I agree that the blame should not be placed on just one of the spouses. A husband who feels he is always justified in getting angry at his wife has a bigger problem than she does.
BruceAugust 17, 2025
There is so very little to go on with this reader's letter for any of us to make meaningful comments. But I can say that I sympathize with her. I pray the writer of this letter can find the answers she needs.
Dawn O'DellAugust 16, 2025
I've lived this woman's scenario myself. The reality is, no one who actually is a horrible wife will ever have the clarity to admit it even to herself, mush less in a public forum like this. That's not the problem. Get professional counseling, and don't hesitate. If necessary, talk to your bishop about getting help to do this. Issues like these do NOT resolve on their own. Hopefully your husband will see the value in it and agree to attend. If not, go on your own. Your children deserve to have a strong mom who models the ability to develop her own relationship with Heavenly Father and our Savior, including having fun with it. There is no one right way to do this. It is ok to have different opinions than your husband. It is even ok to disagree. Conflict is fine, it is how we identify something that needs work. Contention is not fine. We have two eyes in order to deepen our perspective, and each eye has a slightly different viewpoint. There is nothing wrong in this. It is how we were created. I'm sure that sometimes your husband's tone or his choice of words offends you, too. That's normal. So is the need to apologize and forgive, on both sides. But it is not ok for one spouse to cause the other to believe that they are bad just because they think differently. It's not ok to hold a grudge all day after the other person has sincerely apologized. I recommend reading a book called "Boundaries in Marriage" by Cloud and Townsend. You can likely find it at the public library. Best wishes!
K GrantAugust 16, 2025
I can understand this wife's a situation to a certain degree. I realized that my husband has a strong need to feel respected as a lot of men do. But he was associating my agreeing with him as being respected. So it was hard to have a difference of opinion because he interpreted that according to some of his own triggers. It didn't always matter how I presented the thought it was still challenging. So if that's a similar trigger for this woman's husband, it's helpful to begin with something like..." I'm not saying this to disrespect you, I just have a different way of looking at this "
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IsabelAugust 17, 2025
I agree that the blame should not be placed on just one of the spouses. A husband who feels he is always justified in getting angry at his wife has a bigger problem than she does.
BruceAugust 17, 2025
There is so very little to go on with this reader's letter for any of us to make meaningful comments. But I can say that I sympathize with her. I pray the writer of this letter can find the answers she needs.
Dawn O'DellAugust 16, 2025
I've lived this woman's scenario myself. The reality is, no one who actually is a horrible wife will ever have the clarity to admit it even to herself, mush less in a public forum like this. That's not the problem. Get professional counseling, and don't hesitate. If necessary, talk to your bishop about getting help to do this. Issues like these do NOT resolve on their own. Hopefully your husband will see the value in it and agree to attend. If not, go on your own. Your children deserve to have a strong mom who models the ability to develop her own relationship with Heavenly Father and our Savior, including having fun with it. There is no one right way to do this. It is ok to have different opinions than your husband. It is even ok to disagree. Conflict is fine, it is how we identify something that needs work. Contention is not fine. We have two eyes in order to deepen our perspective, and each eye has a slightly different viewpoint. There is nothing wrong in this. It is how we were created. I'm sure that sometimes your husband's tone or his choice of words offends you, too. That's normal. So is the need to apologize and forgive, on both sides. But it is not ok for one spouse to cause the other to believe that they are bad just because they think differently. It's not ok to hold a grudge all day after the other person has sincerely apologized. I recommend reading a book called "Boundaries in Marriage" by Cloud and Townsend. You can likely find it at the public library. Best wishes!
K GrantAugust 16, 2025
I can understand this wife's a situation to a certain degree. I realized that my husband has a strong need to feel respected as a lot of men do. But he was associating my agreeing with him as being respected. So it was hard to have a difference of opinion because he interpreted that according to some of his own triggers. It didn't always matter how I presented the thought it was still challenging. So if that's a similar trigger for this woman's husband, it's helpful to begin with something like..." I'm not saying this to disrespect you, I just have a different way of looking at this "
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