Line upon Line

My story of gaining a personal testimony of the Book of Mormon is a little different than many members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The very first time I read the Book of Mormon I received a strong personal witness from the Holy Ghost that the Book of Mormon was sacred scripture from God which testified of Jesus Christ.  At the time, however, I was already 31 years old and decades behind the average church member in knowledge, so I think the Holy Ghost chose not to waste additional time. I had some major catching up to do. I had grown up in what could be loosely categorized as an evangelical Christian home, and as such, I had definitely heard very strong opinions (warnings) about the Book of Mormon from those around me who, likewise, had never read the Book of Mormon.

My life had been one of vertiginous spiritual disorientation. From a very young age I was deeply troubled by many questions about spiritual and divine matters. What troubled me was not the questions I had, but my inability to be able to find satisfying answers to many of them, particularly in regards to personal salvation. My family never read the Bible together, but I began to read it on my own from the time I was able to read. These dedicated reading habits were not born of a love of the Scriptures. In reality, I read the Bible repeatedly in hopes that I would at some point understand it or even be able to identify the intended message of this book.

I knew it was about God, Israel, Jesus, Abraham, crucifixion, salvation, etc., but what was meant by these words and how they connected to me seemed ambiguous at best. How could I know if I was saved from damnation when the prescribed manual for salvation used such enigmatic vocabulary which I could not decipher? I felt a deep sense of unrest.  By the age of 8 or 9, I was on my knees begging God to communicate with me about the the state of my soul, to tell me if I was truly “saved” or not, or at least to tell me how I could be saved and how I would know it for certain. These prayers were not directly answered until over two decades later, but I never stopped trying to figure things out in the meantime.

After high school, I earned a B.A. in Psychology with emphases in Abnormal Psychology/Psychological Pathology. My plan was to continue my education in the field of psychology, earn at least a Master’s degree and eventually be a therapist. This had been my plan for as long as I could remember. Over time, however, my theological questions had acquired such prominence within my soul as to overshadow any other life goals or priorities. In a dramatic plot twist, I derailed my own personal and professional projection plans to instead pursue a Master of Arts in Theological Studies at a small Christian university. This was not a wise move in terms of career, but I was lost and I knew I was lost and I knew I could not walk the straight and narrow path until I found it.

I had read the Bible countless times without being able to understand the specifics of what God wanted me (or the rest of humanity to do). I felt as if I had about 600 pieces of a 1,000 piece puzzle. I had enough pieces to envision a very generic concept of what the completed puzzle image was supposed to be, but not enough pieces to identify any meaningful or significant details. This grieved me. It seemed to me that if there was a God who actually wanted us to be OK or to unite with him, he would communicate clearly about how to get there. He would not be ambiguous in his instructions unless he did not really want us to find him or the path to salvation.

This Master’s program would involve studying numerous and varied interpretations of the Bible throughout Christianity’s history. I hoped that expanding the scope of my hermeneutical lenses would guide me to a true and whole doctrine of God…or at least help me piece together a cohesive theological model from the positive aspects I found in these perspectives. Although the degree was academic in nature, my true motive was personal and spiritual. I pursued it with wholehearted diligence, graduated as the top student of the program with a perfect GPA and was given a position teaching undergraduate courses in Early Christianity and Ethics as soon as I graduated, which I did for a year. Yet for all of my efforts I was still at a loss. I had not found that which I was seeking. I was definitely one of those mentioned in Doctrine and Covenants 123:12 “among all sects, parties, and denominations…who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it”.

Fast forward 4-5 years. I was a single mother living in Mexico with my precious 2 year old daughter. I was teaching courses for a B.A. Program in Applied Linguistics (Discourse Analysis, Psycholinguistics and Pragmatics) as well as some ESOL classes to supplement income. My boss, with whom I discussed theological questions sometimes, invited my daughter and I to a Family Home Evening at his home with his wife and 4 young daughters. He did not refer to it as family home evening, of course, since at that time I would have had no clue what he was talking about. I also had no idea what his religious affiliation was. I don’t think I even knew enough about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to know that there were “Mormons” in Mexico.

Anyway, we had an awkward but pleasant enough Family Home Evening and before I went home he handed me a Book of Mormon and told me he thought I might really enjoy reading it. At that time I realized what his church affiliation was. As he handed me the Book of Mormon, my mind was flooded with childhood memories…of all of the times when The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints commercials would come on TV and my parents would warn me to never ever enter into one of “those churches” because they are “founded by the devil” and that “Mormons” deceive people by having the name of Jesus Christ in their church’s name when they are not actually Christians. Obviously, none of these comments were based in actual facts. Authoritarian religious indoctrination does not tend to be fact-based in nature or transparent in motive. I was, fortunately, the black sheep of the family, so such fear mongering did not hold any lasting sway.

I took the Book of Mormon home and looked at it for a little while, its gentle whispers beckoning me from the dust. To be truthful and in light of my anti-Mormon upbringing, I figured the odds were about 40/60 that when I opened the book I would be struck down by a very angry God to punish me for being hoaxed into reading it. This was, in all honesty, a thought that literally floated through my mind in that moment. On the other hand, however, I wondered what was inside of the book that I might be missing. The latter part was victorious in this internal conflict, so I opened the Book of Mormon (and was not struck by lighting). Doing so was one of the best and most significant decisions I’ve ever made in my life, ranking up there with my decisions to make sacred covenants with the Lord and keep them.

My testimony of the Book of Mormon is sure. It is deep and multifaceted. That day, the Book of Mormon truly felt like water to my thirsty (dehydrated) soul. I read the Introduction and learned a little about the contents and purposes of the Book of Mormon. I began to read Nephi’s account. The first thing I noticed was that the account was in first person, and I was amazed by Nephi’s great confidence of the Lord’s favor and love for him. Nephi is a humble servant of the Lord, yet without denying his being “highly favored of the Lord in all (his) days” (1 Nephi 1:1). Woah! I didn’t know that God really even liked people  so this was a good start. I was blessed that day with a strong and unmistakable witness of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon and of the divine origins of the book. This testimony continues to grow as it is nourished, rooting itself ever deeper into my soul. As I read and re-read, search and ponder, pray and obey, I come to understand more things, line upon line, precept by precept. This process in turn solidifies and strengthens my love for and confidence in the book.

The Book of Mormon is a priceless treasure, one of the most valuable treasures in the history of this world. It is truly a marvelous work and a wonder. Several things stand out to me about the Book of Mormon that set it apart. First of all, the nature and mission of Jesus Christ are taught clearly, plainly and repeatedly in the Book of Mormon. We learn of Jesus’ love for all people and of his relationships with people around the world. It teaches us that he wants all people to come to him, not just a few. Before reading the Book of Mormon, I had the impression that God only cared about one group of people in the Middle East but he deferred to putting up with the rest of us because His chosen people did not accept Jesus as the Messiah.

Now I know the great things he has done for many groups of people and that Jesus also visited this hemisphere. This knowledge vastly expanded my understanding of God and his love towards all people and his relationship with the world. Secondly, the Book of Mormon helps me to better understand the Bible and its message. I have gained a much deeper understanding of and appreciation for the Bible’s stories, teachings, people and prophets. I see how the Bible connects to me personally because of connections made while reading the Book of Mormon.

Together, the Book of Mormon and the Bible set up a more complete and cohesive history of the Lord’s relationship with humankind from the time of Adam and throughout all subsequent generations. It connects even Joseph in Egypt to the people in the Americas during the last dispensation. This helps me to see that we are truly connected as characters (God’s children) in one long, beautiful and ongoing (eternal) story. I have come to love the Bible even more because of gaps that have been filled in, dots that have been connected and confusion that has been clarified.

Additionally, I marvel at the harmony among the many different voices in the Book of Mormon stories, particularly in their teachings about Jesus Christ. Most of the prophets involved in the coming forth of the Book of Mormon (as well as those whose stories are told in the book by its authors) are strangers to one another, who never lived on the earth at the same time or in the same geographical location or even spoke and wrote the same languages.  Yet despite these very diverse backgrounds, historical situations and conversion stories, their testimonies of Jesus Christ and his mission are unified in content and purpose . They all sing the same song of redeeming love.

The teachings of Lehi and Nephi are harmonious with those echoed by Enos, King Benjamin, Alma and Amulek, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Zenos, Samuel the Lamanite, Capitan Moroni, Mormon himself and even Joseph Smith after translating the book into English from a language he had never seen. The same teachings about Jesus Christ ring through the ages in each of these testimonies, before, during and after the earthy ministry of Jesus Christ.

I believe that the Book of Mormon is singular in its power to present truth to humankind, particularly the truth about Jesus Christ. I know and I affirm with unwavering certainty that God miraculously inspired many faithful and obedient prophets to play a part in the process of the writing, preserving and translating of the Book of Mormon. I know that Joseph Smith is the beloved Prophet of the Restoration  of the Church of Jesus Christ upon the earth and that he translated the Book of Mormon into English by the gift and power of God.

The Book of Mormon is a bright shining beacon of hope, truth, peace and light to the world. I believe it has more power than any other book to transform the life of any person who is willing to study it diligently and live by its precepts. The Book of Mormon has a unique power to bring persons to the knowledge that Jesus is the Christ and to truly come to know Jesus Christ. To me, the Book of Mormon is a Balm in Gilead that heals my troubled soul, guides me along the path to eternal life and strengthens my resolve to keep the sacred covenants I have made with God. As one of my Valiant 10 students said, “The Book of Mormon is so special because without it the Church could not exist.” I now know that Jesus Christ wants all to come to him and be saved and I know this truth because is set forth clearly and plainly in the Book of Mormon.