My husband, John, and I were tired but excited as we finally arrived, late at night, at the Honolulu airport.  For years, I had dreamed of going to Hawaii, and now that dream was coming true!  I had been asked to speak at several forums at BYUH.  What a wonderful blessing!  John picked up the rental car and, as we were exiting the airport, we got a call from our son, Jay, who was in Columbus, Georgia.  We had no idea at that point how that call was going to turn our world absolutely upside down . . .

Something was clearly, terribly wrong, as Jay was struggling to talk.  Through tears he finally managed to tell us that Madi, his little 3-year-old daughter, was suddenly having some difficulty.  Angie had first noticed that Madi was having trouble balancing on the balance beam at her Friday gymnastics class, and so had made an appointment for the following Monday with her pediatrician.   During the next two days Madi had stumbled several times and was walking erratically.

At her Monday appointment, after watching Madi walk, her doctor had insisted that Madi have an immediate MRI.  Leaving the office and expecting it to take some time before they received any interpretation of the MRI, Angie was surprised that the doctor called back immediately.  He said that it appeared that Madi had a tumor on her brain.

The pediatrician told Jay and Angie to rush Madi to Atlanta for further testing.  An appointment was made for the following morning.   They left for Atlanta immediately.  Jay asked us to fast with him and his wife, Angie.  Through his tears, he admitted that they were terrified.

This seemed absolutely impossible.  Little Madi was one of the most joyously alive kids we knew.  Extremely precocious, she was already beginning to read.  She was also practically fearless.  At the age of three, she could jump off the diving board and swim to the edge of the pool, where she would jump up and run to do it again.  She laughed and giggled and lit up every room she was in.  There must be a mistake.  There must be some other explanation . . . .

Jay promised to call us as soon as he had any more information.

We began to fast immediately.  We had to decide what to do next.  I was committed to speak in a number of forums over the next three days, including to the entire BYUH student body.  As soon as we got to our hotel room, John called the airlines and arranged for him to return to Atlanta on the next available flight, which turned out to be the following evening.  John insisted that I stay and keep my commitments at BYUH, then join him in Atlanta where we could be with our son and his family.

The next day was one of the longest days of my life.  We kept waiting to get a call from our son, Jay.  But it never came.  A terrible dread crept over me as we waited hour after hour.  We tried calling both Jay and Angie several times but got no answer.  John’s flight was delayed until the next morning.  Finally, we went to bed, though neither one of us slept.  Though we took care not to speak of it, our fear was palpable.

The next morning, we finally got the long-awaited call.  Jay apologized for not calling the day before, but explained that he had been emotionally unable to talk.  Then we went through several minutes where he struggled to talk through sobs.  We couldn’t make out what he was saying.  Finally, he was able to tell us that Madi had a glioma brain tumor.   The diagnosis was terminal.  Apparently, no one survived a glioma brain tumor.  The most they could hope for was perhaps a year.  It would more likely be just a few months.

Angie immediately went into overdrive researching the disease and the available treatments.  There seemed to be no consensus as to the best way forward.  There were a couple of experimental therapies, that could possibly prolong life a little longer, but there were no guarantees.  There was a promising treatment in California, but it was still too early to see if it had any lasting effect.  After a lot of research, Jay & Angie decided to go with an experimental therapy that was being tried at Children’s Health Care of Atlanta, Emory hospital.

It was an incredibly aggressive protocol.  Madi was put on radiation therapy five days a week for 33 days.  She had to be completely anesthetized every day for this therapy.  She also had experimental chemotherapy every day, in addition to the radiation.   She then would get a week off of chemo, then begin the chemo treatments all over again.  The chemo went on and on, continuing in various forms for eight months.  This would have been a drastically difficult treatment for an adult.  For a three-year-old child, it was unbelievable.

I can’t begin to describe how difficult this was, not only for Madi, but for the entire family.  There were tears every day as this tiny little girl faced radiation and chemotherapy.  She had to be given a lot of steroids to keep her brain from swelling.  She, herself began to swell up in reaction to the steroids.

The radiation should cause the tumor to be shrunken and destroyed.  At that point, the tumor would either grow back, or be in remission.  Only time would tell.

Midway through this treatment we had a remarkable experience.  One day, Jay received a call from Elder Devn Cornish, who was in the Church’s Area Presidency in Atlanta.  Elder Cornish was also a famous pediatric surgeon.  He informed Jay that he had received a call from President Thomas S. Monson. President Monson was planning a trip to Atlanta to rededicate the Atlanta Temple.  He said he had hoped to have time to give Madi a Priesthood blessing, but unfortunately, given the tight schedule for the dedication, that would not be possible.  He asked Elder Cornish if he would give Madi a blessing in his stead.

Jay was incredulous!  “What are you talking about?  How in the world does Pres. Monson know about Madi and her illness?  I don’t know President Monson.  No one in my family knows President Monson.  In fact, no one in my family knows any General Authorities.  How is this even possible??”

Elder Cornish replied that, in fact, he had received two calls from the Prophet.  One a week earlier, asking him to give Madi a blessing.  The second one had come a week later.  Pres. Monson was checking up to make sure the blessing had been given.  Elder Cornish told Jay that his own personal schedule had been non-stop that week, but he assured Pres. Monson, “I’m on it!”

They arranged for a blessing the following day.  Jay called John and me to ask us to join in a fast to prepare for this blessing.

Both John and I were out of town.  John was in NYC.  I was in India.  So, neither one of us was able to get there.  But we both joyfully joined in the fast.  Personally, I thought this was the miracle we were all hoping for.  A blessing from the Prophet!  Surely, this blessing would heal Madi!

After the set time for the blessing, I called Jay with anticipation to find out what had happened.  Nothing could have prepared me for what he told me.  He said that when he arrived at the home, Elder Cornish asked them who they would like to be the voice for the blessing.  Angie said that, given that both Elder Cornish and Jay held the same Melchizedek Priesthood, she felt that someone that knew Madi should offer the blessing.  Jay quickly deferred, insisting that Elder Cornish should offer it.

But it was eventually decided that Jay would offer it.  He had fasted and prayed for this blessing to heal Madi. Now, preparing to give the blessing, Jay told me that he was determined that he would be able to bless Madi with a complete healing.  His faith felt strong.  But he said, when he put his hands on her head, he did not speak the words he had planned to utter.  He said, the words literally came to him.  They were not what he expected.

He said that he thanked God for sending Madi to their family.  He prayed, “We were so grateful when you sent this beautiful child into our family.  We have been grateful for every precious day that we have shared with her.”  He recounted to me that then he said something that he never could have imagined.  He said, ‘If you now want her back, we will give her back to you with gratitude.”

It was the last thing he could have imagined saying, but the minute the words were spoken, he said he was blessed with a great feeling of peace.  He told me that, at that moment, everything in his heart changed.

The next day, Madi received a beautiful letter from the Prophet, assuring her that she was loved dearly by her Heavenly Father.  Pres. Monson emphasized how important her life was to God and to all who knew and loved her.

To our family, all this was unimaginable, that the Prophet of the Lord, who oversaw a worldwide Church of millions of members, would care enough to make two phone calls to arrange for a blessing for this child that he had never even met, and then to write a personal letter to her.  We learned later that it was through a friend of Madi’s other grandmother, Toni Hammond, that the Prophet had learned of Madi’s illness.  Toni’s friend happened to be the Prophet’s secretary.   Still, this level of love, concern, caring and service was tremendously touching.

The following month was a joyous one.  The tumor indeed began to shrink.  Madi began to recover her normal abilities.  The family took happy advantage of this.  A friend offered them a house on the beach for a week.  They spent a delightful week there.  They also savored a trip to Disney World, provided for by the Make a Wish Foundation.  There, Madi got to have a special breakfast with the Disney Characters and meet each one.  At night, one of the characters would come and kiss her good night as she prepared for bed.  It was magical!

But then, Madi’s tumors began to return.  As they grew, Madi slowly lost many of her abilities.  It was heartbreaking.  She lost the ability to walk.  Then to even stand.  For a child, who had been remarkably communicative for her age, she was finding it more and more difficult to mouth words.  Finally, only nearly unintelligible sounds came out.  It was very frustrating to her because she knew what she was trying to communicate—she just couldn’t get us to understand.  Before long, she lost the ability to sit up.

As the disease progressed, she was unable to sleep.  She was plagued with constant hunger, due to the steroids.  We kept waiting for a miracle.  The entire family of aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents, joined with Jay and Angie in praying nearly non-stop.  We had several family fasts.  But the tumors continued to grow.

As if this were not enough, one day Madi contracted a bad cough.  By that time, she had lost the ability to swallow, so she felt like she was constantly drowning.  The next day, when Angie took Madi for her chemo treatment, with great sadness, the doctor gently told Angie that the treatments were failing.  He suggested that Angie take Madi home and arrange for hospice care.

That night Madi was in such terrible pain that Jay called another brother from the ward, who kindly came over at 11:00 PM.  Together they blessed Madi to be relieved of her pain.  Shortly after, she mercifully fell asleep.  That night both Angie and Jay lay together in bed with Madi between them.  They lovingly hugged her as she slept.  As they lay there together, eventually Angie realized that Madi had quit breathing.  She literally died in their loving embrace.

Jay and Angie both told me that this was a very sacred moment.  They knew that they were being asked to confirm their commitment to return their daughter to God with gratitude.  They felt that the blessing she had received from her father and Elder Cornish, made this possible.

Angie also said, “I could not be more grateful for the relief of her suffering.  Within two hours after that blessing, she was healed forever of her pain.  And I could not be more grateful that I could have her in my arms when she died.”

We often have occasion to pray with all the fervor of our hearts.  We beg God.  We offer anything, anything in return.  But sometimes the answer is simply no.  These are the times that our faith is most called into question.  But these are the times that can bind our hearts to the Lord.

In a beautiful conference address on being grateful in all circumstances, Elder Uchtdorf taught:

Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.  We can be grateful!

It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.

As disciples of Christ, we are commanded to “thank the Lord [our] God in all things.” We can choose to be grateful, no matter what our circumstances. This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. . .

When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise.  In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace. We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?

Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.  This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind.

Without Madi’s blessing, Jay and Angie felt that they would not have been able to endure her loss.  But with that remarkable blessing, they both felt enveloped in the loving arms of their Heavenly Father during the most difficult trial of their lives.  I asked both Jay and Angie for thoughts on this article.  They sent me some things they had posted during those trying times.

From Angie’s blog: Whether Madi is healed or not, our faith in Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ remains the same. We are still hoping and praying and sometimes begging for a miracle on her behalf, but the outcome has no bearing on what we already know. I know God answers prayers in the best way possible, but He can only do so if we actually ask. So please continue to offer prayers on her behalf. The effect of thirty days of radiation on her tumor is nothing compared to the effect of thousands of prayers.

From Jay: It is impossible to describe the feeling of sitting in a chair as a doctor tells you that your only daughter will likely pass away within a year. At that moment, and for the next several days, our world fell apart and was remade. Things that mattered so much to us just hours earlier no longer even made the list of things that warranted our attention. This was a crucible-like experience that instantaneously burned away the superfluous from our lives and left us clinging to our family. The result of this refocusing was an increased appreciation for the little moments of joy that accompany daily living, and I have never had more meaningful or poignant moments than I have experienced during the last few weeks. Consequently, we have had great happiness in the midst of all of this pain. 

Certainly, there are moments when, despite our best efforts, our focus pans out and we reflect on events that may arise in the near future. We wonder if we will be able to hide Easter eggs for her next year, if she will attend kindergarten, or if her brothers will remember her. These are hard moments, and I have to force myself to change my focus – not to become more myopic, but rather to pan even farther out, and view our lives as God views them. And the knowledge of the eternal nature of our souls, and our existence beyond this life gives us reassurance that any separation we experience will be momentary. 

We continue to hope and pray for a miracle. God is hearing the prayers of thousands of people on Madi’s behalf [thanks to Angie’s blog.]  She is prayed for in temples and in churches of all faiths around the world. Hundreds of people fast for her. Even more important, though, is her relationship to her Heavenly Father, a relationship that is self-defining. Madi is a child of God, and He loves her as His child. And so, He will act in her best interest. While the events that have led to this disease may or may not have been random, we know that the outcome will not be and that her life is in His hands. As a father who loves his daughter, I could not ask for anything more.