Relationships

Editor’s note: This week, we are celebrating the 30th anniversary of The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

September 23, 2025, marks 30 years since the First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints introduced The Family: A Proclamation to the World.¹ In our increasingly complex world, I have chosen to write this article as a letter to our youth and young adults who are navigating exciting opportunities, difficult challenges, and important decisions during this pivotal time of their lives.

Does the Proclamation Apply to Me?

When President Gordon B. Hinckley read The Family Proclamation during a General Relief Society Meeting in September 1995, it came as a bold declaration of restored eternal truth regarding individuals and families to warn the world and call everyone to action. The Proclamation can be seen as an “ensign to the nations” and a beacon on a hill.² But does its light shine for you? Is it still relevant to you, our youth and young adults who make up the rising generation of the church? This season of your life brings numerous challenges and opportunities. You are discovering who you are, where you fit in the world, and what you can contribute. You are navigating relationships, school, work, and your physical and spiritual health amid rising risks and responsibilities. It’s a lot to manage, and sometimes these pressures can rupture your sense of self and leave you doubting your capacity to handle it all. You may not know much about The Proclamation, or if you do, it might seem out of date, irrelevant, or unreasonable, considering your current realities, but please consider how it might relate to the very questions you are asking God about your life right now. President Nelson recognized how important this stage of life is for you: “You are establishing priorities and patterns that will dramatically affect not just your mortal life but also your eternal life.”³

A Beacon, not a Benchmark

It might be easy to read the Proclamation as a checklist, with benchmarks you must meet to live up to God’s expectations. But your journey is unique and evolving. As you find your way, remember that God’s words are a beacon, not a scorecard for measuring success. The Proclamation lights the way by telling your true story – from creation into eternity. It declares truths that crystallize your divine worth and potential. God’s work and glory is to bring to pass your immortality and eternal life (Moses 1:39). Mortality, however, is the messy middle of God’s plan. When you are in the middle of confusing decisions and difficult relationships, with losses and disappointments piling up around you, you may wonder, How can this be God’s plan? However, the “mess” is the essential material for creating enduring love, beauty, and joy. In the mishmash and mishaps of mortality are your opportunities to build something real and eternal with God. Elder Bednar has taught that your hope for a loving eternal family “begins with you!”⁴ All your experiences, good and bad, can lead to learning and growth that will benefit your current or future family relationships. The Lord Himself said, “know thou…that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7). In this life, you are developing the desires and abilities to become, through Jesus Christ, whole and complete, securely connected in loving family relationships.⁵ If you desire it, family is your destiny.⁶

Truth, Agency, and Correct Principles

God established the plan of salvation and exaltation to enable your learning and growth so that you can receive all that He has. The conditions of mortality may seem pointless or cruel to some, but they are necessary for you to realize your divine potential. They include opposition, a Savior, a physical body, moral agency, absolute truth, and temple ordinances and covenants. Don’t doubt God’s plan. Jump in, you’ve got this!

Start by finding and understanding eternal truth. President Nelson unequivocally stated that truth is not relative, “There really is absolute truth-eternal truth.”⁷ Real, solid, unchanging truth is empowering. And you have the ability (and responsibility) to discern truth from error through the Spirit. Moroni wrote, “by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things” (Moroni 10:5). You are swimming in a turbulent ocean of information. Chaos and deceit flood every part of life. President Nelson warned, “One of the plagues of our day is that too few people know where to turn for truth.”⁸ In this confusing environment, you can turn to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ for eternal truth.

Next, you must act on the truth you know. God gave you your agency to choose right from wrong, and the power to act. Your righteous use of moral agency is fundamental to your learning and growth. Elder Bednar taught that “[agency] is the capacity and power of independent action.”⁹ Moral agency is both a divine gift and a sacred responsibility. Because God is bound to His own laws of agency, His Spirit will not force or compel you. You must choose to act, for we “should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of [our] own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness” (D&C 58:26–28). As a free agent, you must seek and receive spiritual knowledge and apply the truths you discover. Your spiritual growth depends on it.

Finally, you need to identify the gospel’s guiding principles and apply them to your specific circumstances. Elder Bednar described principles this way, “[A] gospel principle is a doctrinally based guideline for the righteous exercise of moral agency. Principles derive from broader gospel truths and provide direction.”¹⁰ Jesus Christ and His prophets teach with correct principles rather than proliferating a list of specific rules so that you can learn to govern yourselves.¹¹ Rules can break down when circumstances change, but principles adapt and remain relevant and valuable. Apostle Richard G. Scott said that “principles are concentrated truth, packaged for application”, and they add clarity even in “the most confusing and compelling circumstances.”¹²

When you identify and apply correct principles in your life, you gain spiritual knowledge and wisdom, line upon line (2 Ne. 28:30). Elder Pingree described this process, “Once the Holy Ghost confirms a specific truth to us, our understanding deepens as we put that principle into practice. Over time, as we consistently live the principle, we gain a sure knowledge of that truth.”¹³ Gaining knowledge and understanding is a gradual process of seeking and applying true principles to see if they bear fruit. This takes time and effort, but I think your generation is primed and ready for truth. “The youth of the Church are hungry for things of the Spirit; they are eager to learn the gospel, and they want it straight, undiluted. They are not doubters, but inquirers, seekers after truth. [They] sense the hollowness of teachings that would make the gospel plan a mere system of ethics.”¹⁴ It is your great opportunity to learn truth by faith and apply true principles of the gospel in your life. You will learn wisdom and receive the vital blessings of spiritual strength, direction, and protection.¹⁵

Additionally, Elder Uchtdorf observed that principles “don’t make decisions for you.”¹⁶ Rules might, but principles never do. Principles provide the reasons for making a righteous choice or decision. It has been my experience working with youth that you care deeply about the reasoning behind things. A humble, curious disciple wants to know “why?” That question can be so valuable to your spiritual learning. Understanding the rationale for an action or behavior fosters your desire, your internal motivation, to do it. “Because I said so” doesn’t cut it, whether it’s coming from your parents or Church leaders. Reasons motivate better than checklists—and they are far more powerful. The Lord wants you to ask questions and search for truth. Dive into the scriptures and the writings of the prophets and ask your questions in humble prayer. He will guide you.

You can lean on The Proclamation to teach you righteous principles, derived from eternal truths, that will guide your choices about earthly and eternal families. However, you are in charge of understanding those principles and making your own decisions. Elder Renlund makes this important distinction, “Our Heavenly Father’s goal in parenting is not to have His children do what is right; it is to have His children choose to do what is right and ultimately become like Him. If He simply wanted us to be obedient, He would use immediate rewards and punishments to influence our behaviors. But God is not interested in His children just becoming trained and obedient ‘pets’… No, God wants His children to grow up spiritually and join Him in the family business.”¹⁷ The teachings and principles of Jesus Christ are always most impactful when you choose to follow Him with all your might, mind, and strength (Moroni 10:32).

How Do I Apply the Principles of the Proclamation?

The Proclamation amplifies these simple, profound truths: as a child of Heavenly Parents, you are sacred, family is sacred, and new life is sacred. Knowing your divine origin and worth changes how you see yourself and others. Family becomes a sacred laboratory where love and faith can begin to grow and flourish. The eternal perspective of who you are and who you can become will motivate you to live the Proclamation’s principles as best you can, even when things are hard. You may not quickly reach the ultimate goals you set for yourself, but you can keep moving in the right direction. If the duties and responsibilities in the Proclamation feel overwhelming, remember you do not need to do them all at once. Listen for what the Spirit is prompting you to learn about yourself, your family, and your divine destiny, and focus on that.

I invite you to engage with the language of the Proclamation and seek revelation from the Spirit to understand and live the principles it teaches. As you do, you will discover the wonderful things God has prepared for your beautifully unique, eternal journey.

The Family Proclamation: Distilling Principles

As you explore the Proclamation, it can help to group the principles by theme. Below, I selected specific sections from the Proclamation that I found useful to study and supplemented them with recent prophetic teachings to enhance my understanding. This is just one way to view the Proclamation. Let’s explore the Proclamation’s truths and principles through the lens of our fundamental relationships – our individual relationship with God, the marriage relationship, and parent-child relationships.

Individual – Woman and man are the beloved son or daughter of heavenly parents created in the image of God—male and female—with a divine nature and destiny. Men, women, and children receive priesthood power and blessings by faithfully living ordinances and covenants, including the promise of an eternal family. Man and woman are equal in God’s eyes.¹⁸

Marriage – Husband and wife enter the holy order of matrimony and together receive priesthood power and blessings for themselves and their family, including eternal life.

• Being united in marriage requires a full and equal partnership, sharing responsibilities.¹⁹
• Their decisions should be made in unity and love, with full participation of both.²⁰
• The government in the family follows the patriarchal pattern, which entails that wives and husbands are accountable directly to God for fulfillment of their sacred responsibilities in the family. These special responsibilities do not imply hierarchy and exclude any abuse or improper use of authority. There is no president and vice president in the family.²¹
• The teachings of Jesus Christ lead to happiness and success in family life.

Parental – Mother and father are commanded to create life but only within the bonds of marriage. Husbands and wives have the solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and their children. Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens.

• Fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Parents work in unity to fulfill these responsibilities.²²
• Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In unity with her husband, a mother helps her family. Together, they foster an environment of love in the family.²³
• In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. They should prayerfully counsel together and with the Lord.²⁴
• Circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation, and extended families should lend support when needed.

After studying the truths and principles that guide our individual, marriage, and parental relationships, do you understand them better? What did you discover about how these principles can apply to you? When you connect the responsibilities directly to the eternal truths, you can begin to see how these principles are meant to guide your decisions rather than enumerate rules to follow. This type of study can give you a fuller picture of why families are so important and how to apply the principles to benefit your life.

How Do I Make Marriage and Family a Full and Equal Partnership?

The ordinances and covenants you make in the temple, both the endowment and the marriage sealing, are vertically and horizontally integrated, uniting you to God and to your spouse in love and godly power. Because of this covenant relationship, husband and wife lead and guide the family together in full and equal partnership with each other and with the Lord.²⁵ As part of this commitment, Christ invites spouses and parents to sacrifice and consecrate themselves to a shared family stewardship.

What can we learn from the Proclamation about the responsibilities specifically assigned to fathers and mothers? Elder Soares explains that mothers and fathers should view their responsibilities as “opportunities, not exclusive limitations,” and recognize that nurturing and presiding are “interrelated and overlapping responsibilities.”²⁶ In a family, loving and caring for each other is never done alone. You are truly better together. Every family is a unique combination of people, personalities, desires, weaknesses, and strengths. Your family benefits from mobilizing your collective resources in the loving care of one another. Mutual support and collaboration nurture growth and connection for everyone involved.

Family is often an “all hands on deck” situation. Help may come from extended family, friends, church members, mentors, schools, and communities. Sometimes, resources are thin and support is scarce, which can be discouraging, but Elder Christofferson reassures you, “Much that is good, much that is essential–even sometimes all that is necessary for now–can be achieved in less than ideal circumstances.”²⁷  In reality, nobody has ideal circumstances or an ideal family. Imperfection is the condition and purpose of mortality. Only through Jesus Christ are we, eventually, made perfect.²⁸

This statement by Elder Holland beautifully describes how our hope in Jesus Christ, however dim, can carry us through the difficulties of family relationships, “So when our backs are to the wall and, as the hymn says, ‘other helpers fail and comforts flee,’ among our most indispensable virtues will be this precious gift of hope linked inextricably to our faith in God and our charity to others.”²⁹

Years ago, my husband and I reached a point in our family when it felt like our backs were to the wall and we had to act in faith to consecrate our efforts, in full and equal partnership, for our family stewardship. We had a young child, a toddler, and a newborn. I wasn’t working, and my husband’s income didn’t cover our expenses, even though he traveled most of the week. The demands of my children overwhelmed me, and everything felt like too much to handle. One night, after a long day for both of us, everything boiled over. Following a heated argument, I broke down in tears, pleading for help. To my surprise, my husband echoed my feelings, saying, “I can’t do this anymore; I need help too.” In that moment, we both realized we had reached our breaking points and felt compassion for each other. We understood we couldn’t give any more than we were already giving, yet we decided to keep going because we believed in our family.

In the days that followed, I spent a lot of time seeking reassurance from the Lord, hoping that our sacrifices would prove worthwhile. We didn’t regret having our three precious children; we simply felt overwhelmed and disappointed by the challenging reality we faced. I worked to make sense of the difficulties and adversities we encountered. Piece by piece, I discovered the beautiful, eternal things God had in store for our struggling family. My worries and challenges persisted, but rays of light and truth began to enlighten my perspective—an understanding of my covenants and hope in the Lord’s promises. My husband and I continued to give our all, doing our best with faith and hope that the Lord would support us and restore our righteous desires for our children and for each other.

Will God Keep His Promises?

Amid the mortal tangle and struggle, you can trust that the Lord will keep His promises to you. As you rely on His words, hope brightens (D&C 50:24). He will guide you as you humbly try to forge loving family relationships. Like Sara, who yearned for a child, you can “judge him faithful who has promised” and come to know that His promises are sure (Hebrews 11:11). When fear and pain surround so many families, the Lord asks you to “exercise a particle of faith” or even just a “desire to believe” in your own divine potential (Alma 32:27). When your efforts feel wasted, Christ promises to restore the lost and mangled pieces of your life to their “proper and perfect frame” (Alma 40:23). Offer your “two mites” of righteous desire and effort, and the Savior will redeem and restore all that He has promised.³⁰ He will give you His peace and make you whole and complete.

You are the loving fulfillment of your Heavenly Parents’ eternal procreative power. Amazingly, you also have the inherent, divine nature “to create a human body…a genetically and spiritually unique being never seen before…and never to be duplicated again…a child, your child–with eyes and ears and fingers and toes and a future of unspeakable grandeur.”³¹ As you press forward, look to Christ, trusting and hoping that the words He has revealed to you about your eternal family are true. As Elder Holland shared, “We all need to believe that what we desire in righteousness can someday, some way, somehow yet be ours.”³²

Here are some questions to help you reflect on the Proclamation’s principles:

• How does knowing you are a child of Heavenly Parents impact your views of family?
• How can the duties and responsibilities be viewed as principles rather than rules? How does that change things?
• How can temple covenants enhance your understanding of a parent’s duties and responsibilities?
• How can the assignments, responsibilities, and obligations of the Proclamation be viewed in light of the priesthood power husbands and wives share?
• How does the principle of full and equal partnership guide your decisions?
• How does counseling together improve the success of a family?
• What can you each contribute to your family? What burdens do you each bear?
• How do the teachings of Jesus Christ improve your family relationships?
• What helpful insights have apostles and general officers provided?

Footnotes

¹ The Family: A Proclamation to the World. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

² Isaiah 30:17. See also Gordon B. Hinckley, “An Ensign to the Nations, a Light to the World,” Ensign Nov. 2003.

³ Russell M. Nelson, “Choices for Eternity,” Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults, May 15, 2022.

⁴ David A. Bednar, “A Welding Link,” Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults, Sept. 10, 2017.

⁵ See Hebrews 11:40, JST. “God having provided some better things for them through their sufferings, for without sufferings they could not be made perfect.”

⁶ Sharon Eubank, “A Letter to a Single Sister,” Ensign, Oct. 2019.

⁷ Russell M. Nelson, “Pure Truth, Pure Doctrine, and Pure Revelation,” Liahona, Nov. 2021; see also D&C 123:12.

⁸ Nelson, Nov. 2021.

⁹ David A. Bednar, “Seek Learning by Faith,” Ensign, Sept. 2007.

¹⁰ David A. Bednar, “The Principles of My Gospel,” Liahona, May 2021.

¹¹ See Teaching of Presidents: Joseph Smith, 2007, 284.

¹² Richard G. Scott, “Acquiring Spiritual Knowledge,” Ensign, Nov. 1993.

¹³ John C. Pingree Jr., “Eternal Truth,” Liahona, Nov. 2023.

¹⁴ J. Reuben Clark, “The Charted Course of Church Education,” 1938 address.

¹⁵ Bednar, Sept. 2007.

¹⁶ Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Jesus Christ is the Strength of Youth,” Liahona, Nov. 2022.

¹⁷ Dale G. Renlund, “Choose You This Day,” Ensign, Nov. 2018.

¹⁸ General Handbook 3.5, 3.6, 2.1; Ulisses S. Soares, “In Partnership with the Lord,” Liahona, Nov. 2022.

¹⁹ General Handbook 2.1.2.

²⁰ General Handbook 2.1.2.

²¹ Soares, Nov. 2022.

²² Handbook 2.1.3.

²³ Handbook 2.1.3.

²⁴ Handbook 2.1.3.

²⁵ Soares, Nov. 2022.

²⁶ See Soares, Nov. 2022. “One person may have a responsibility for something but may not be the only one doing it. When loving parents well understand these two major responsibilities, they will strive together to protect and care for the physical and emotional well-being of their children.”

²⁷ D. Todd Christofferson, “Why Marriage, Why Family,” Ensign, May 2015. “No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children.”

²⁸ Jeffrey R. Holland, “Be Ye Therefore Perfect–Eventually,” Ensign, Nov. 2017.

²⁹ Jeffrey R. Holland, “A Perfect Brightness of Hope,” Ensign, May 2020.

³⁰ See Mark 12:41-44

³¹ Jeffrey R. Holland “Personal Purity,” Ensign, Nov. 1998, emphasis added.

³² Holland, May 2020.