For members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, General Conference is a special time to reflect on our beliefs and renew our faith. We hear the word of God taught by apostles, prophets and other inspired leaders.
As the leaves are falling outside and as we celebrate our annual autumn traditions, one of those special traditions is falling in love with every new conference talk that resonates with us personally. Did you know that General Conference can even help singles fall in love in the real world? As you learn to trust in a God of miracles, you can believe more in the reality that God can help you find your forever companion. As you intentionally create a more Christ-centered life, you will be better prepared to attract a more Christ centered love.
In our modern world, many who have married and divorced protest that they are comfortable being alone and do not want or need to remarry. Others suggest that they might remarry but it is no longer important to them to marry a member of the Church. Often these comments hint at disillusionment with marriage or with the idea to a Church member makes any difference in the day-to-day business of family life. Inevitably, these concerns point exclusively to temporal and mortal concerns. This past conference, however, President Dallin Oaks reminded us of the eternal consequences of a temple marriage covenant:
God’s plan, founded on eternal truth, requires that exaltation can be attained only through faithfulness to the covenants of an eternal marriage between a man and a woman in the holy temple, which marriage will ultimately be available to all the faithful.
President Nelson was also emphatic in stating that our eternal relationships with our families depend on our choices—and merely choosing whether and whom to marry “as though this life is all there is” is a grave mistake. President Nelson did not mince words in saying that we cannot inherit celestial glory if we choose to live a telestial law of marriage:
The Lord has clearly taught that only men and women who are sealed as husband and wife in the temple, and who keep their covenants, will be together throughout the eternities. He said, All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations, that are not made and entered into and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise … have an end when men are dead.”
Thus, if we unwisely choose to live telestial laws now, we are choosing to be resurrected with a telestial body. We are choosing not to live with our families forever.
For those of us who have experienced marriages broken by divorce, Elder D. Todd Christofferson gave these comforting words of hope:
Some have experienced unhappy and unhealthy family circumstances and feel little desire for an eternal family association. Elder David A. Bednar made this observation: “To you who have experienced the heartache of a divorce in your family or felt the agony of violated trust, please remember [that God’s pattern for families] begins again with you! One link in the chain of your generations may have been broken, but the other righteous links and what remains of the chain are nonetheless eternally important. You can add strength to your chain and perhaps even help to restore the broken links. That work will be accomplished one by one.”
We are reminded that the decision to become disillusioned and give up on eternal marriage can have eternal consequences. We are also reminded of the alternative. We can exercise faith and anchor ourselves in the gospel of Jesus Christ to be endowed with the power to overcome extreme adversity. As Elder Joaquin E. Costa taught:
For the pictures that are not taken of tears shed and prayers offered after a loss or a traumatic divorce; for the posts that are never made of the fear, the sorrow, and the pain that become bearable thanks to faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement. These people strengthen my own faith, and for that I am deeply grateful.
. . .
I know that [Jesus Christ] stands ready to endow us with His power if we come to Him each and every day.
One of the most important misconceptions of our modern world is “you don’t choose love—love chooses you.” Movies and episode series portray love as something you have no control over, contradicting the scriptural teaching that people are free, “to act for themselves and not to be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:26). As President M. Russell Ballard taught in April, 2023:
A choice to be part of a family requires commitment, love, patience, communication, and forgiveness. There may be times when we disagree with another person, but we can do so without being disagreeable. In courtship and marriage, we don’t fall in love or fall out of love as though we are objects being moved on a chessboard. We choose to love and sustain one another. We do the same in other family relationships and with friends who are like family to us.
Cathy and I have often taught those contemplating a second or third marriage that we have a choice to govern their new relationships with intention or emotion. If we govern them with emotion, we are being acted upon. We “fall” in and out of love, feeling hopeless to make a better marriage in the future. If we govern our marriages with intention, we have the power to choose how we show up, how we act, and even how we feel. The world is teaching a dangerous lie. President Ballard told us the truth.
Elder Chrisofferson also provided words of hope to those who would choose eternal marriage, but have no realistic opportunity:
[W]e recognize that in the imperfect present, [eternal marriage] is not the reality or even a realistic possibility for some. But we have hope in Christ. While we wait upon the Lord, President M. Russell Ballard reminds us that “scriptures and latter-day prophets confirm that everyone who is faithful in keeping gospel covenants will have the opportunity for exaltation.”
One of our core beliefs in the gospel of Jesus Christ is that God gives good gifts, and He is active in our lives. Could you use a miraculously good gift? Do you crave having the power of God in your life to bring about the kind of changes you want? One of President Nelson’s fundamental teachings is that God is a God of miracles and that there is much more for us to learn and to gain by developing our relationship with Him. As President Nelson testified at the recent conference, “During my healing, the Lord has manifested His divine power in peaceful and unmistakable ways.” He further testified that through temple worship and personal revelation, you “are drawn closer to the Savior and given greater access to His power” and “are guided in solving the problems in your life, even your most perplexing problems.”
As we enjoy this fall season, may we fall in love with Conference—and perhaps even with our forever companion as we apply the messages given there.
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About the Author
Jeff Teichert, and his wife Cathy Butler Teichert, are the founders of “Love in Later Years,” which ministers to Latter-day Saint single adults seeking peace, healing, and more joyful relationships. They are co-authors of the Amazon bestseller Intentional Courtship: A Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress and Pairing Up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Jeff and Cathy each spent nearly a decade in the mid-singles community and they use that experience to provide counsel and hope to mid-singles and later married couples through written articles, podcasts, and videos. Jeff and Cathy are both Advanced Certified Life Coaches and have university degrees in Family & Human Development. They are the parents of a blended family that includes four handsome sons, one lovely daughter-in-law, and a sweet baby granddaughter.
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