Not long ago I saw a woman at church whose tag was sticking up from the neck of her dress. I knew she couldnāt see it, so I scooted up behind her and tucked it in. Then, not two minutes later, someone did the same thing for me!
There was no disparaging judgment here, as in the story (Matthew 7:1-5) of criticizing the mote in anotherās eye, while a beam rests in ours, but it reminded me of that parable, nonetheless. When we think someone else has a problem, we need to stop and see if we, ourselves, have that problem– or an even greater one.
What if I criticized someoneās parking, then got to my own car and found out mine was even worse? What if I corrected someoneās grammar and then used poor grammar in doing so? We all have flaws and are on shaky ground when we find fault. Itās like the ironic line, āSheās such a gossip,ā right?
In another week, those of us in the U.S. will be celebrating Thanksgiving. But what if all of us decide to turn this whole āMote and Beamā idea into an exercise in gratitude and praise? What if we look for the best in othersāeven a tiny mote of goodnessāand praise them for it? What if we try to build up everyone we meet, look for the shining traits that make the world better? Wouldnāt it be great to virtually scatter that kind of sunshine?
Instead of mentally picking people apart, what if we try to see them as God sees them, and find something to compliment? The clerk whose job must be endlessly monotonous, yet who shows incredible patience. The teacher who makes extra time for your child. The neighbor who quiets his barking dog. The boy who watches for his carpool ride, so they donāt have to honk and awaken you. Thoughtfulness is all around us, if we āhave eyes to see.ā And thereās even more opportunity to notice and commend these little actions of caring right within our own families.
Think of the times when someone noticed a small thing you did, and commended you for it. You may not even have done it consciously, certainly not to gain their favor. But didnāt it warm your heart to know they noticed? And didnāt it leave you with loving feelings toward the person who thanked you?
Iāve always told my children, āGratitude and happiness are the same thing.ā And when we find the good in others, then express appreciation for it, happiness rushes into our hearts. This doesnāt have to be the only season when we count our blessings. We can count them for the rest of our lives (Iām pretty sure we wonāt run out of numbers). By looking around for little motes of kindness, we will develop one ourselvesāthe ability to find the good in others.
Watch the music video of Hiltonās song, What Makes a Woman, from her new musical, The Best Medicine (with music by Jerry Williams). Her books are available on her website, here. Hilton currently serves as a Relief Society President.
David StapleyNovember 24, 2015
I've heard it said, and it seems to be true, that we judge others by their actions while we judge ourselves by our intentions.
LEE ALAN GROTHENovember 19, 2015
The reason we find something abhorrent in another, is many times because we consciously or unconsciously recognize that fault in our own life. We are the toughest on our own shortcomings manifested in others. Please Lord, help me to assess others wisely and choose the right while judging my self first with a repenting and receiving heart.