In this episode, I interview Dr. Julie Hanks, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, author, and assistant professor at Utah Valley University on the topic of why idealizing motherhood can be harmful to women’s mental and emotional health. Specifically, we discuss:

  • Why our culture idealizes mothers.
  • How how idealizing motherhood can be harmful to women’s mental health.
  • The difference between “role and relationship”.
  • Why betrayed women feel shame that they’re not available for their children and how idealizing motherhood adds unnecessary pressure. 
  • How betrayed women deal with the shame of not being best their self while healing from trauma.
  • How women can challenge the glorification of self- neglect, especially when resources are low.

Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist with 28 years experience specializing in women’s emotional health and relationships. She is an assistant professor of social work at Utah Valley University. Dr. Hanks is the founder and director of Wasatch Family Therapy, an outpatient therapy clinic in Cottonwood Heights and Bountiful, UT. She is author of The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide for Women, a blogger, a local and national media contributor, an online influencer, a private practice consultant, and an award-winning performing songwriter. A native Californian, Hanks currently lives in Sandy, UT. For additional resources visit or connect with @drjuliehanks on social media.

The Illuminate Podcast is hosted by Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT and founder of LifeStar of St. George, Utah, a treatment program for couples healing from the impact of pornography and sexual addiction. Learn more at

Geoff has also created audio and video courses to help support individuals and couples in marriage, addiction, and betrayal trauma recovery at Illuminate listeners can enter promo code: ILLUMINATE at checkout and save 15%.