EXPAND Symposium on Women: Magnifying LDS Women’s Local Impact
Neylan McBaine has written Women at Church: Magnifying LDS Women’s Local Impact.
A few weeks ago when the Elders Quorum and Relief Society lessons were drawn from “The Work of Latter-day Saint Women” in the Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith manual, my husband’s Elders Quorum teacher led his class through each one of the squares in Patriarchy Bingo, the “ice breaker activity” produced by Ordain Women to “help identify some symptoms of growing up in a patriarchal culture” and published on their website.
Far from a controversial or heated discussion, the men’s reaction, according to several I informally interviewed after, was summed up in a single comment: “We realized that only one ‘symptom’ in the game was a direct result of women not having priesthood authority. The rest are things we can control with what we have today.”
That one “symptom” – “Your brothers were able to perform ordinances when they turned 12, leaving you out” – is of course a direct result of priesthood keys and authority currently held only by men, and the phrasing of the statement is clearly meant to conjure a sense of lack in the women who are excluded from performing those ordinances.
But every one of the other “symptoms,” while still deliberately phrased to highlight the potential distress, points more to pervasive cultural practices and traditions than they underscore a pressing need for female priesthood ordination: “The leaders you grew up learning about, singing about and honoring were men.” “If you looked for spiritual guidance, it was usually from a man.” “You were taught that your primary goal in life was temple marriage, while boys were also taught to prepare for a career.” “You were taught that men and boys are naturally less spiritual, less nurturing and more selfish.” “Most scripture stories were about men and their spiritual journeys. Most stories about women were about marriage or their ability to conceive.” And so on.
The men in my mainstream, mostly conservative Salt Lake City ward came to the same conclusion in their lesson that I have as I’ve studied women in the church over the past five years: many of the things that grate on some women in the Church today are rooted in culture and tradition and can be alleviated without changing priesthood authority.
This is the message that I’ve been stating repeatedly as I’ve toured with my recent book, Women at Church: Magnifying LDS Women’s Local Impact. We, on the ground and in the pews, have more control over the messages we send our women, our men and our youth about the role and potential of women than we think. But we are an obedient people, a tradition-bound people, and we are constantly weighing the eternal paradox of following the Prophet on one hand with seeking personal revelation on the other. Because of these characteristics, I believe half the battle in breaking some of the practices that are damaging our people today is getting us to claim the power to make a change ourselves. And I believe we have nothing less than a divine mandate to closely examine our practices with an eye for adaptability and improvement:
“For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward. But he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned.” (D&C 58:26–29)
Do we repudiate the sacred nature of motherhood if we start encouraging our young women to think of their own career potential too? On the contrary, it’s smart life coaching. Do we denigrate our prophet if we honor our female leaders as spiritual guides as well? Not at all. We only add to the wealth of spiritual wisdom.
While I suppose my sisters at Ordain Women would suggest that all of the “symptoms” on Patriarchy Bingo are a result of women not holding priesthood authority, I believe strongly that shifts in our rhetoric, our narratives, our optics can alleviate many of the pain points that afflict our women today, thus making female priesthood ordination less pressing than it appears to them.
To be clear, I’m not talking about being satisfied with a token woman quoted now and then or a single woman held up as a public example of how women are important in the church. I’m talking about a fundamental, wholesale excavation of women’s authority, voice and visibility in our church structures and worship practices. It’s a model of gender cooperation that we may not see readily practiced in our external lived experience at school or work or in governments, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
It’s been particularly interesting for me to observe, over the past few months since the book was released, how church members have responded to the message of the book. On the one hand, any discussion of change – even common sense, easily made changes – smacks of spiritual hubris and poses a dangerous challenge to “following the Prophet,” and to that audience the book oversteps. This reaction frustrates me because it suggests that everything we do today in the Church is exactly the way the Prophet wants it. If practices aren’t to our liking, the argument seems to go, we are in direct contempt of the Prophet and thus the Savior.
While I honor the importance and necessity of holding this sacred faith on matters of doctrine, I cannot imagine that the Prophet is aware of and entirely content with all of our lived experiences as worshippers in the church community. What burden rests on us, then, if all is to the Prophet’s liking? It feels to me that there must be some balance between expressing faith in the Prophet’s ability to lead the church and recognizing our own responsibilities as stewards of those in our care.
In fact, we know that the Lord Himself is often disappointed with the way things are being done in His name. In the Doctrine & Covenants Section 50, in 1831 when the organization, motivations and communications of the Church should have been at their most pure, the Lord says, “Behold, I, the Lord, have looked upon you, and have seen abominations in the church that profess my name.” The Church is a work in progress, just as all of us are.
At the other extreme, people who have suffered intense cognitive dissonance or ecclesiastical offense and believe the only true fix for women’s structural lack of parity is ordination are likely to call the book naïve or underwhelming. If these critics want the book to be a feminist manifesto, they are disappointed. But if they take the book on its own terms for what it is and for the (more conservative) audience it is meant to address, these critics have ultimately found the book useful to some degree.
But in most of the feedback I’ve received, members express a feeling of relief that we may have a third way, a middle ground, as an option to move forward: a vision for gender cooperation that says it’s okay to acknowledge that gender relations in the Church aren’t what we experience in modern American culture. A vision that celebrates gender differences while still determining to do better at working together.
While I’ve experienced moments of deep pain and frustration over the past few months as people have publicly questioned my faith, my motives, my intellect and my character, I am sustained by the stories and emails that tell me of small but important adaptations happening on the local level. Interestingly, some leaders demonstrate a pronounced nonchalance when proposing an increased Activity Days budget or inviting the Young Women to be greeters.
One older bishop, after scheduling a woman to speak last in Sacrament Meeting for the first time, said to me as he shrugged his shoulders, “Well, traditions are changing.” It’s those stories that are most encouraging to me because they suggest that a true cultural shift is in the works: it’s not counter cultural or suspect for these leaders to change a tradition or propose a new practice. It’s the most natural thing in the world.
A chapter from Neylan’s book called “Strengthening Ward Council Relationships” is here.
