I don’t talk or write about this that much, but today I have something to say about getting rid of the negative influences, and negative people in particular in our lives. While I enthusiastically celebrate the diversity in the world, it’s crucial, no, dare I say absolutely essential to eliminate from our lives the forces that are not bringing out our best. In other words, getting rid of those who are bringing us down.
I’m not talking about throwing in the towel on relationships with the people we’ll always be sticking with, for better or for worse. But you know the kind of person I mean: the one who saps you of the energy you need to be putting into those more important relationships. So one of the things I did when I went on my mission to be happy was give myself permission to give the “toodle-oo” to the people who were draining me of my joy and bringing out my worst. I committed to getting ‘em out of my life.
What I’m discovering is this: you don’t have to be hurtful or mean to do this, but you have to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself this question: Are we (me and this other person) bringing out the best in each other or not? If you’re drained, worn out, less able to see good, find hope, rejoice…let ‘em go. Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry. It’s Okay. To help you catch the spirit of what I’m talking about, cue the mp3 and listen up.
Listen:
THE TOODLE OO
If you’ve tried to be understanding
To people so demanding
They could be arrested as emotional thieves
By anyone’s definition
They’re a negative addition
If they’ve sucked the life from you so long that you can barely breathe
Well here’s a little tip that you can take from me
GIVE YOUR TIME TO THOSE WHO NEED YOU
GIVE YOUR TRUST TO THE FRIENDS WHO ARE TRUE
BUT IF YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE TO THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO JUST USE YOU
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO
GIVE THEM THE TOODLE-OO
GIVE THEM THE TOODLE-OO
It’s not dereliction
To end your affliction
By simply doing what I’m talking about
A little toodle-ooing and things will start improving
This is a lesson I’m glad I figured out
Some things just gotta go, when you’re cleaning house
GIVE YOUR TIME TO THOSE WHO NEED YOU
GIVE YOUR TRUST TO THE FRIENDS WHO ARE TRUE
BUT IF YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE TO THOSE WHO CHOOSE MISUSE YOU
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO
GIVE THEM THE TOODLE-OO
GIVE THEM THE TOODLE-OO
It’s not ALL their fault
Wait, I take that back
Maybe they’re just bad for you
And if that’s a stone cold fact
Then say you’re dumpin’ everyone who’s bringing out your worst
And they are not the only one but their name came up first
GIVE YOUR TIME TO THOSE WHO NEED YOU
GIVE YOUR TRUST TO THE FRIENDS WHO ARE TRUE
BUT IF YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE TO THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO ABUSE YOU
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO
GIVE THEM THE TOODLE-OO
GIVE THEM THE TOODLE-OO BYE BYE,
If you’re thinking to yourself, Wow, Michael, that’s a bit harsh, I beg you to reconsider. Couldn’t the energy you’re spending dealing with a spirit-killing, joy-draining, hope-crushing icky-pooh person be better spent finding joy in a ka-trillion other ways. I hope we all know that SERVICE is a wonderful way to find joy and happiness in our lives, but TRUE service is NOT our caving in to manipulative emotional black mail that negative people try to throw in our face to keep themselves the center of the universe. Don’t fall for it. Your love and friendship are beautiful gifts that when freely given can bring some of the greatest and most perfect moments of happiness you’ll EVER know. But the key to those moments is that they are YOUR choice inspired by the One who knows better than you what’s going on at that very moment.
Before I end my musings, I think I should share something. In fact, I took a break to consider what I’m about to say carefully, and to get a diet soda. Think of this as my concluding “sip & share”. I’m much better at writing the song ABOUT giving someone the “toodle-oo” than actually doing it. I’m better at recognizing that it’s a good idea to do this than I am at making it happen. I’m pretty good at counseling people on ways they can remove the negative people from their lives than I am doing it myself. I’ll probably need several more years in therapy to discover why this is the case, but, for what it’s worth, I find I do far better when I’m RUNNING TO those that matter than RUNNING FROM those who don’t. When I let go of this need to appear to be the thoughtful and helpful guy to everyone everywhere and actually DO thoughtful and helpful things for those I love I think things are more in balance.
(Phone rings) Gotta go. Someone I love needs me.
