Interesting... it doesn't apply to just the first Sunday, some people don't remember who they've ben introduced to, there are always more names than the memory. I travel for my job, attended a ward for 15 months before I finally gave up and admitted to myself and them that I was just a name on a list, and others assumed I had no time for activites in the ward nor the ability to hold a calling. I was tired of being a name on a list, home teaching and VT were non-existent, and eventually sitting by myself with only my son beside me and constantly trying to fit in and participate became more of a burden than the comfort of meetings, lessons, or any spirit that might be present. Being at the window watching the party and not feeling like you are welcome makes for very lonely Sundays, and a buildup of a lot of frustration that does not make a home a happy one.
JenniferJanuary 7, 2014
Deborah, I read your comment a few days ago and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Please don't give up on your ward. They need you. They need people with your sensitivities and heart. I went through a very similar experience with illness and then feeling that my ward didn't even notice I was gone. Please, please call your Bishop, Relief Society President and your visiting teachers today and tell them that you need to feel needed. I did this and am so glad I did. I, too, was ready to not come back to our church. But we're all just human beings, and we do mess up, and we don't always notice when someone needs help. Please, Deborah, we need you in our church...give your ward a chance, and reach out today to your ward leaders, and don't stop until you get the help and support you need. The very lessons you are learning right now will give you the sensitivity and perceptiveness to reach out and help others who may feel neglected, once you are back on your feet. Much love, A Fellow Sister Who's Been Where You Are And So Glad I Stayed. P.S. You are loved.
CandaceJanuary 1, 2014
I am saddened by this story. Fellowshiping is a two way proposition. In my opinion, when entering a situation like this is the wrong time to be so quick to choose to be distressed. Smile, be quick to start a conversation with the first person who looks your way. Ask the nearest Mother what crafts the children are making and what they represent. Remember the people already in the room are understandably wondering about who you are and what your interests are. It's about breaking through initial reservations both people are feeling.
DeborahDecember 31, 2013
I wish I had a feel good story, but I don't. Due to illness, I have not been to Church in over 6 months. No one has missed me, called, or even shown concern that I am not there. My husband and I will be attending a different church when I am able to return. Apparently we aren't important enough to our Ward.
Erin StoutDecember 31, 2013
The first time my husband went to church, he pulled into the church parking lot on his Harley, wearing jeans and a black leather jacket. He was met by a man in a suit who admired his "scooter", put his arm around his shoulder, and walked into the building with him. That was almost 40 years ago, but it obviously made a lasting impression!
Janet GronemanDecember 31, 2013
Thank you for a wonderful reminder. I have four children who have not been welcomed by "should-be" friends at church, and have found welcome in other churches, which is heartbreaking. Someday I hope the love of our family will bring them back, but in the meantime, thanks to you, I will be more aware of those who need a friendly welcome, or who may have an aching heart.
AnneDecember 31, 2013
I was one who had never been to a Latter Day Saint ward, but when we moved to a new area decided to try. Some of my good cyber friends are Mormon. Thankfully and I know through the Lord's intervention, a kind older lady took me under her wing and sat with me, talked with me, introduced me around. I met with the missionaries, was baptized and have been a happy member for over 2 years. I know if I was not made welcome, I would never have come back and never would have received the blessings of belonging to my wonderful ward!
MandiDecember 31, 2013
Beautifully written. Thank you for talking about a problem that can be so easily remedied.
Bonnie CaldwellDecember 31, 2013
Excellent article. My first Sunday in a new ward, I was waiting for the girl next to me to say hi only to find out she was an investigator and it was her first Sunday in our Church. There is no reason to wait to be greeted!
Comments | Return to Story
MelanyFebruary 17, 2014
Interesting... it doesn't apply to just the first Sunday, some people don't remember who they've ben introduced to, there are always more names than the memory. I travel for my job, attended a ward for 15 months before I finally gave up and admitted to myself and them that I was just a name on a list, and others assumed I had no time for activites in the ward nor the ability to hold a calling. I was tired of being a name on a list, home teaching and VT were non-existent, and eventually sitting by myself with only my son beside me and constantly trying to fit in and participate became more of a burden than the comfort of meetings, lessons, or any spirit that might be present. Being at the window watching the party and not feeling like you are welcome makes for very lonely Sundays, and a buildup of a lot of frustration that does not make a home a happy one.
JenniferJanuary 7, 2014
Deborah, I read your comment a few days ago and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Please don't give up on your ward. They need you. They need people with your sensitivities and heart. I went through a very similar experience with illness and then feeling that my ward didn't even notice I was gone. Please, please call your Bishop, Relief Society President and your visiting teachers today and tell them that you need to feel needed. I did this and am so glad I did. I, too, was ready to not come back to our church. But we're all just human beings, and we do mess up, and we don't always notice when someone needs help. Please, Deborah, we need you in our church...give your ward a chance, and reach out today to your ward leaders, and don't stop until you get the help and support you need. The very lessons you are learning right now will give you the sensitivity and perceptiveness to reach out and help others who may feel neglected, once you are back on your feet. Much love, A Fellow Sister Who's Been Where You Are And So Glad I Stayed. P.S. You are loved.
CandaceJanuary 1, 2014
I am saddened by this story. Fellowshiping is a two way proposition. In my opinion, when entering a situation like this is the wrong time to be so quick to choose to be distressed. Smile, be quick to start a conversation with the first person who looks your way. Ask the nearest Mother what crafts the children are making and what they represent. Remember the people already in the room are understandably wondering about who you are and what your interests are. It's about breaking through initial reservations both people are feeling.
DeborahDecember 31, 2013
I wish I had a feel good story, but I don't. Due to illness, I have not been to Church in over 6 months. No one has missed me, called, or even shown concern that I am not there. My husband and I will be attending a different church when I am able to return. Apparently we aren't important enough to our Ward.
Erin StoutDecember 31, 2013
The first time my husband went to church, he pulled into the church parking lot on his Harley, wearing jeans and a black leather jacket. He was met by a man in a suit who admired his "scooter", put his arm around his shoulder, and walked into the building with him. That was almost 40 years ago, but it obviously made a lasting impression!
Janet GronemanDecember 31, 2013
Thank you for a wonderful reminder. I have four children who have not been welcomed by "should-be" friends at church, and have found welcome in other churches, which is heartbreaking. Someday I hope the love of our family will bring them back, but in the meantime, thanks to you, I will be more aware of those who need a friendly welcome, or who may have an aching heart.
AnneDecember 31, 2013
I was one who had never been to a Latter Day Saint ward, but when we moved to a new area decided to try. Some of my good cyber friends are Mormon. Thankfully and I know through the Lord's intervention, a kind older lady took me under her wing and sat with me, talked with me, introduced me around. I met with the missionaries, was baptized and have been a happy member for over 2 years. I know if I was not made welcome, I would never have come back and never would have received the blessings of belonging to my wonderful ward!
MandiDecember 31, 2013
Beautifully written. Thank you for talking about a problem that can be so easily remedied.
Bonnie CaldwellDecember 31, 2013
Excellent article. My first Sunday in a new ward, I was waiting for the girl next to me to say hi only to find out she was an investigator and it was her first Sunday in our Church. There is no reason to wait to be greeted!
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