Wow, this was such great advice for so many of us! I especially liked the phrase about our happiness not being dependent on our children's lives going smoothly. It is hard to cut the apron strings sometimes, and even harder to learn to be happy when our kids are struggling. It isn't that we shouldn't care or never be concerned. But it is easy to make the mistake of getting bogged down in our kid's lives and choices. The Lord sent them here to learn and experience their own path. We cannot walk it for them. We are called upon to love our children, but we will soon be burned out if we try to carry their burdens along with our own. Bearing their burdens means to love, encourage and give appropriate help WHEN ASKED. It does not being unhappy every time they are unhappy. I cannot bleed every time my child cuts themselves.
DarylMay 30, 2025
Maybe you could suggest that your daughter talk to a stepparent so she can better prepare herself for her wonderful new family. At 40 I married a man with three children (8,10,12). It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I was independent, invested in my career, and treasured my privacy. My mother never doubted me and embraced her new grandchildren. We dealt with shared custody, homes with different rules, financial disagreements with the ex etc. Each day brought a new and unexpected challenge. But we made it. It has been 35 years. My adult step children are my best friends.
HelenCMay 30, 2025
Well said. It’s still hard to watch them make choices that may bring them misery but as my middle son once told me, “I know I’m making mistakes but at least you know they’re MY mistakes.” The hardest part? Not WORRYING about them. That just makes two people miserable. When I find myself doing it I get on my knees. We can always pray for them. Father knows why He’s doing and His Son’s Atonement truly does have the power to save in ways we cannot imagine.
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MaryannJune 2, 2025
Wow, this was such great advice for so many of us! I especially liked the phrase about our happiness not being dependent on our children's lives going smoothly. It is hard to cut the apron strings sometimes, and even harder to learn to be happy when our kids are struggling. It isn't that we shouldn't care or never be concerned. But it is easy to make the mistake of getting bogged down in our kid's lives and choices. The Lord sent them here to learn and experience their own path. We cannot walk it for them. We are called upon to love our children, but we will soon be burned out if we try to carry their burdens along with our own. Bearing their burdens means to love, encourage and give appropriate help WHEN ASKED. It does not being unhappy every time they are unhappy. I cannot bleed every time my child cuts themselves.
DarylMay 30, 2025
Maybe you could suggest that your daughter talk to a stepparent so she can better prepare herself for her wonderful new family. At 40 I married a man with three children (8,10,12). It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I was independent, invested in my career, and treasured my privacy. My mother never doubted me and embraced her new grandchildren. We dealt with shared custody, homes with different rules, financial disagreements with the ex etc. Each day brought a new and unexpected challenge. But we made it. It has been 35 years. My adult step children are my best friends.
HelenCMay 30, 2025
Well said. It’s still hard to watch them make choices that may bring them misery but as my middle son once told me, “I know I’m making mistakes but at least you know they’re MY mistakes.” The hardest part? Not WORRYING about them. That just makes two people miserable. When I find myself doing it I get on my knees. We can always pray for them. Father knows why He’s doing and His Son’s Atonement truly does have the power to save in ways we cannot imagine.
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