Belle Spafford, who served as General President of Relief Society for 29 years, told this wonderful story:
“I recall at one time when I first served in a Relief Society presidency, the…Relief Society was called upon to prepare and serve…dinner to a large group. It was the first dinner in the new meetinghouse. We found the kitchen to be insufferably small. The women were in each other’s way…one woman fainted from the heat.
“The next day, in distress over this circumstance, I went to see the bishop. I explained the situation and requested that they knock out one wall and extend the kitchen… He responded with sharpness…and he summarily dismissed me.
“On my way home, discouraged and feeling somewhat reprimanded, I called at the home of one of the older sisters, and I poured forth my troubles…She replied…, If someone came to you…and had a good but different gift in each hand, and one was power and the other influence…which gift would you choose?’
“I thought about this seriously for a moment and then I said, I think I would choose influence.’
“‘Influence is a great gift of God’…she said, Appreciate it and use it aright.”
(Belle S. Spafford, “Woman in Today’s World,” BYU Speeches of the Year, March 3, 1970, p. 5)
I love this story, and I have been blessed by it. Demands for radical changes have their place, of course, but influence, as Sister Spafford’s wise friend suggested, is often the best tool, albeit an often underrated one, which allows the user to work wonders.
It seems to me that Ammon used influence when he entered the service of King Lamoni. Ammon chose to be the king’s servant and when “a certain number of Lamanites” (Alma 17:27) scattered the flocks he was tending, Ammon used the Lamanites’ mischief as an opportunity to influence his fellows. “…Said he, I will show forth…the power which is in me, in restoring these flocks unto the king, that I may win the hearts of these my fellow-servants, that I may lead them to believe my words” (Alma 17:29).
The manner in which Ammon contended with the Lamanites, even to smiting “off as many of their arms as were lifted against him” (Alma 17:38), definitely got his colleagues’ attention! It would undoubtedly have been most memorable to watch Ammon in action, but I believe he was never better than when he exerted righteous influence in his later conversation with King Lamoni. Ammon’s expertness was much more than his ability to wield a sword. He had the gift of influence, that unique ability to make his presence and message felt.
Joseph Smith taught, “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, or by love unfeigned” (D&C 121:41). Influence can indeed be maintained by power, but it is at its most powerful when it is exercised with a loving motive.
The influential do not necessarily hold the most important positions, although they may do the most important work. They may not be the most articulate, although they may have the most important things to say. The influential are those who care enough to follow through; whose daily lives preach their sermons.
In my judgment, influence is such a mighty tool that even negative influences can affect our behavior. When I was just out of college, I lived in Boston. There I found that the daily commute could dull the senses in more ways than one. I recall one icy winter bus ride home. As it happened, a woman from my ward was on the same bus. I was delighted to see a friendly face on that interminable ride. When the seat beside her cleared, I sat beside her and we chatted.
A couple of stops later, an older woman boarded the bus, and I rose to offer her my seat, a behavior I had been taught at home by my mother. The woman murmured her thanks and tumbled into the seat. When she got off several minutes later, I gratefully sank back down. My friend turned to me and said, “You’ll do that your first few months here. But you’ll soon get over it.”
I was stunned. In her own way, my friend exerted a big influence on me, for she made me aware of a truth about some choices I might otherwise have ignored. That experience has proven to be a valuable object lesson.
Influence, that often unseen persuader, remains one of the most powerful tools in our arsenals if we use it well. As Belle Spafford said and Ammon demonstrated, influence properly exercised opens doors in ways nothing else can.
