Before we get into this month’s column, I would like to thank all of you who responded to our article last month, “Confronting Addiction in the LDS Community.” I was deeply touched and, as both a recovering addict myself, and as the daughter, wife, mother and friend of others still caught in the bondage of addiction, I shed tears of empathy for you.
I also shed a few tears of joy at the positive, hope-filled letters from those who are participating in an LDS 12-Step based recovery group. It is so wonderful to hear of the miracles that are happening in your lives!
Based on the letters I received, I have been able to envision topics for the next several columns. Many letters came from people asking how they could best help an addicted loved one as well as how to deal with the isolation they feel from living in a culture that has such high expectations about being part of “a happy family.” Other letters came from those just recognizing that “addiction” might be the most accurate word to use to describe behaviors they want to control, but instead are being controlled by.
Their alarm, and in some cases, despair, is equally as genuine and heart-deep as that of the family members. They too, for the most part, are living in secrecy and shame.
As I sought the counsel of the Lord as to which direction to take this month’s column, it became plain to me that the most important message I could share would be the good news that there is an ever-growing wave of humble honesty about addiction in the LDS community. And that combination of humility and honesty is piercing the adversary’s armor of shame-filled secrecy as LDS people – addicts and family members alike – are coming together in groups to study and apply the LDS version of the 12-Step program.
In these meetings, Latter-day Saints – active, less active, and even non-members – are all finding a place where there is a willingness to bear one another’s burdens in a spirit of compassionate support and empathetic understanding, and where recovery in and through the Atonement of Christ is being experienced.
The doctrines of the gospel that harmonize and validate each of the 12 Steps are being studied and applied, and participants are finding the grace of Christ flowing into their lives as they face their challenges. Elder Boyd K. Packer’s prophetic statement is being fulfilled in the lives of those who are returning consistently to these meetings: “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.” 1
And so, today, we’re going to review some history of the 12-Step addiction recovery movement growing in the midst of the Saints. But first let me share a few thoughts about our need to face the shame-filled secrecy that Satan uses to isolate us from the fellowship and support of each other.
It Is So Important to Not Let Addiction Isolate You in Shame
One father who wrote this month shared how hard it was for him and his wife to deal with the isolation they felt from having a son addicted to drugs. “It has been a hard road for my wife and me. There are good people in the Church who have never experienced this kind of pain and so they have a hard time relating to us. Without the knowledge that other LDS families were enduring similar trials, it would have been difficult to stay active in the Church.”
I think our adversary, Satan, rejoices when he can use shame to separate and divide us from each other. We place such a high value on trying to be perfect and be a light to the world as members of the Lord’s true Church, that we lose touch with the fact that we are still mortal and subject to the imperfections and frailties of mortality. I know from my own experience that our Heavenly Father and our Savior know our weaknesses and have no desire to shame us for them, but rather to rescue us from them. To have challenges – even addictions – does not, in any way, mean that we have failed as Church members or as family members. Nor does it mean the Church is not all that it claims to be.
The Church is true. It is the restored Church of Jesus Christ and it is not harmed by our being under attack by addiction. Addiction is, I believe, in all its forms, Satan’s last great effort to destroy our Father’s purposes. In fact, we bring the power of the gospel and the priesthood to bear on Satan’s influences when we admit our need for support.
Shame-filled secrecy is the Liar’s armor against the power of truth to set us free. In Doctrine and Covenants 123:13-15, we find these words that can so appropriately be likened to the power of honesty to cleanse our individual hearts and thus strengthen the Church itself:
Therefore, that we should waste and wear out our lives in bringing to light all the hidden things of darkness, wherein we know them; and they are truly manifest from heaven –
These should then be attended to with great earnestness.
Let no man count them as small things; for there is much which lieth in futurity, pertaining to the saints, which depends upon these things.
Some History: Awareness among the Saints of the Value of the Twelve Steps
It’s probably impossible to identify just where and when the first awareness of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and its amazing Twelve Step program occurred in the LDS Church, but (at least among the General Authorities of the Church) one of the first documented instances is with Elder Matthew Cowley, who served as an member of the Quorum of the Twelve from 1945 to 1953. Elder Cowley frequently praised AA for its influence in recovering men and women from alcoholism, as documented by this quote from Matthew Cowley: Man of Faith:
On many occasions where he went as an Apostle to conduct quarterly stake conferences he arranged meetings with the [local] AA group. On one occasion, after such a session held between conference meetings he said, “The most inspirational meeting of that conference was with those sixty men and women who had been confirmed alcoholics but who had turned their lives back to God again and who had learned how to repent and purge from their lives all the assorted things which came to them from the use of alcohol … They bring into my heart a spirit of humility and a spirit of sincerity. 2
Over the decades since those earliest years, unknown numbers of Latter-day Saints have participated in one or more of the many addiction recovery groups that began with AA and Alanon – groups such as Overeaters Anonymous (OA), Gamblers Anonymous (GA), Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), and Codependents Anonymous, (CoDA). One thing that most of these church members recognized with astonishment and joy was how harmonious the concepts in the 12 Steps were with the principles of the gospel.
Localized LDS Groups Receive Permission to Adapt the 12 Steps
By the early 1990s, several LDS groups had approached the AA World Service Office and requested permission to use the 12 Steps in drug and alcohol recovery efforts aimed specifically at helping LDS people overcome substance abuse.
In every case, AA graciously consented.
Meanwhile, in Orem , Utah , another group of active Latter-day Saints involved in several local 12-Step programs began to meet to study how the Book of Mormon validated and enhanced their understanding of the steps. This particular group of Latter-day Saints was not focusing their recovery efforts on substance abuse, but rather on addictions with less social stigma – such as unhealthy eating, over-spending, and other behaviors. Still, they recognized that all addictions require the same solution – opening up a channel between our hearts and the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ who stands at the heart of our Heavenly Father’s plan to redeem and recover us.
Thus, in 1991, the fellowship of Heart t’ Heart was registered as a non-profit organization and the book, He Did Deliver Me from Bondage was adopted as its foundational study guide. Also, at that time, Heart t’ Heart ‘s unique version of the 12 Steps, which reflect Book of Mormon language and scriptural references were submitted to the World Service Office of AA and received their wholehearted approval. This scriptural adaptation of the 12 Steps can be found by clicking here.
Contributing to the Development of the LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program
At approximately the same time that Heart t’ Heart was getting started in the Utah Valley area, LDS Social Services (now known as LDS Family Services) had also started forming groups in the Salt Lake Valley area, in order to help LDS members addicted specifically to drugs and alcohol. At first there was little communication between the LDS Social Services program and Heart t’ Heart . E ventually the leadership of LDS Social Services became aware of He Did Deliver Me from Bondage , and in 1995 they approached me, as author, and received permission to use the book in their program.
Over the next ten years, Heart t’ Heart and the LDS Family Services pilot program used the same study guide and the same version of the 12 Steps – the ones based on the Book of Mormon’s precepts and language – and both fellowships continued to flourish, side by side, especially in areas where there were large LDS populations.
As the LDS Family Services pilot program began to grow rapidly, it became obvious that it was addressing a huge need among Church members. Family members of the original drug and alcohol addicts also began to express a need for support, not only in dealing with the stress of living with their addicted loved one, but also in dealing with their own addictions other than drugs and alcohol.
At this point, members of Heart t’ Heart ‘s General Service Board were invited to meet with leaders of the LDS Family Services program at their headquarters in Salt Lake City to share their experience in LDS recovery work. During these meetings, the Heart t’ Heart leaders did all they could to assist and facilitate Family Services’ efforts to create a centralized, standardized program that could eventually be offered Churchwide.
Of course it was understood by all, that when the new Addiction Recovery Program became more than a pilot program, it would need to have a study guide published by the Church itself. Thus, early in 2003, a committee of about a dozen LDS members in recovery from various addictions (including several members of Heart t’ Heart ) began working together under the guidance of Family Services leadership to write the new study guide.
After months of intensive effort and final approval by the correlation committee and priesthood leaders, the new guide was officially introduced in 2005. In the mere four years since its publication, it has been printed in more than a dozen languages and is continuing the work of bringing the 12 Steps and their powerful formula for addiction recovery to Church members throughout the world.
Because it is an official publication of the Church, the guide, entitled A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing can be purchased through Church Distribution outlets. A PDF version of it can also be downloaded by clicking here.
How You Can Connect With Other LDS Members Who Are Confronting Addiction
On the same web-page as the PDF file of the guide, there is also a link to the most current list of LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meetings. These meetings are gradually spreading throughout the Church and providing a miraculous atmosphere where LDS members can come together in honest acknowledgement of addiction’s toll in their lives and find support in overcoming its hold on them and their family members.
If, when you check that list, you find there isn’t a meeting in your area, there are two things you can still do. First, you can bring the Addiction Recovery Program to the attention of your priesthood leader – bishop, branch president or stake president. Be honest with him. Let him know that you need this specialized, intensive application of true principles to overcome your struggle with addiction – whether in your own life or your loved one’s life. At this point your local leader can contact LDS Family Services for guidance in starting a group.
Next, while you are waiting for an Addiction Recovery Program meeting to get organized and established in your area, you can still begin to gather with other faithful LDS members working on recovery from addition by connecting with the online presence of Heart t’ Heart . Heart t’ Heart offers online recovery meetings every day of the week, so that LDS members and friends, wherever they live, can find long-distance support in studying and applying the principles in the 12 Steps.
Heart t’ Heart can be found at www.heart-t-heart.org. In the 18 years it has been in existence, Heart t’ Heart has remained in positive esteem by LDS Family Services general leadership, and continues, as it always has, to offer a complementary and supportive program as a voluntary “LDS Community Resource.” Heart t’ Heart’s mission statement is expressed plainly in the banner on its home page: “Teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ.” 3
The Blessing of an Addiction Recovery Movement in the LDS Community
Through the efforts of both the ARP groups and Heart t’ Heart, lives which many thought were lost to addictive behaviors and substances are being recovered, redeemed, and restored to sanity and serenity. I heard from one young man this month who wrote to report: “I attend an ARP group and, although I’m still on the beginning steps, it has already opened my eyes, strengthened my knees, and replenished the previously drying wells of hope that I can be free of my addiction . I recommend the program to anyone who will listen.”
Another brother – a missionary in the ARP program in an eastern state, shared the miracles they are seeing in their area, where in one year from its establishment, the ARP meetings have grown from 1 meeting to 30, and they have seen non-members come for refuge and stay to be baptized. What joy this brings to my heart! It fulfills the vision the Lord gave me, over 20 years ago ? that if the Church could ever have a 12-Step program, these twelve true principles would act as a bridge over which others could find a way into the fullness of our Savior’s gospel.
Meanwhile, inactive members are finding in ARP and Heart t’ Heart meetings a place to meet together with active church members who are also there to admit their own human frailties and imperfections. It is an atmosphere filled with the Spirit and even the very presence of the Savior through His own Light as He continues to administer His saving grace to the same sort of people He sought out in his mortal ministry ? the “ragamuffins,” those who could not pretend to save themselves from their diseases or from their “dis-ease” – lack of peace.
In some areas where ARP has been established, family member support groups have also been formed, similar to the generic Ala-non and S-anon programs. Meanwhile, in Heart t’ Heart and in some ARP groups, addicts and family members actually meet together.
It is a most amazing miracle to see how, when the Saints can exercise enough desire to find peace and to come together seeking help, the discussion of their peers centered on these true principles and on the Savior’s love, facilitates an atmosphere where they are very likely to finally sit still and listen to each others’ hearts. Families, as well as individuals have been saved in the midst of the humble honesty of 12-Step meetings.
Twelve Steps: Twelve Principles for Applying the Atonement Here and Now
One person who wrote shared the confusion she felt because, despite her great love for the Savior and His Atonement, she could not resist the temptation to indulge in her addictive behavior.
Here again, my heart is filled with empathy and compassion for this dear sister. Like her, I also spent many years with a deep testimony of the Savior and His atoning sacrifice for me, but with no idea how to access the power of His Atonement to purify my heart and end my addictive behaviors. That’s what the true principles in the Twelve Steps did for me and are doing for so many other church members today. They teach a person how to bring their weaknesses – even weaknesses that have developed into addictions – to the Savior and humble themselves before Him, so that He can offer them the power of His Atonement here and now.
Studying and internalizing these twelve concepts can bring the power of the Savior’s grace – the power to maintain a good work 4 – to bear on a person’s specific challenges. Even those who have no behavior they consider an addiction have found amazing insights into developing a deeper, personal relationship with Heavenly Father, the Savior, and the Holy Spirit, as they’ve studied these “steps.”
I have to admit that I had to chuckle when I read one email I received from a sister who wrote that she is a “list” person. She went on, “I like to do #1, and then go on to #2 …” and then she added, “I realize you probably can’t give us a list of how to change our spiritual selves and become as the Lord would have us be, but I wish you could!” Dear Sister, I am excited to report I can! On this “list,” there are 12 steps to take that can guide us to become “as the Lord would have us be.”
Until Next Time
Well, it seems we have come to the end of our time together this month. I pray with all my heart that you will all find solace and hope in the fact that Heavenly Father has heard the cries of your hearts for help in dealing with these “self-defeating/destructive choices” (addictions) you or a loved one struggle with.
There is cause for great hope and for lifting up your hearts. Meanwhile, let me invite you, again, to check out the links to ARP and to Heart t’ Heart and see firsthand what great things the Lord is doing in the midst of the Saints. Truly, through these means He is offering us the ability to become as one with Him and have our weaknesses turned to strengths.
P.S. I would like to post a formal apology to the good brother who called my attention to a glitch in last month’s article. In the section, “A Good Working Definition of Addiction,” in the paragraph just below the definition, I listed some common forms of addiction found in our LDS culture, and started with these words, “Use of prescription drugs …” I hope that most of you, kind readers, realized that I meant “Abuse of prescription drugs.” Obviously, the responsible and appropriate use of prescription drugs would in no way amount to an addiction.
Notes
1 Elder Boyd K. Packer, Ensign , November 1986, 16.
2 Smith, Henry A., Matthew Cowley: Man of Faith , 1954, Bookcraft, p. 151.
3 Alma 37:33
4 LDS Bible Dictionary, p. 697.
