Healing the Wounded Heart: Forgiving One Another Through the Enabling Power of Jesus Christ releases July 1 CLICK HERE to preorder.
There are certain gospel doctrines we naturally embrace because they comfort us, inspire us, or fill us with hope. Then there are doctrines that stop us in our tracks because they ask something difficult of us. Few teachings of Jesus Christ fall more squarely into that second category than His command to forgive others.
The Lord did not present forgiveness as a noble suggestion reserved for spiritually advanced disciples. He presented it as a requirement. In modern revelation He declared: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (Doctrine and Covenants 64:10). That phrase—required to forgive all men—is among the most searching and demanding statements in all of scripture.
Of you it is required to forgive all men.
The challenge of this doctrine becomes immediately apparent because mortality guarantees that each of us will eventually be hurt by other people. Some offenses are relatively small: a thoughtless comment, a broken promise, gossip, criticism, rejection, dishonesty, or conflict within a family. Other wounds cut much deeper. Some people endure betrayal in marriage, abandonment, abuse, estrangement from children or parents, public humiliation, financial exploitation, or even criminal wrongdoing. Certain injuries affect the heart so deeply that the very thought of forgiveness can feel overwhelming, unfair, or even impossible.
Yet the command remains.
This reality creates one of the great spiritual tensions of mortal life: How do we obey Christ’s command to forgive when the wounds inflicted upon us feel so real, so undeserved, and sometimes so devastating?
That question ultimately became the motivation for my new book, Healing the Wounded Heart: Forgiving One Another Through the Enabling Power of Jesus Christ, which releases July 1. Over the next several months, I will share a series of articles exploring the doctrine, healing power, and practical application of forgiveness. My hope is that these articles will strengthen faith in Jesus Christ while also helping those who struggle under the heavy burden of resentment, betrayal, anger, or unresolved pain.
Forgiveness is deeply personal.
As I researched this subject, one conclusion became increasingly clear to me: forgiveness is not merely a theological concept discussed in Sunday School. It is deeply personal. At some point, every one of us will face circumstances that test our willingness to forgive.
Everyone has a story. A time when they were deeply wounded, disappointed, offended, or heartbroken by someone else. In those moments, the Savior’s teachings on forgiveness move from theory into reality.
One reason forgiveness feels so difficult is because many people misunderstand what forgiveness actually means. Some assume that forgiving another person means excusing harmful behavior or pretending that wrongdoing did not matter. Others fear that forgiveness somehow removes accountability or minimizes justice. Still others worry that forgiving requires immediate reconciliation or the restoration of trust regardless of circumstances.
But true forgiveness is none of those things.
Forgiveness is about the condition of our own heart before God.
Forgiveness does not mean approving sinful behavior. It does not mean abandoning wisdom, discernment, or healthy boundaries. It does not require us to remain in harmful situations, nor does it erase the consequences of another person’s actions. In fact, one of the important distinctions we will discuss in future articles is the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. The two are related, but they are not identical. Reconciliation generally requires trust, change, and mutual effort. Forgiveness, however, is fundamentally about the condition of our own heart before God.
At its core, forgiveness means releasing resentment and surrendering judgment to the Lord. It means refusing to allow another person’s sins to continue controlling our emotional and spiritual well-being. It is a conscious decision to stop nurturing bitterness, revenge, or hatred, even while acknowledging that genuine wrong has occurred. In this sense, forgiveness is less about declaring that the offense no longer matters and more about allowing the Savior to free us from carrying the spiritual burden that offense creates.
In the end, forgiving others is about “us” as victim and not about “them” as wrongdoer.
The Savior’s teachings on forgiveness become especially powerful when we consider His own example. No person in human history has suffered greater injustice than Jesus Christ. He lived a sinless life of perfect love and obedience, yet He was mocked, rejected, betrayed, falsely accused, scourged, abandoned, and crucified. Despite experiencing unimaginable suffering, He responded not with hatred or vengeance, but with mercy. While hanging upon the cross in agony, He prayed: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
That moment may represent the greatest demonstration of mercy in the history of the world. The Savior did not merely teach forgiveness; He embodied it perfectly. He demonstrated that forgiveness is not weakness, passivity, or surrender to evil. Rather, it is evidence of profound spiritual strength and complete trust in the justice and mercy of God.
The Savior’s example matters deeply because one of the greatest struggles experienced by those who have been wounded is the feeling that no one truly understands their pain. Yet Jesus Christ descended below all things. He experienced betrayal, sorrow, loneliness, injustice, rejection, grief, and suffering beyond mortal comprehension. Because of that, He possesses not only the authority to command forgiveness, but also the power to help us accomplish it. This is where the doctrine becomes deeply hopeful. The Lord never asks us to forgive entirely alone.
One of the central messages of the gospel is that Jesus Christ not only redeems us from sin, but also heals wounded hearts. Isaiah prophesied that the Messiah would “bind up the brokenhearted,” and that promise remains just as real today as it was anciently. Through the enabling power of Christ’s Atonement, He can gradually remove the emotional poison that resentment creates. He can soften hearts hardened by pain, calm anger, quiet bitterness, and restore peace where turmoil once dominated.
Forgiveness is often less an event than a journey.
Importantly, this process is often gradual. Some individuals forgive relatively quickly, while others struggle for years. Certain wounds heal slowly because they involve profound betrayal or loss. In some situations, forgiveness may require repeated effort as painful memories resurface over time. That does not necessarily mean a person is failing. Forgiveness is often less an event than a journey—a process of continually turning one’s heart toward Christ until His peace slowly replaces resentment and pain.
One of the surprising discoveries from my research was how universal this struggle truly is. Family estrangement is increasingly common across society. Divorce, betrayal, conflict, broken trust, public hostility, and fractured relationships affect millions of people. Many quietly carry wounds unknown even to close friends or family members. In a fallen world, opportunities to forgive are unavoidable. That reality helps explain why forgiveness is not a peripheral gospel principle. It stands near the very center of Christian discipleship.
As you read this article, perhaps someone has already come to mind. Maybe there is a wound you still carry. Maybe there is someone you struggle to forgive. Perhaps there is a relationship that remains unresolved or a hurt that still resurfaces unexpectedly. Or perhaps you are the one hoping to receive forgiveness yourself.
If so, I hope you will remain open to the possibility that healing is greater than you presently imagine—not because pain is insignificant, but because Jesus Christ is powerful. His grace is greater than resentment. His mercy is greater than injustice. His healing power is greater than the wounds mortality inflicts upon the human heart.
In the coming months, we will explore many difficult but important questions. What does forgiveness actually look like in practice? How do you know you have really forgiven someone? Can you forgive someone who never apologizes? What role does justice play? How does forgiveness affect emotional and mental health? What is the difference between divine forgiveness and the forgiveness we offer one another? How do we forgive when reconciliation is impossible? And what happens spiritually when we refuse to forgive?
These questions matter because every one of us will eventually stand on both sides of forgiveness: needing to grant it and needing to receive it. The good news of the gospel is that Jesus Christ stands ready to help us do both.
Healing the Wounded Heart: Forgiving One Another Through the Enabling Power of Jesus Christ releases July 1 CLICK HERE to preorder.
