Regardless of where we may stand on someone’s spectrum of identity politics, many of us are both disturbed and sickened by today’s public discourse.
Social media, TV talking heads, and once-respected media outlets have devolved into steaming caldrons of vitriol. The incivility is on display even (especially?) in the once-hallowed halls of Congress.
Whatever happened to respect in our private and public interactions? Where and when did we lose the willingness to exercise compassion toward someone with a different viewpoint? Where and when did we forget how (or why) to recognize each other’s humanity?
Okay. We could wax philosophical all day. For now, let’s consider some ever-so-timely suggestions for talking together. Not at each other. With each other.
A good starting place is Conversations Worth Having: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Fuel Productive and Meaningful Engagement.
Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres offer proven principles and practices for navigating conversations in ways that produce good results and strengthen relationships. Stavros is a professor at Lawrence Technological University, an expert in Appreciative Inquiry, and an associate at the Taos Institute. She’s presented her research in more than 25 countries. Torres is a senior catalyst and consultant at Collaborative by Design, NextMove, and Innovation Partners. She works with leaders and teams to change culture from the inside out.
Rodger Dean Duncan: For those who are unfamiliar with Appreciative Inquiry, can you explain what it is?
Jackie Stavros: Appreciative Inquiry (AI) is an approach for discovering the best in people and teams to fuel productivity and meaningful engagement in organizations and local, national, and global communities. AI is one of the most widely used approaches for fostering positive change and creating innovation. It’s used in organizations ranging from Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, Google, the U.S. Navy, and Cleveland Clinic to cities like Denver and Chicago and in countries around the world. The Appreciative Inquiry Commons is a worldwide portal providing practical tools on AI and the growing discipline of positive change.
Duncan: What are the hallmarks of a conversation worth having?
Stavros: Conversations are how we interact with others and with ourselves. The hallmarks of a conversation worth having are an appreciative tone, a positive direction, and generative questions. These conversations are—
- Meaningful
- Inquisitive
- Solution-focused
- Productive
- Engaging
Conversations worth having generate shared understanding, new information, and possibilities for action to move forward. In our workplaces, these great conversations fuel productivity, performance, engagement, and satisfaction, all supporting excellence.
Duncan: What role do questions play in advancing a conversation to a productive conclusion?
Stavros: The type of questions you ask can open up or shut down another person. Appreciative inquiry-based questions are generative in that they demonstrate a genuine curiosity in a person, team, or situation. Generative questions create new images and change the way people think and act. These questions generate information, reveal hidden assumptions and diverse perspectives, and make room for the emergence of new ideas, possibilities, or opportunities. Questions that arise out of curiosity and genuine interest can deepen understanding and play a role in building relationships, strengths, connections, and productive solutions.
Recall a conversation in which someone’s questions resulted in your feeling more connected to them or inspired to take action. For example, you can ask questions that focus on what you want more of: What are your wishes? instead of what you don’t want. Our questions create our moments.
Dr. Rodger Dean Duncan is the award-winning, bestselling author of CHANGE-friendly LEADERSHIP: How to Transform Good Intentions into Great Performance. For a FREE copy of his book, click here.
Corey D.December 20, 2024
There are two important reasons/causes, well actually three, why there seems to be this sharp polarization in society, particularly in the political realm. The first is, it's no longer just about political differences, in years past people had different political views that revolved around what and where government should spend money or what government should or should not be involved in, but their views or beliefs about family, marriage, education, work ethic, etc, or in other words their basic moral values were more or less similar, that's no longer the case, makes it very hard to have discussions with others. Second cause of polarization is the radical takeover of the educational system particularly at the university level that has been going on for many years, even reaching into church sponsored schools, hence certain warnings subtle and not so subtle by some of the brethren in recent years about getting church sponsored and supported schools back on track to their basic core and primary mission and the proliferation of charter and private schools. Everyone should read a book titled Debunking Howard Zinn by Mary Grabar. Of course for members of the church we know the main reason for the contention is Satan, he knows time is short and is giving it all he has to destroy the plan and eliminate peace.