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Over the past few years, I’ve seen a lot of public declarations from people who’ve left the LDS church. I wanted to make my own public declaration about my relationship with the LDS church. A lot of it hinges on an experience I had somewhere around April 6, 2002 (that only lasted a few moments) and the message that came with the experience.
Let me back up a bit. I was raised in a devout LDS home, the fifth child of nine. My father owns a local health food store in coastal southern California. Serving a customer base and being surrounded by people who, on the surface, seemed like they lived contradictory lifestyles from us was normal, yet I never felt any tension that’s not felt by just about anyone growing up in any faith-oriented home.
I was expected and encouraged to go to a church-owned school and a church mission. I can’t say I felt any undue pressure from those expectations. Those were things I wanted as well. My parents and community did a great job selling me on how wonderful those things would be. And they were right, they were adventurous, difficult, and wonderful! I had a lot of church responsibilities in my young men’s and youth groups, and my dad was our bishop during my older teenage years. While I felt some mild pressure to be good and righteous from these things, I never felt overwhelmed by any of it.
Our family vacations included campfires loaded with religious campfire stories and even mini-services on Sundays, when appropriate, where we took the time to keep the Sabbath day as best we could in the woods and mountains of the high Sierras of California. Some of these I still remember as extremely “spiritual” and notably emotional. We had Family Home Evening most weeks, and we had family prayers and “Scripture Time” most mornings.
To read the entire article, click here.
JudyAugust 29, 2016
Thanks Christian, for that wonderful article and for your candidness. I’ve been unofficially dis-fellowshipped by two different bishops in two different stakes because of the lies of my husband (now an X) and the lies of a ward member. As hard as it is to go through those experiences, they have taught me that Father in Heaven will be with us when we ask for His help and also that none of us on this earth is perfect no matter what our church calling. It’ s a great opportunity to practice forgiveness and continue to strive and work toward our own exaltation and life with our Savior. Your article gave me courage to continue to hold on to the end.
JanetAugust 24, 2016
Thank you for this. It came at an important time in my life. May I offer one possible explanation as to why you may have had to wait. It has been my experience that in the past church leaders rushed to get people sealed, not always taking the time necessary to determine if real repentance, if needed, had taken place or serious sin had been resolved. I personally know of two cases of adulterous spouses who were sealed to the people whom they had sex with during their marriages. And yes, this was not hidden from the bishops. The sealing seemed to be the goal, as if having it would make everything else okay. This caused great pain to the former spouses and of course the marriages failed. These sealings hardly instilled faith in the children of the new marriages. So maybe this is a response to the pendulem having swung too far one direction. I also realize how hard it can be to be misjudged by church leaders. I wish they realized what damage their careless comments have on members. I know I will never give them the automatic respect and support I once did. And maybe it was a mistake to give that kind of unquestioning support to anyone. We are all better if we counsel together.