As we begin a New Year, we often “ring out the old, and ring in the new.” What have we learned from this past year and what would we like to happen in the new year? Maybe looking back, we are saddened for past mistakes and damaged relationships. Maybe we wish for a “do-over.” Since we cannot change the past, this can be a good time and a blessed opportunity to make amends, repair relationships, and have a fresh start. What better time to apply the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Approaching Easter in April 2022, our beloved past prophet President Russell M. Nelson gave us this invitation:

“I repeat my call to end the conflicts in your life. Exercise the humility, courage, and strength required both to forgive and to seek forgiveness. The Savior has promised that “if [we] forgive men their trespasses, [our] heavenly Father will also forgive [us].” Two weeks from today we celebrate Easter. Between now and then, I invite you to seek an end to a personal conflict that has weighed you down. Could there be a more fitting act of gratitude to Jesus Christ for His Atonement? If forgiveness presently seems impossible, plead for power through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ to help you. As you do so, I promise personal peace and a burst of spiritual momentum. When the Savior atoned for all mankind, He opened a way that those who follow Him can have access to His healing, strengthening, and redeeming power. These spiritual privileges are available to all who seek to hear Him and follow Him.”¹

How do we make amends? The Church’s manual Healing through the Savior: The Addiction Recovery Program² (ARP) provides a 12-Step Recovery Guide that can be effective for all of us even if we are not struggling with addictive behavior. I once viewed a Ted Talk where the presenter introduced himself not as a “recovering alcoholic,” or a “recovering addict,” but as a “recovering sinner.” Isn’t that me? Isn’t that you? I would suggest that we can learn much from the 12-Step Program, including making amends, and repairing and strengthening relationships.

Below are excerpts from the manual, but I strongly encourage you to study each step. It is an inspired source to apply the cleansing and healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Make a written list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them. We make a list of people we harmed and make a plan to “clean up and rebuild our relationships.” This is not a quick and easy task, but it requires serious, prayerful reflection. We can ask people we trust to give input and feedback. We don’t try to minimize our harmful actions or shift blame onto others who may have harmed us. As we ask for our Savior’s help, he will lift our burden and help us find peace.

Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons we have harmed. We are reminded that we will need courage, good judgment, sensitivity, prudence, and appropriate timing. We will need to humble ourselves and seek the Lord’s help and grace. Meeting in person is best, should be brief and honest, and never argumentative. Sometimes meeting with them is not possible because they don’t want to (which we should respect), or a visit would cause more harm than good. Be sensitive.

Elder Neil L. Andersen taught:

“There are many wrongs that cannot be made right by the one who has hurt or offended, and there is pain and suffering that cannot be fully repaired. But never dismiss the generous restitution you can make, the suffering you can ease, even though love, purity, virtue, trust, and respect may be impossible to restore without the Lord’s intervention. … For some sins, the only way to make restitution may come from blessing the lives of others and being an instrument in the Lord’s hands to bring his goodness and grace to others” (The Divine Gift of Forgiveness [2019], 218, 221).³

In my opinion, life is about relationships … our relationship with God, with our families, and with the world. May the Lord bless us as we strive to repair, rebuild, create, and strengthen our relationships with great kindness and love.