I read this column with the context of a similar article he wrote in mind, and I don't think the author implied that the wife should not trust the husband! It seems clear to me from the article that the trust needs to be rebuilt, not that it should never exist again. The memory of past question/answer sessions between the husband and wife are the root of the mental turmoil that she is experiencing. As he said, if she was told over and over that nothing had happened, she was lied to very directly, and that will take time to heal.
The husband made a very difficult decision to confess. Knowing the problem it now has caused shows just how difficult that decision was. You have know told her she should forgive but is justified in distrusting him until he can prove otherwise. Under these conditions, why would anyone confess. Should he have been advised to let sleeping dogs lie, since your wife will never trust you again? Don't call me I'll call you.
Our daughter is 26 now. She's the product of an indiscretion of my Eternal Companion's. I love her; I love my wife. It took time for the wound to "scab." Every now and then my wife will tell me how hard I made it on her when I was at first dealing with this situation. My wife's made the decision not to tell my daughter and the secret is hard for me to keep. Love your husband. Although a bit trite, remember the mantra: What would Jesus do? It helps...
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