I like the way we can sign up for an endowment session in the temple.  We search online, find an open time, choose the slot, and we are guaranteed a seat when we arrive.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could sign up for the spirit in the same way?  When I have been assigned to teach a lesson or give a talk I have often wished I could “sign up” for the spirit, and be guaranteed the spirit would arrive, 10:00 a.m., right on time.

We all know inviting the spirit isn’t that simple.  We can invite with a nice, polite request, being clear about the purpose of our event, and those who are invited, and the time we will need the spirit to be there, but then we wait.  The spirit may or may not accept our invitation.  We may or may not be blessed with the spirit we have invited.  What makes the spirit decide whether or not he will show up when invited to our meetings?

I have observed two things we think invites the spirit, but aren’t always effective and I have also observed two things we can do to invite the spirit, that are more effective than we imagine.

Two Invitations we Think Work, but Might Not

#1. Reading the scriptures.  Counsel to read the scriptures is ubiquitous among followers of the restored gospel.  Missionaries who want to help an investigator gain a testimony will encourage them to read the scriptures.  Young men and Young women’s leaders, and parents who want their youth to gain a testimony will encourage these young people to read the scriptures.  Conference speakers wishing to help those suffering trials will encourage the sufferer to read the scriptures.  The response to almost every question we might ask a church leader includes counsel to read the scriptures.

We can be disappointed if we follow this counsel and don’t feel the spirit.  We might assume that because we read we merit the blessings.  We may be extremely diligent in our reading, with a calendar where we check off the days we read, noting that we didn’t miss a single day.  We may have a timer or a stop watch assuring that we read the exact amount of time we allotted.  If we have committed to read a chapter a day we may rejoice when reading Words of Mormon and groan when we enter Alma.  Reading the scriptures just to check the box won’t necessarily invite the spirit.

However, pondering scripture, searching the scriptures, or reading with a question in mind will indeed invite the spirit.  A sincere desire to grow, and a humble willingness to learn will motivate the spirit to touch our hearts.  We might not read sequentially.  We might not read more than a few verses.  Our ponderings may last minutes or hours.  It is the way we read, the purpose with which we read, and the attitude with which we read that invites the spirit.

#2. Say your prayers.  Perhaps we have learned that saying our prayers is a sure way to invite the spirit.  However, I wonder how our prayers would change if instead of inviting someone to “say the prayer,” we invited them to “talk to God.”   I recall the hundreds of times we invited our children to come to the living room with the invitation, “It’s time for prayers.”  They came running, some grudgingly, some willingly, sometimes eager to pray, sometimes refusing to pray.  I wonder what would happen if we had extended a different invitation.

When our children served their missions, we were able to face-time with them twice a year, on Christmas and on Mother’s Day.   The whole family was excited as we gathered around the computer screen.  “Shhhh, we get to talk to your sister,” we counseled the children still at home.   They were “all in,” joyful, and attentive.   I wonder what would happen if we extended our invitation to pray as a family in a similar manner: “We’re going to kneel as a family and we’re going to talk to Heavenly Father.”  I wonder if the attitude would change, the reverence would increase and the Spirit would attend?

We can always pray on our own with the perspective that we are having a conversation with our Father in Heaven.  With this in mind, we might pause frequently after we have shared a concern and wait for an answer.  We might recall that Heavenly Father already knows what we need before we ask him, and that we have probably been asking for the same thing for quite some time, and he remembers our previous conversations.

Remember The Father’s chastisement of Oliver Cowdery, “you took no thought save it was to ask me.”  We might do some homework between prayers.  That homework may include some soul-searching.  As we come to the Lord having done our part the spirit is more likely to touch our heart.

Two ways the Spirit can more Readily Respond to Our Invitation

#1 Choose to spend “alone time” with The Lord.  Alone time is a rare commodity in a busy family.  Young mothers may be awakened to the cries of a baby and fall asleep with a child in her arms.  Dads rush out the door to work and rush home to family and church responsibilities.  When we finally get “two minutes of peace” it is tempting to check on a favorite sports team, or pick up a juicy novel, or take a nap!  However, these rare moments of quiet are ideal times to listen for the spirit.  You will already have “studied out in your mind,” your concerns, and communicated with The Lord through sincere prayer.  By creating alone time, you have created a setting where the spirit feels not like an intruder, but like a welcome guest.  Alone time may need to be negotiated with a spouse, or a boss.  It may require rising a little earlier in the morning, or turning off the ringer on the phone, or taking a walk without earbuds.

#2. Testify every chance you get.  I am often surprised when the spirit testifies to something I have shared in a formal setting, or in an informal setting.  When I feel the spirit ratify my words, I think to myself, “I suspected what I was saying was true, but it really must be true.”  Like President Boyd K. Packer said, “a testimony is to be found in the bearing of it.”  We can share our testimony in all kinds of ways, besides a formal testimony meeting.  We can share something we read in the scriptures at the dinner table.  While driving our children to their activities we can share spiritual experiences we have had.  Writing letters to missionaries, or to family members is an opportunity to bear testimony.  Courteously defending ourselves if our beliefs or religious practices are questioned is an opportunity to bear testimony.  I think the Spirit is pleased with us when we bear testimony, and the Spirit wants to respond with a gentle pat on the back.

JeaNette Goates Smith is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist from Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida and the author of four books on family relationships.  She recently served as a mission leader with her husband in the Dominican Republic.  For more information see www.smithfamilytherapy.org