. There is a critical difference between the intellectual idea that God loves me and the deeper emotional knowing that comes when I feel His love.

When I was young, I went to church. My parents were good people who lived according to the gospel. They taught my sisters and I to love the Lord by their example and by the way they spoke to God when we prayed as a family. I felt secure as a child in my parents’ faith.

I remember the day I prayed to know for myself that God was really there. I felt a gentle, loving confirmation that He knew my name during that prayer. I knew then that God loved me.

I served a mission. I married. I worked on my education. Started a career. We started a family. During these years I prayed a lot. But looking back I realize that I also missed a lot.

The moments when I felt God’s love were only occasional. They usually came when I was racked with some torment. During these times of pain and emptiness, I needed God and spent more time pouring out my deepest concerns and emotions to Him as I prayed. And He answered. I felt his love and I was comforted.

I thought this was the way it was supposed to be. I thought that if I tried my very best to live the gospel. If I prayed and attended to my religious duties that I was doing my part. I trusted that when I really needed God that He would be there for me. What I didn’t realize was that I was living far below my privileges.

Years ago, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf shared a story about a man who had saved diligently until he had enough for his dream cruise on the Mediterranean Sea. Not understanding that his cruise ship ticket included meals and entertainment, he kept to himself in his cabin eating beans and crackers and drinking powdered lemonade. Only at the very end of the cruise did he learn the truth, when it was too late to enjoy the privileges of his paid passage.1

“There is one primary purpose for prayer and it isn’t getting answers or begging for forgiveness.”

Hearing that story caused me to re-evaluate my habits of prayer. At the time I was serving as a bishop and it seemed like I prayed all the time. Actually, I did pray all the time, about many things. However, like the frugal traveler, I was unaware that God intended prayer to be much more than I understood it to be. I would learn during my years as a bishop that there is one primary purpose for prayer and it isn’t getting answers or begging for forgiveness, though both can also benefit us.

As a bishop, I prayed about my family, filling callings, ward members, non-members, and many other things. I prayed for comfort and for forgiveness for my own mistakes. Thankfully, my understanding of prayer was still developing.

As I sat on the other side of the bishop’s desk from many good people who came in for counsel from what they hoped was an inspired bishop and thus counsel from the Lord, I learned two things. First, that God loved the members of my ward, especially the ones who were in trouble and seeking help. It didn’t matter if the trouble was of their own making or not. I felt His love for these members. The second thing I learned was that God loves bishops, too. In my weakness, he blessed me to give counsel that was not my own. The members in my office learned and so did their bishop.

The effect of feeling God’s love for so many people week after week was profound. It caused me to think deeply about my own relationship with God. I began to realize that I was still eating beans and crackers far too often.

Instead of keeping myself busy, as it was very easy to do, and praying for and about everyone but myself, I began taking a lot more time to work through concerns I had about my own salvation.

I think we all have worries that we are not good enough for God to save. I know I did. I hoped that I could be saved and that the doctrines of the atonement and salvation could be applied to me. But I realize now that I was yearning for something more than hope.

I had been blessed to counsel others about how the adversary picks at us, accuses us, and works relentlessly to get us to look past our own inherent goodness. I was also blessed to understand that this counsel applied to me, as well, bishop or not.

That may sound somewhat strange, but is it really? The devil mixes a concoction of constant fault finding with the idea that where much is given much is expected. This dangerous brew can subtly but surely intoxicate each member of the church, in fact each child of God, until we believe that we are not yet quite as lovable to God as we could and should be. Avoid this bitter spiritual drink just as you avoid physical poison. 

“Prayer—at its best—establishes a conduit to heaven that opens wide enough
and stays open long enough for God’s love to fill us to overflowing.”

We may be tempted to drink up this idea until we recognize a key truth: prayer—at its best—establishes a conduit to heaven that opens wide enough and stays open long enough for God’s love to fill us to overflowing.

I have learned that we must feel God’s love spilling over the lip of our soul’s glass frequently, even constantly. It must fill us over and over until we begin to believe that we are good enough for God to save. It is this feeling of bowing before God’s love that purges the devil’s lies from our hearts.

For me, this has become the essence of the atonement of Jesus Christ. The doctrines of the Savior’s atonement can sometimes feel incomprehensible. But When we feel the Savior’s love and Heavenly Father’s love, we begin to understand who we really are. We begin to understand that God has important work for each of us to do and that He wants us to recognize the divine within ourselves. We begin to understand that we don’t need to continue to eat the beans and crackers of Christian living.

There is much that needs doing just now. I think God wants more than righteous children who are trying to obey Him but spend their days afraid they will never measure up. I think God want us, His children, to understand that we are glorious and good despite our weakness. He wants us to accept that through the atoning sacrifice of His Son that we are enough, right now, to do the work He sets before us.

God wants us to understand that His love will protect us from the buffetings of Satan. When we are thus protected we can become arrows in God’s quiver ready to fly to our work and strike the target with righteous power, even if we don’t hit the bullseye every time.

“When we are filled with a sense of God’s love for us . . . Our eyes open.
Our prayers change. We begin to let go of problems and struggles . . . “

When we are filled with a sense of God’s love for us, we begin to emerge from our cramped gospel cabins and we begin to walk the deck of the great cruise ship we call life. Even the storms change when we are filled with reminders of God’s love. Our eyes open. Our prayers change. We begin to let go of problems and struggles and take God’s hand as He offers to lead us past them.

We are taught to pray without ceasing.2 I now understand that unceasing prayer keeps the conduit to God’s love clear and unobstructed.

It is time brothers and sisters for each of us to understand the absolute necessity of feeling God’s love. We must learn to more frequently feel this connection that we can be constantly protected and nourished by our Heavenly Father and His Son who do love us beyond our capacity to fully understand.

———————

Tom and his wife Julie love encouraging others to believe in God’s love and His willingness to help them through life’s struggles. At the beginning of 2018, they launched The Higher Attitudes Podcast to encourage listeners to believe in God’s love as they find new ways, higher ways, to notice and spread God’s blessings.

Visit The Higher Attitudes Podcast page to listen to a variety of 5-10 minute episodes. You may also want to listen to a related episode on “The Absolute Necessity of Feeling God’s love.”  If you like the show, the Obenchain’s invite you to subscribe and listen to new episodes as they are released.

———————

Links:

The Higher Attitudes Podcast = https://higherattitudes.libsyn.com/

The Absolute Necessity of Feeling God’s Love Podcast = https://traffic.libsyn.com/higherattitudes/The_Absolute_Necessity_of_Feeling_Gods_Love.mp3

How to Listen to The Higher Attitudes Podcast = https://www.higherattitudes.com/how-to-listen-to-the-higher-attitudes-podcast/