For seven years, I worked in a medium security prison in Arizona. Since it was medium security, they did not have two men in a cell like you often see in the movies. There were dorms or pods where 64 men lived together. Some had bunk beds and others had little individual cubicles. In the summer there was no air-conditioning, they only had evaporative coolers. As you can imagine, it could be uncomfortably warm. When that happened, the men in prison could become a little bit irritable and short-tempered. It was also a depressing time for many during the holidays because they missed family and friends and holiday celebrations. But we learned a valuable lesson in one assignment they completed in therapy: Service is joy.
As they went through a counseling program to help them become accountable for their decisions, they were given the assignment to give 10 hours of service. The service was given without any thought of recognition, reward, or recompense. Many men would offer to help the pod porters sweep and mop the dorm. Some would offer to help the shower porter clean the showers and toilets. Some would help the laundry porter distribute laundry to the men in the dorm. When they first offered, they were met with suspicion. People wondered what they were up to and what they expected. When they explained it was just to give service, the men dropped their reluctance to receive service.
Some men would help others with their studies to get their GED. Some men with artistic talent would create greeting cards the men could send to their families. Some would translate correspondence. Others would make paper sculptures the men could give away as gifts to their families.
When the men returned to group therapy and reported on their experience of giving service, we would often hear they had a feeling inside that they have never felt before, a warm feeling, or the “warm fuzzies.” For many of these men it was the first time they had thought of helping someone else. Before that, they were very self-centered with the attitude of “what’s in it for me?!” You and I know that the warm feeling inside was the Holy Ghost. Mosiah 2: 17 says: “And behold I tell you these things that you may learn wisdom; you may learn that when you’re in the service of your fellow beings you’re only in the service of your God.”
Adjusting to Missionary Life offers suggestions we can all follow:
- Give service to our companion/spouse/family, to friends of the church, to ward members, and others.
- Listen to understand. Offer support and encouragement.
- Express gratitude.
- Learn to ask inspired questions. Ask people about their work, hobbies, family, or personal history. Ask what matters most to them, what they yearn for or worry about.
- Listen for opportunities to testify of a gospel principle that will be relevant to them.
- Smile, make eye contact, wave, say hello.
- Pay them a compliment, offer help, ask questions that start with who, what, when, where, why, or how.
- Make a goal to get to know one new person at every meeting you attend. Use the person’s name in the first minute and when you end the conversation.
- Be straightforward and kind.
- Avoid negative labels or judgments. Don’t take offense.
- Try to do something nice. Fix lunch, listen, shine shoes, smile, hang up towels, put away dishes, write or text thank you notes.
- Pray for the gift of charity. Do so “with the all the energy of heart.” (Moroni 7:48) Pray to see others as God sees them. Serve church members, friends of the church, and others. Ask them questions about their lives, beliefs, and experiences. Pray for people.
During this holiday season, the church has placed in many locations the Giving Machines where we can contribute to help others in need. We can also check out justserve.org and look at other service opportunities. We can seek opportunities to serve our ministering families and others in our neighborhood.
In conclusion, I share one of my favorite quotes by the Indian philosopher/poet, Rabindranath Tagore: “I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”
May the Lord bless us to reach out to others and serve as he has and continues to serve us.
