Line upon Line

A few days ago, the January 2014 Ensign came in the mail, and I found a moment to open it to President Uchtdorf’s First Presidency message. Immediately, my eyes were led straight to the summary statement inset on page 5:

President Uchtdorf explained that when we fail to reach our goals, “we can be empowered . . . Even though we might fall short of our finish line, just continuing the journey will make us greater than we were before.”

As I sit here on this Christmas morning, in the stillness of a grandma’s home where no children are waiting for the dawn, my heart and mind are filled with the awareness that the greatest Gift of Christmas is this very assurance: That you and I can forgive and forget imperfection and “keep on, keeping on.” To not give up on yourself, because you can be absolutely certain God won’t ever give up on you. How do I know that? How can I be so sure? Because of these words, the Savior’s own words:

“Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.” (D&C 50:41-42).

Because of these words, “I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you” (John 14:18). Now that is one amazing gift of (as in from) the Holy Ghost: that in desiring the Holy Ghost above all other possible blessings or gifts, we will also find ourselves receiving the personal attendance of the Savior Himself. (See 3 Nephi 19:9-30.) Those are the verses where the people express that what they most desire is the gift of the Holy Ghost, and they kneel down and pray to the Father in the Name of Christ, and the next thing they know Jesus Himself is present with them, in their “midst.”

Do you know, yet, that through the Gift of the Holy Ghost, Jesus can be in your “midst” (your heart) also?

Do you know yet that through the Gift of the Holy Ghost, you can address and receive the attention and abiding presence of both the Father and His Son?

Do you know that you don’t have to be perfect or even have perfect faith to have the Savior show you mercy and use His grace to bless you and change your heart? Like He did for the father in Mark 9. You remember him, don’t you? He came to the Savior with tears drenching his face and admitted imperfect belief. “Lord, I believe [in part]. Help Thou my unbelief.” Please make allowance for my weakness and fill in the rest. The man’s words remind me of the phrase from the hymn, “Where Can I Turn for Peace?,” . . . “He answers privately, Reaches my reaching . . .”

Do you remember what the Savior did in the face of this man’s honest imperfection? Well, one thing you can be sure He didn’t do. He didn’t reject the man. Exactly the opposite, in fact: He had mercy on him and straightway cast out the evil spirit that was causing the man’s son to harm himself.

And then there were the sisters of Lazareth, Martha and Mary, in whose home the Savior had so often found refuge and faith. Then came the day when their faith wavered, and He wept as they questioned Him, almost chided Him for not coming sooner to save Lazareth from death. He could have as easily asked them as He had once asked Philip and his fellow apostles, “How long have I been with you and you still do not know me?” (See John 14:9.)

But who could blame Mary and Martha, or Philip either, for that matter? Who had ever heard of a man like this man-one born with the power to save not only Himself, but all of us from death-no matter how long we have been dead? Never before in the history of mankind, and never since, has such a man been born. Though He told them over and over that He was God, endowed with all the authority and power of His Father to the point of perfect similitude, to the point of claiming for Himself the designation, the honor and reverence due a Father (John 14:9, Mosiah 15:1-3), still Mary, Martha, Philip . . . and maybe even you and I have a really hard time imagining such a thing.

Not far from where I sit on this Christmas morning, there is a young mother and her family who are valiantly facing the severest imperfection any of us will and must ever face-the impending death of her physical body. I do not know this precious woman or her family, personally, but oh, you can be sure I know them in this ultimate crucible of fear vs. faith.

And, sooner or later, we all will.

Sooner or later, no matter how caught up in giving presents or receiving presents, no matter how swamped with company or sitting alone with no one but God at the door, at the veil, willing to come in and sit with us and comfort us, we will face the real reason for “keeping Christmas.” It will be then that we will have no other “wish list,” no other hope or desire than to perceive a hand extended to us through the veil, taking our hand and claiming us as His own, ushering us beyond this mortal sphere. This is the gift of Christmas-of the Father and of our Savior to us.

And so it is that to keep coming back to Him, no matter how imperfect our life has been or even our current day has been, already-that is a resolution worth keeping-cherishing, honoring, returning to as often as we need to this coming year.

I don’t know about you, but I for one, am constantly grateful for the His assurance that while mercy cannot rob justice, it can satisfy justice (and has already in the person of Jesus Christ), and His plain declaration of His own faith in us: “As often as my people repent will I forgive them of their transgressions against me” (Mosiah 26:30).

One resolution I can keep this year-even if imperfectly-is to be one of “His people.” One who does not give up on her imperfect self, or the imperfect people she shares a home with, or the imperfect (but so very sincere) members (and even leaders) of the Lord’s perfect Church, or on her life in this temporarily imperfect world.

I learned long ago that my trials and mistakes are not something to be bitter about and ashamed of, but rather amazing opportunities to learn by my own experience where and to Whom I can turn for peace.  I constantly thank my Father in Heaven and my beloved Jesus, both, for Their never giving up on me and for helping me learn by my own experience the good from the evil, what works to bring happiness and what doesn’t.

One resolution I can keep this New Year is to thank God every day of my temporary sojourn here for the great adventure it has been. I sat through an endowment session recently and wept-and the tears are here again in this hour-in awe and amazement at the courage of Eve and of Adam to take upon themselves the long wilderness trek of mortality. And then I felt the truth that I could consider myself with the same awe and amazement-that I too, had chosen this option and volunteered (with rejoicing) for this life I’m living.

It is my prayer that we will all keep this one resolution: to never, ever forsake God’s faith in us. He will always be waiting for us at the veil, every new morning that we take some time to spend in scripture guided prayer and meditation.

My prayers are with Jeni and her family, and with us all in our imperfect circumstances, facing our own need for our Savior’s repeated assurance, “I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you.” She and her family have created a website to chronicle and share Jeni’s amazing story of courage. I feel sure that they would be glad to have you join them reverently at www.rodeoclownssupport.com/ if you feel to do so. Believe me, you will be so blessed by the record they are keeping and sharing.

P.S.

And don’t forget to keep on cherishing your own life story. Start now. If you didn’t get a new journal for Christmas, buy one. Write more. Fill up the one you have started. Don’t worry about if there’s a gap of days, weeks, months or even years since your last entry. If you have any journals from long ago, find them. Get them out, hug them to you, and thank God for the chance you have had to ever be here. Come unto Christ with your life-today, yesterday, and any tomorrows you might have the privilege to live and learn from-in your hands. Tell your truth. Be yourself. Imperfections and all. Don’t worry. He’s perfect enough for all of us to rest assured, even now, and find the courage to keep on keeping on. (See Moroni 7:3.)

Please visit the following link, https://campkesem.org/byu, Jenifer’s wish has always been to support children affected by a parent’s cancer.  Several years ago, when she was first diagnosed, she searched for help for the special emotional needs of children of adult cancer patients. It seems that those children’s needs are often overlooked. . . . The family was excited to find Camp Kesem which offers free, life-changing summer camps for children affected by a parent’s cancer. . . . Jeni appreciates any service or donations to this good cause in her name.