Your Hardest Family Question: My non-member daughter is discouraging me from serving a mission
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Robert LivelyJune 18, 2016
Senior missionareis I interviewed for THE MORMON MISSIONARY whose children had drifted away from the Church generally had one of three experiences: while the child (or children) had left the Church, they were pleased their parents were going on a senior mission and some even helped support them financially. There were those whose children had drifted away and who showed little interest in the Church, but the parents hoped that their example of serving a senior mission would have a positive effect on their children. Said one couple heading to Italy, "Words haven't worked. Perhaps our example will get them back into the fold." And there were those whose non-member children were very much opposed to the parents going on a mission and they let their negative feelings be known: high school graduations would be missed, the births of grandchildren would be missed. But the parents had committed to serving, they kept in touch with the family while gone (recounting all of the wonderful experiences they were having), and hoped that upon their return, fences could be mended.
John BrockbankJune 18, 2016
You mention that you are only a phone call away now. You will still have a phone in addition to Skype and other means to communicate, not to mention letters, which become priceless immediately. In them you have the opportunity to express your love, your experiences and your testimony; and, look at any general conference talk, testimony is powerful. Regarding her siblings, send them the same messages, and include forgiving, patience, inclusion, charity, etc as topics for them to consider. Perhaps if they learn the importance of sharing their lives they will soften hearts - hers and theirs. Go on your missions. Bless the lives of others, and discover your problems are small and brief. I speak from experience.
UnresolvedJune 17, 2016
Maybe the first thing to do is sort out the unresolved issues with your other three children ( isn't that part of the temple recommend interview ? Problems in your family..etc you can then get a recommend, ) Then when they are talking to you again, they may start talking to her and therefore she ( and you) will have more support, which you will defiantly need while you are away. From offspring, from their kids if they have any etc from her and her children. All happy and supportive while you serve and you now supporting them in their lives, which isn't happening at the moment. The mission will happen, but there are bigger issues first , to deal with at home.
Junk BinJune 17, 2016
your daughter became her own household at 18 years. You imparted the gospel values to her while she grew up. Her going inactive is her choice. Your going on a mission is carrying out your dedication and covenant to the Lord. You did consecrate all that you own to the Lord with your Endowment. To not go on a senior mission would only reinforce her belief the the gospel and your covenants do not matter
Robert LivelyJune 17, 2016
This is not an uncommon problem. Similar stories are shared in the chapter, "Senior Missionaries and Other Types of Missionary Service" in my new book, THE MORMON MISSIONARY: Who IS That Knocking at My Door? Robert Lively
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