So many times in my life I have seen wonderful, faithful Saints blindsided by tragedies that threaten to undermine the very foundations of their faith: Two beautiful daughters are killed by a drunken driver on their way to sing at a friend’s mission farewell; a beloved child leaves home to live an alternative lifestyle and returns to his parents’ home dying of AIDS; an Aaronic priesthood holder becomes addicted to drugs and his promising life is wasted; one spouse in a covenant marriage learns that the other has been unfaithful and is unrepentant; the parents of a teenager learn that their son has taken his own life.
I know people who have experienced these tragedies and many others and have observed their desperate struggle to find some meaning in what has happened that would bring them peace of mind and understanding. Some have lost their faith and been unable to recover spiritually. Some live the rest of their lives asking the futile question “why?” And some are spiritually strengthened by tragedy.
Some heartaches can never be explained or understood, and for our lifetime we have to just hold on through all the hopelessness we feel, trusting that there is no earthly sorrow that heaven cannot heal.
There is Eternity (JKP, 1992)
(album: “In the Arms of His Love”)
Trials come on any days
They come in unexpected ways
‘Til sorrow seems more than the heart can hold
A broken dream, a loved one lost
Too deep the hurt, too high the cost
And questions stir within a troubled soul
But some heartaches just can never be explained
And no caring words can take away the pain
And just one saving thought remains
There is eternity to know the reason why
There is eternity for blessings now denied
There will our sorrows cease
There we’ll find lasting peace
Just hold on through all the hopelessness you feel
There is no earthly sorrow heaven cannot heal
Trials come to everyone,
From out of nowhere heartaches come
Where is the hand that heals and holds us up
A faithless love, a broken trust
A wound so painful, so unjust
And deep inside we cry, “It is too much!”
But some heartaches just can never be explained
And no caring words can take away the pain
And just one saving thought remains
There is eternity to heal a broken heart
There is eternity where loved ones never part
There we will understand
The Father’s loving plan
Just hold on through all the hopelessness you feel
There is no earthly sorrow heaven cannot heal
When hurt confuses me, my faith renews in me
One quiet thought that soothes my soul and carries me:
The Father knows my need
He answers when I plead,
“There is eternity.”
In 1992 I received a letter from a seventeen-year-old young woman named Liz Barson. When I opened the letter a picture fell out—a picture of a beautiful dark-haired girl in a long-sleeved white dress. I vaguely noticed her sweet expression and then began to read her letter.
Liz mentioned that she was often asked to speak at firesides and wondered if I would be willing to write a theme song for her programs. As I read on through the beautifully crafted penmanship in her letter, she told me more about herself and added almost as an afterthought, that she was asked to speak because she had been born with no arms and had learned a few things she could share with others.
She definitely had my attention at that point. I picked up the picture again and saw what I had not noticed the first time—the long white sleeves hung limply from her shoulders. My mind raced with a dozen questions as I tried to imagine living my life without arms or hands. How had she fixed her hair for the picture? How had she put her dress on? And buttoned or zipped it up? How had she written the letter?
I answered her immediately, saying that I would be honored to write the song, but I needed to know and understand her feelings before I could do so. I asked her to explain to me how her life had been so I would know what to write in the song. Also, I said, please tell me how you wrote that letter!
After a short delay, her carefully penned answered arrived. She explained to me that she holds the pen in her toes to write, and also to accomplish other daily tasks. But more than that she revealed some of the hurt she had endured through her life from thoughtless children, and the triumph she felt as friends matured and realized her true worth. The solid thread running through every sentence of her letter was how she drew strength from her Savior, Jesus Christ, who had been hurt and hated more than she could ever be.
I was touched by her faith and positive attitude and felt privileged to write her song. I also resolved to quit complaining about a disability with my left hand—so minor compared to her challenges. A few years after I wrote her song, I spoke at a chapel near Liz’s home. She joined me that day, spoke briefly, and sang her song to a most appreciative audience. She was a college student then, surrounded by great friends who came to hear her, and I marveled once more at her accomplishments and her great spirit.
He Gives Me Strength (JKP, 1992)
(album: “ He Gives Me Strength”)
He didn’t give me everything
I might have needed to take me far
He didn’t give me everything
I might have wanted to make me a star
If it were up to me, I might have chosen differently
But then maybe not, for I have been taught
By what He withheld from me
Chorus:
He gives me strength to make it
He heals my heart, when others break it
He’s there for me
He gives me strength to make it
He who Himself was hurt and hated
More than I could ever be–
He strengthens me
He didn’t give me everything
No silver platter, no life of ease
He didn’t give me everything
I might have needed to help me succeed
Yet in my heart I see, He knows what is best for me
So I will go on, and write my own song
With what He has given me
(Repeat chorus)
I’ll show my love for Him, I’ll put my trust in Him
Running the race, walking by faith
Until I’m home again with Him
(Repeat chorus)
Most of my life has been unusually peaceful and happy. Years ago I even found myself wondering why I didn’t seem to have the serious tests and trials that others had. And then out of the blue I experienced a series of traumatic events that made me wonder if I could ever be truly happy again. It seemed that the harder I petitioned the Lord for understanding and peace of mind, the farther I felt from Him. I prayed for light, and felt only darkness.
I had never felt so alone.
It seemed that the Lord had withdrawn His spirit from me, which seemed unfair, as I felt I had done nothing to displease Him.
This struggle persisted over some time. Eventually I had the feeling that the Lord was allowing me this experience to teach me things that I could learn in no other way. And although my specific prayers were seemingly unanswered, He had spoken to my mind on two or three occasions unexpectedly and much more directly than at any other time in my life.
Only with the perspective of time did I come to understand that He had always been watching over me, seeing things I could not see and answering in the timing He knew was best for my spiritual growth. When pride and will and hurt feelings were finally dissolved into a humble acceptance of His will, I was able to forgive what seemed unforgivable and emerge from the darkness with greater light.
He Was Watching Over Me (JKP, 2004)
(album: “By Small and Simple Means”)
I prayed for strength
He gave me weakness to make me strong
I prayed for light
He sent the darkness and hope seemed gone
At times I felt so all alone
As if He’d left me on my own
He didn’t seem to see it was too much for me
But weakness turned to strength
And darkness turned to light
And looking back I see
He was with me through the fight
Chorus:
Yes, He was watching over me
Seeing what I could not see
I guess He knew it all along
The things that hurt so much
Would make me strong
That in my hour of greatest need
I would turn to Him and let Him lead
I prayed for calm
He sent a tempest to make me bold
I prayed for sun
He sent a rainfall to cleanse my soul
I was a lamb out in the cold
Begging the Shepherd “bring me home”
Yet in my hour of need, He hid His face from me
But tempest turn to calm
And rain has turned to sun
And looking back I see
He was with me all along
(Repeat chorus)
Knowing He was watching over me
“Be still and know that I am God,” a simple but profound passage from Doctrine and Covenants 101:16, can bring comfort in every kind of trial as we realize that one far greater than we are is watching over the circumstances of our lives.
Our serious trials usually bring us to our knees imploring the Lord for understanding that can help us cope and find peace once more. Verse 1 of this song describes that struggle in which we eventually hear or feel the faintest whisper, “Be still . . .” Verse 2 describes the comforting feeling that our prayer is heard and that the Lord is aware of our distress. In Verse 3 we arise from our knees with the assurance that He who has borne all sorrows understands our pain and will bless us in His own time and in His own way.
After writing the hymn in a time of personal turmoil, I bought a little card that had these comforting scriptural words imprinted on it and laminated. I have often pulled the card out of my purse and received instant comfort just from having these powerful words pass through my mind: “Be still, and know that I am God.” I feel an instant laying of my burden at His feet.
Be Still, and Know That I Am God (JKP, 1989)
(album: “There will Be Light”)
In times of deepest trial I plead to find relief
On bended knee I seek Thee and pray I may find peace
And in that darkest hour comes the solace I have sought
I hear the faintest whisper, “Be still, & know that I am God”
I raise my eyes to heaven, I feel Thy presence near
And know that One who loves me has heard my searching prayer
Then gently Thou reminds me life’s battles must be fought
I hear Thee now more clearly, “Be still & know that I am God.”
I rise with sweet assurance, my pain to Thee is known
Thou knowest of my suff’ring, I do not walk alone
Thy perfect love has healed me because I have been taught
By One who bore all sorrows “Be still, & know that I am God”
Janice Kapp Perry: Composer, author, lecturer
Visit Janice Kapp Perry’s Website at janicekappperry.com
