When Stress Takes Over
Cortisol is real — and it can run our lives if we let it. When stress floods the brain, thinking clearly becomes almost impossible. Small worries grow larger, and before long, our minds are stuck in loops of “what if” that drain peace and energy.
But even when our bodies are filled with cortisol and calm feels far away, we can still choose to change our thoughts — and that choice changes everything.
A Mother’s Sleepless Nights
Recently, my daughter had her first baby — such a sweet, tiny soul. Those first days were full of joy but also sleeplessness. One night she called, exhausted and in tears. The baby couldn’t calm down enough to sleep, and neither could she.
She confessed that she was so worried about not getting enough sleep that she couldn’t sleep at all. Her thoughts were caught in a cycle: What if this never gets better? What if I can’t do this? These thoughts were believable in the moment but not true — and they were fueling more stress.
When I went to help for a few days, the change was almost immediate. Just knowing she wasn’t alone calmed her body. After she’d rested, we talked about the thoughts that were keeping her stuck and how to challenge them.
The Thought-Shift Process
Here’s what we practiced together — a process anyone can use when stress takes over:
1. Notice the thought that’s driving your emotions.
Calmness begins with awareness. My daughter realized her fear of “never sleeping again” was keeping her in fight-or-flight mode.2. Challenge the thought.
Ask yourself, Is this completely true? Most of the time, it isn’t. Recognizing that breaks the spell of worry.3. Replace the thought with truth.
We rehearsed calming truths she could rely on:
- “This is just a short season; it will pass.”
- “I can patiently teach my baby to rest.”
- “Deep breathing tells both of us we’re okay.”
4. Act on the new truth.
She took slow breaths, spoke gently to her baby, and allowed peace to fill the room. Within a day, both mother and child were sleeping better.
Her calmness calmed the baby — and that’s how calm spreads.
Why Truth Brings Calm
Many stressful thoughts are simply untrue. They’re fears that feel real because our bodies are full of stress chemicals. When we don’t question them, they quietly shape our emotions, actions, and decisions.
Choosing calmness means replacing fear with truth. It’s not pretending everything is fine; it’s aligning our thoughts with what’s real and possible instead of what’s imagined and threatening.
When we breathe deeply and speak truth to ourselves, our brain chemistry shifts. Cortisol decreases. The logical, problem-solving part of the brain re-engages. Calmness returns — not by accident, but by decision.
The Power of Faith and Thought
Scripture reminds us, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)
Our thoughts shape our hearts, and our hearts shape our lives. When we fill our minds with truthful, peaceful thoughts — grounded in faith and self-government — we become steady even in chaos.
Calmness isn’t passive; it’s a practice. It takes humility to recognize untrue thoughts and courage to choose better ones. But each calm thought builds strength and trust in God’s peace.
Learning Calmness Together
That week with my daughter reminded me that calmness is something we teach and share. Our tone, body language, and even our hormones can pass calmness to others — or the opposite.
When we choose truth and self-government, our homes become calmer too. Children learn by example; they mirror the peace they see.
If you’d like to learn this process more deeply — for yourself and your family — my new book The Power of Calm and the children’s series The Calm Crew teach these principles step by step.
Both will ship at the end of this year, and you can preorder them now at TeachingSelfGovernment.com/store.
Choosing calmness truly begins by changing your mind — one truthful thought at a time.
