Talk to the single adult members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints living in the greater Washington, D.C., area and you’ll hear a similar story over and over again.
They felt drawn to the city.
Sometimes it was for a job or an internship. Sometimes it was on the recommendation of a friend in the know, or an acquaintance they wanted to know better. Maybe it was the perfect grad program, or perhaps just a longing for adventure and a change of scenery. Some come wanting to stay forever; others come for four months and end up staying for years.
Yes, the stories are similar but the people are each individuals. And who are they, exactly? What really draws them to the Nation’s Capitol? How has this city become a magnet for the unmarried in the Latter-day Saint community?
This is one small glimpse into the lives of those single adults living in the one neighborhood at the heart of it all.
A Coming of Age
When taken alone, the individual steps that led Eric Cragun to Washington, D.C., are not remarkable. Near the end of his undergraduate studies, he applied for BYU’s Washington Seminar Internship Program. Although he loved his internship and living in D.C., Cragun always intended to return to Utah after the semester was over.
However, shortly into his post-graduation job search, it quickly became clear that the jobs—and life opportunities—he really wanted were right in front of him, not back in Utah. Ultimately, he accepted a job offer and moved to a more permanent place just on the northern edge of the city, in Bethesda, MD.
That’s not to say the transition from college life in Provo, Utah, to life on the East Coast was all that simple.
It took time for Cragun to establish friendships and just get to know Latter-day Saint singles in the area. He was used to the atmosphere of campus life at BYU, where all his neighbors were his fellow ward members too. Compared to the dense Mormon population and small boundaries of BYU student wards, any other ward seems very spread out, Cragun says.
Soon enough, though, Cragun began to warm to the city’s charms. D.C. seemed to hold an abundance of possibilities, opportunities, activities and free things to do. Most especially, as he began to make friends in his ward, he found himself impressed by the people.
“I appreciate that people here are mature,” Cragun says. “We are working and have other responsibilities. Many people here are transitioning from college to working life. This is as good a place as any for a coming of age.”
As for what has kept him here all these years, Cragun says it is a classic example of the whole being greater than the individual parts.
“It’s the sum total of everything,” he says. “D.C. is a place that plays to my strengths. Not just in a career sense, but in a lifestyle sense. There are activities I enjoy and experiences that have made my life better. There is a lot of diversity, something that I love. I love being around people and trying to understand people, why they think and act and believe in the way that they do.”
During his five years in the D.C. area, Cragun has met and gotten to know lots of people, especially through service in the Church. After attending the D.C. 2nd Young Single Adult Ward for three years, he moved across the Potomac River to Arlington, VA, and into the Colonial 1st Young Single Adult Ward.
Through serving and participating in these two wards, Cragun has helped to lead the member missionary efforts and organize service activities. The current project he’s a part of is a 300+ person, multi-venue, day-of-service in the neighborhood surrounding the Church’s newest meetinghouse in Arlington, which is scheduled to take place in early May. The service projects will be followed by an open house at the new building where the Colonial 1st and 2nd YSA and the Potomac Single Adult Wards will hold Sunday meetings.
“The single adult wards in this area give us a chance to accept and take on responsibilities,” Cragun says. “In both the wards I’ve been in, the bishoprics have done their part but let the administration of the ward fall to singles. We are adults and are able to run a functioning ward with every degree of capability as a family ward.”
For nearly a decade Brad Wellington served as a counselor in the bishopric and as the bishop of the Colonial 1st Ward. He saw first-hand the strength and support that comes from this strong network of single adults.
“The members of the singles wards serve faithfully in callings, not just in their wards but throughout the stake,” he says. “They provide an army of adults available for service projects, and they set a great example for the youth of the stake and community.”
Lots of skill, including coordination, efficiency, delegation and taking responsibility, are all required to address the needs of the members and run these wards, which average more than 250 members with a high percentage of those actively participating.
“It’s been impressive to see the bishoprics who give advice and counsel only when it’s really needed,” he says. “This independence allows ward members to develop skills in administering as well as ministering.”
A Place to Draw Strength
Jenny Olsen, too, has seen her fellow ward members reach out and give the service Cragun describes. During the ups and downs of moving to D.C. for a second time, getting established in a career and building a life for herself, Olsen has found deep friendships to be a perfect antidote to the constant changes of life.
She gains strength from an almost instant pool of friends and Church activities where she can meet and get to know people better.
“I could be doing something every night of the week related to Church,” Olsen says. “This instant network of people is comforting. It’s a constant.”
Those friends provide support and are an example to her, most especially during the tough times.
“It is pretty inspiring to be around people who aren’t perfect,” she says. “Knowing that everyone has gone through hard things, but they still are going to Church and still trying. It’s like I’m drawing strength from the human side.”
This sentiment and experience is not a surprise to Wellington, the former YSA ward bishop.
“The members of the ward care for each other,” he explains. “They provide friendship and fellowship each other, a network for professional advancement and they are good examples in professional and community settings of excellent character and solid employees.”
He adds that this strong single adult community is impressive for the commitment of individual members to love and serve God and each other.
“They are generous with their time and money,” Wellington says. “I am impressed at how they help each other meet challenges by providing spiritual and temporal support through their callings and service opportunities in the Church as well as through friendship.”
Olsen says in turn for the hand of friendship extended to her in times of need, she does feel a responsibility to seek out fellow ward members who might need an extra friend too.
“Sometimes you look at the mass of people and they all sort of seem the same,” says Olsen. “But you know that everyone struggles. Just because they are smiling, doesn’t mean they feel that inside. You have to be more proactive to know what is in their heart.”
And there is a larger lesson to be learned, Olsen says, beyond just friends and an active social scene. With all the change that comes with life in your 20s, she says, the gospel is the most constant aspect of her life right now.
“I’ve learned that I always want to have the gospel in my life,” she says. “It gives my life the most meaning. It’s not my job and it’s not really even the people. It’s not how much I know or where I’ve been. But rather the gospel, the way I live it and how dedicated I am to the Savior is what brings my life meaning.”
A Leap of Faith
After thirteen years of living in Salt Lake City, Adam Nilsen had a good job and a good life, but he also had an itch for change and a longing for something else.
Even a job offer in Denver didn’t seem to satisfy that longing. Instead he found a room to rent in the D.C. area, a city where he had no job and only knew a couple of people. But somewhere in his heart there was a persistent feeling that this just might lead to the change he sought. After much thought, deliberation and prayer, he quit his good job, packed up all his belongings in his car and started driving east.
Nilsen soon found the first few steps in a 2,000+ mile life relocation trip are rather daunting. Doubt about the wisdom of his decision and a major snowstorm in Wyoming tested his conviction.
“But then I had the thought, I am just going. I want to make this change,” Nilsen said. “It’s like jumping off a cliff. It’s a leap of faith.”
The search for a job took longer than expected due to the recent recession. However, Nilsen was fortunate to have a freelance job as a financial analyst for a company back in Utah. Eventually he found a position at a nonprofit organization with an international mission, a quick 10-minute walk from the house he shares with several friends in the Crystal City neighborhood of Arlington, VA.
Just about 16 months ago, the Church organized a single adult ward the stake where Nilsen lives, the Mt. Vernon Stake. Like the Colonial 1st and 2nd YSA wards, the Potomac Ward is made up of single adults. Unlike the YSA wards, where the members range in age from 18-30, the Potomac Ward members are between the ages of 31-55.
The Potomac Ward is one of two wards for unmarried members of the Church over 31 created in the last decade. The ward was organized to better meet the needs of single members in the area, says President William Nixon of the Mt. Vernon Virginia Stake .
“In our area we had a tremendous need for an organization with direct priesthood oversight that could facilitate, create and nurture these incredible single adults,” Nixon says.
According to Nixon there are approximately 900 members of his stake who are between the ages of 31-55 and unmarried, equal to the number of young single adults (ages 18-30).
The creation of the Potomac Ward just over a year after Nilsen moved to D.C. gave him another choice to make. He had been perfectly happy attending and serving in the Crystal City Ward, a traditional family congregation, which in its own right contains a thriving single adult population.
Ultimately, Nilsen says, “I decided to switch to the Potomac Ward because I felt like I would be needed there. I feel like I fill a valuable niche; a core part of the ward.”
That is exactly the point of the Potomac Ward, says Nixon.
“The ward gives a sense of place, a sense of being, leadership opportunities,” he says. “Most importantly every week there is someone new to meet. New friendships on every level, which all can bring tremendous blessings.”
Nilsen feels that decision and the time he’s dedicated to the Potomac Ward have paid off tremendously.
“It has been a great experience and has given me confidence in my life,” he says.
Although he misses some perks of a family ward, like seeing children and families at Church, he enjoys the companionship of many others who are in his same stage in life. The friends he has made among the single adult community in the ward and stake is one of the best things about living here for Nilsen.
“There are more people that are like me here,” says Nilsen. “They are curious. They want to achieve, progress, grow and learn.”
And so it is, no matter who you talk to and what story they tell. Whether it’s a time growth and maturity, a test of faith, or a time to give and receive strength from others, what matters most to the single adults in the Washington, D.C., area is the chance to live the Gospel and love the Savior together.
“It’s a community, Nilsen says. “People are kind and open and real. I have found them to be intelligent, highly focused and interesting. They are living the Gospel and striving to become more like the Savior.”
———-
Emily Hellewell lives in Arlington, VA, and works in public relations at a national media organization in Washington, D.C. She is a native of Oregon and a graduate of Brigham Young University. Emily likes a good exploration and travels through foreign lands. But she’s just as content with a movie, a walk, or a cup of hot chocolate surrounded by family and friends.
