Travel

The television commercials and the ship’s brochures say it all.  If you take a cruise you’ll be treated like a celebrity, and you’ll have the time of your life.  The very idea of going to sleep in one city – or even one country – and waking up in another is the height of opulence.  But is that opulence too much for a typical Mormon couple?  Do Latter-day Saint families deserve to treat themselves to such outlandish pleasures?

A lot of people who have never been on a cruise wonder if they would enjoy the cruising lifestyle.  The easiest way to answer them is to take them on a cruise so they can see for themselves.  But just in case you can’t drop everything and go on a practice cruise to see if you’d enjoy the real thing, here are the answers to some of the more common questions you may have about cruising. 

Cruising shows you things you would otherwise never see, such as this blowhole near Ensenada, Mexico.

1.       Is a cruise as good a value as a vacation on land?

Lots of people never consider a cruise because they think it’s something that only the rich do.  That used to be the case until a few years ago, when the cruise lines lowered their prices and changed their marketing to target average travelers and families with children.

Based on our experience, a cruise is every bit as good a value as an equivalent vacation on land.  Bargains abound if you know where to look for them.  In fact, if you take a look at the cruises that are available through the cruises, you’ll find cruises that cost considerably less than $100 per day, per person.  There are not many vacations you can take as a couple that cost less than $100 per day, even if you’re only staying at the local Holiday Inn and eating at family restaurants.  And if your idea of a vacation is to take the family to a theme park, you may find that a cruise costs considerably less than what you’re used to spending on a family trip.

Consider that a cruise vacation is a package deal that consists of transportation, lodging, food – make that good food! – and quality entertainment.  How much would you pay for all of these items if you stayed an equivalent length of time in New York or Anaheim?

2.       How does a cruise fit in with my Mormon lifestyle?

You don’t have to leave your religion at home to enjoy a cruise vacation.  Yes, there are casinos on most ships.  But most cruisers – LDS and non-Mormon alike – never set foot in a casino or purchase a bingo card.  You don’t have to spin a roulette wheel to feel as though you’re taking advantage of the best that cruise ships have to offer.

You will be offered coffee at breakfast, and a wine steward may ask you every night of the cruise if you want an alcoholic beverage with your meal.  All you have to do is smile and say no.  There are many cruisers who don’t drink.  In fact, there are probably more people who don’t drink than who do.  It’s not a big deal.  The same is true of smokers.  These days, you don’t often run into smokers on a ship.  Smoking is not allowed in the restaurants or the theatres.  Usually smoking is only allowed on one side of the ship, on deck and in the public lounges.  You don’t have to breathe cigarette smoke except on the rare occasions when someone who is breaking the rules crosses your path on the nonsmoking side of the ship.

Speaking of the theaters and the public lounges, there is a wide variety of entertainment on cruise ships.  A seven-day cruise usually features comedians, jugglers, singers, dancers, magicians, Chinese acrobats, and other entertainment.  One cruise line, Celebrity, is even going to add a Cirque du Soleil troupe to its on-board entertainment.

As with the entertainment you see on television or in movie theatres, shipboard entertainment appeals to a wide variety of tastes.  Sometimes the fare is so inoffensive that anyone would enjoy it.  Other times, the humor may be slightly off-color or the costumes may be so scanty that you may be uncomfortable.  If you’re afraid you may find the entertainment objectionable, go to the earlier shows.  (Off-color humor usually makes its appearance later at night.)  But in any case, you can sit on the aisle and vote with your feet if you don’t appreciate the entertainment.  If you don’t like the show that is being presented in the main theatre, there are plenty of other things to do on board that will appeal to you.

Some cruise ships specialize in wet t-shirt contests, while others target their entertainment more towards a family crowd.  Some cruise lines target families with young children, while others advertise to attract older retired passengers.  If you want some information about a specific cruise ship, go to the Cruise Critic website (https://www.cruisecritic.com/) and scroll down the left side of the home page.  Not only does the site explain about the types of cruising (with family cruises being the first ones on the list), but you can also read ship reviews for individual ships in a cruise company’s line, or for individual cruise lines.  These reviews will tell you exactly what you can expect from a particular line or ship.

click to enlarge

Cruising puts you in touch with nature.  This butterfly farm was spotted in Aruba.

3.       Am I going to get seasick on a cruise?

This is one of the most common questions we hear, and it probably the one cruising fear that is the most groundless.  You probably won’t even think about getting seasick on a cruise.  These days, ships are built with such good stabilizers that most of the time the only way you know whether the ship is moving is to look out a window and see if the land is standing still.  You will often feel a pleasant vibration when the engines are running, but there is no rocking back and forth unless you are unlucky enough to get into a patch of really rough seas.  This is not to say there are not rough days at sea, but even if you are highly susceptible to carsickness there are remedies that can help you.  You can be protected from seasickness by sea bracelets, by seasickness patches, or by motion sickness medicine. 

If you’re afraid you may get seasick on a cruise, buy some of the over-the-counter seasickness medicine that does not cause drowsiness, or have your doctor outfit you with a seasickness patch.  When you’re wearing the patch or after you have taken the medicine, do something that would normally cause you to have severe motion sickness.  If you don’t get motion sickness – and you probably won’t – you are a good candidate for cruising. 

One thing about seasickness is that if you wait until you’re seasick to take the remedy, it’s too late for the medicine to do you any good.  If you’re prone to motion sickness, getting the patch may be the ideal solution for you.

If you are still nervous about seasickness, do a little research.  The newer ships have better stabilizers than the old ones.  If the ship you’re considering was built after early-to-mid 1990s, you’re probably dealing with a ship that will not have any problem with typical seas.

4.       Are there additional expenses after I’ve paid for my cruise?

Make no mistake about it, you can spend a whole lot more money on your cruise than the sticker price of the cruise would indicate.  But you don’t have to spend this extra money.  There is nobody standing there making you pay $1.50 for a soft drink or $280 for a helicopter ride.  If you want soft drinks or bottled water without paying extra for them, you can carry them onboard with you and nobody will bat an eye. 

The same is true for shore excursions.  Yes, you can pay $300 or more for a shore excursion, but you don’t have to.  Many people decide that if they’re only going to a place once in their lives, they want to spend the extra money and do something they’ve always dreamed of doing – no matter what the price.  At the other extreme, there are lots of passengers who don’t even care about the itinerary because they never get off the ship until the cruise is over.  Most cruisers fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.  There are great shore excursions available through the cruise line, and many of them are in the $30-range.  Or you can wait till you get on shore and find cut-rate shore excursions there.  You can have just as much fun on a budget as you can with a platinum card.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

If you’re interested in shore excursions, the Cruise Critic website (https://www.cruisecritic.com/) also has a message board where you can chat with cruisers who have been to the same places you’re going to visit.  They are more than happy to tell you about cheap things to do in every port of call.

The big new trend in cruise ships is to offer optional restaurants on board, where you can pay a $15 surcharge (or more!) per person and get exceptional cuisine.  There’s no need to spend the extra money, and indeed on some ships the food is no better than what you’d get in the free restaurant.  And nobody will twist your arm to make you purchase souvenirs.  It’s possible to go on a cruise and never spend a penny more than the cost of your cruise and transportation – with the one important exception that your waiters and cabin steward need to be tipped.  Count on a minimum of $10 per cruiser, per day, that should be spent on tips.

One problem is that most of the cruise lines make it so easy to spend money.  You usually get a plastic card (much like a credit card) that serves as your identification and your room key.  You can also use this card in the gift shops and other stores on board to charge items to your account, as well as to book items such as shore excursions or purchase the non-alcoholic drink of the day.  The cruise lines call this “cashless cruising,” and it does make it very nice to be able to leave your wallet in your cabin and have everything placed on a common bill that can be paid with a credit card at the end of the cruise.  But you need to be a little cautious to avoid the sticker shock that is common for many cruisers.

5.       Am I going to be able to make new friends on my cruise?  Alternately, Am I going to have to spend my time with a lot of tacky strangers?

Happily, the cruise companies know that some people who go on cruises are extraverts who are hoping to make new friends and other cruisers are introverts who already have all the friends they need.  Ample opportunities are given for both types of cruisers to satisfy their wishes, making everyone happy.

If you’re looking for friends, the best way to do it is to ask to share a table at dinner.  Tables for six offer the best opportunities for conversation.  Once you get a table for eight, people have to shout across the table and the intimacy is lost.  You can make great friends at mealtime, as you share your experiences of the cruise so far and your anticipation of what will happen on the remainder of the trip.

Other places to meet people are on shore excursions (especially if you find yourself in a small tour) and at shipboard activities.  There are always opportunities to make friends over a craft project, join somebody’s trivia contest team, or otherwise mingle with other travelers.

If you’re looking for a little solitude, all you have to do is to say the word.  You can request a table for two at dinner from your travel agent, or in the new “free choice” cruises you can ask for a table for two every night you go to dinner.  This way you and your traveling companion don’t have to dine with strangers.  When you’re on shore excursions you don’t have to mingle with the other guests, and you certainly don’t have to participate in the cruise activities that are designed to help guests befriend one another.  Depending on your wishes, you can make friends for life on a cruise or you can get some personal one-on-one time with your chosen companion.  Or, you can just sit out on a deck chair and enjoy the sea and a good book.

Another option is to take your friends with you.  Traveling with others is a lot of fun.  You don’t have to be joined at the hip, either.  You can all do what you want to do throughout the day and then arrange to meet one another at the dinner table.  One popular item in the ship gift shop is a walkie-talkie system that will allow you to communicate with fellow travelers anywhere on the ship.

click to enlarge

Cruising can put you in the middle of Book of Mormon lands. 

6.       Am I going to have to dress up on a cruise?  It’s not a vacation if I have to wear my Sunday best. 

There was a time when people going on a cruise had to pack the formal gown and the monkey suit, but those days are on their way out.  Too many cruisers believe that it really isn’t a vacation if a person has to get dressed for dinner.  This has led to formal-optional cruises on most of the cruise lines in America.  (A few lines, most notably Celebrity and Holland America, still insist that cruisers dress appropriately for dinner, but even then you can wear Sunday best instead of renting the formalwear.)

The “free choice” cruising allows patrons to dress (within limits) in the way they’d like to dress.  This means that even on formal night you can wear a nice pair of slacks and a blouse or a polo shirt and feel as though you won’t be looked down on by the staff.  You can also eat when you’re hungry instead of when the clock tells you it’s time for dinner, and you can even imperiously tell the maitre d’ that you want a table for two because you don’t want to sit next to any tacky strangers. 

The freedom of the “choice” cruising may be heady, but it comes with a price.  Traditional cruising had an early seating and a late seating, and in order to accommodate everyone the maitre d’ would assign everyone to a table and a seating time.  You’d eat every dinner at that table, at that time.  This meant the waiters would try very hard to make you happy.  Otherwise you wouldn’t tip them at the end of the cruise, and the tip is their living wage. 

Now that people are eating when they want to, there are no longer early seatings and late seatings, so you end up with the luck of the draw as far as waiters are concerned.  You may ask to sit at that crazy Romanian waitress’s table, but if her tables are full you’re out of luck.  The waiters just don’t try as hard as they used to, because in all likelihood you’re never going to see them again.  With “free choice” cruising, tips are usually automatically charged to your room account, so the bad waiters now get just as much as the good ones.  That good old American incentive (being an oxymoron because almost no cruise ship employees come from the United States) is gone.  This is not to say you still won’t get excellent service on a cruise, but it is just not quite as good on the ships that have choice dining as it is on the ones that don’t,

As you book your cruise – – you may want to see what kind of dress codes there are for the ship you’re considering.  Either way, you’ll be getting a good experience – but for different reasons.

7.       Will I get bored on a cruise?

If you get bored on a cruise, it’s not the fault of the cruise line!  Every night a newsletter will magically appear on your pillow (next to a piece of chocolate!), detailing everything that’s going to happen during the course of the next day.  Activities start at around 6 a.m. and continue till the wee hours of the morning.  Usually you’ll find several activities every hour that you’d like to attend, so you’ll have to choose from the list.  This schedule will include lectures, dancing, crafts, exercise groups, trivia contests, cooking lessons, and just about anything else you can think of.  There’s usually an art auction held on every sea day (a day when you don’t have a port stop), and if you think it wouldn’t be fun to see people fork over $14,000 for an original Picasso you haven’t seen an auction in action.  Some ships even have putting greens and rock-climbing walls. 

If you have children, you’ll be glad to know there are children’s programs that are so extensive you may never see your children once you’re on the ship.  These are more than simple babysitting services.  Indeed, your children may feel sorry for you because you have to do all the grown-up activities, instead of the great things they’re doing to spend their days.  You can even hire babysitters for children who are too young for the children’s program, although there is an additional charge for that.

On many ships there are restaurants that are open 24 hours a day, just in case you start feeling bored and want to fill your time by eating.  There is also a ship’s library, and a game room, and a gym, and a spa, and usually a movie theater.  There are also second-run movies piped to the television in your room, in case you’d like to watch a movie in your jammies.  (And if you want refreshments, order from the room service menu that is free except for the tip you’d give to the waiter who brings it.)  If you prefer live entertainment, there are big shows in the show lounge and little dance bands playing throughout the ship. 

Of course, there are many cruisers who ignore all that in favor of their own entertainment.  Some people spend the entire cruise playing bridge or mahjong with a group of dedicated players.  Many more find a place to camp on one of the outside decks, ostensibly reading or getting a tan but more likely snoozing or watching the ocean waves. 

There are computers on cruise ships that you can use for an exorbitant sum.  But part of the attraction of a cruise is that you’re away from computers and cell phones and the rest of the trappings of life.

8.       Will my cabin be comfortable enough for me to live in?

Most people are more than comfortable in a cruise ship cabin.  Yes, there’s not a lot of floor space in most ship’s cabins – but cruise ship designers are expert at making a little room go a long way.  Most cabins are equipped with two twin beds (which can be pushed together by your cabin steward to make one king bed), a television, a desk, a sofa or chairs, a nightstand or two, a closet, a telephone, and some built-in drawers for your belongings.  Many of the newer cruise ships also provide refrigerators, personal safes, and video players. 

Cabin bathrooms may be the size of a postage stamp, but they’re equipped so that you can get the job done.  Even passengers who are greatly oversized can usually maneuver in a ship’s bathroom.  After all, dealing with a cabin bathroom is one of the adventures of cruising!

People often want to book inside cabins to save money, but they worry that they might feel closed in if there isn’t a window.  Most of those worries are groundless.  The inside cabins, which often have simulated windows, are nice and cozy.  If you think you may be claustrophobic in an inside cabin, book a short cruise to see how you like it. 

Another thing to keep in mind is that you will probably spend little time in your cabin.  You will go there to sleep and change clothes, but many people spend most of their waking hours in the public rooms of the ship.  This is not to say that you cannot be a hermit and spend the entire cruise in your cabin, but most people prefer to be elsewhere.

9.       Will I feel trapped on a cruise ship?  Will I be surrounded by people everywhere I look?

With all the things there are to do on a cruise ship (see #7 above), you shouldn’t feel at all trapped.  In fact, it’s quite common to go the whole length of the cruise and never see the whole ship because you’re quite happy staying in a few favorite spots.  Every morning that isn’t a sea day you’ll wake up in some new port, so the scenery outside the ship is always changing.  Being trapped isn’t a concern for people once they’ve spent any time cruising.

As for people, you might be surprised how easily you can avoid them.  There are always rooms where you can go to read all by yourself.  There are always hidden places on deck where you can drag a deck chair and spend some quality time alone, reading or dozing or watching the waves.  Not only will you not feel trapped on a cruise ship, but you will probably approach the end of your cruise with dread.  The last few days of a cruise are often spent fantasizing about how you could stow away and spend another week on board.

Most cruise ships are so huge that it’s like being on a giant floating city.  In fact, if you come from a small town, there might be more to do on board than there is at home.  So if you’re bored in your cabin, just walk around and explore somewhere you haven’t been before.

click to enlarge

Cruising can teach you what relaxing is all about. 

10.   Is there going to be food I like on the ship?  I’m a very fussy eater!

No matter what kind of food you like, there will be food aplenty for you on a cruise ship.  There’s a formal dining room for people who want three meals per day served by waiters, but there’s always a buffet for people who like informal dining.  On sunny days there’s usually a barbecue on one of the decks for people who like hamburgers and hot dogs.  Sandwiches are always available somewhere on the ship or through room service, too. 

If you’re a food snob there are often premium restaurants where you can pay extra to get extra-fancy food.  But you’re not going to need those premium restaurants, because there is usually food of some kind available twenty-four hours a day.  Don’t forget the chocoholics’ buffet that many cruise lines have, or the Procession of the Baked Alaskas, which is held on cruise ships that have early and late seatings for dinner.  Some ships even have a midnight buffet, where those who can stay awake late can feast themselves on even more food.

*****

If you’re one of those people who think cruising is only “for the rich,” please think again.  Recent changes have made cruising affordable to just about any budget.  You may have to pinch pennies for several months or even years, but the result will be worth it.  The past four cruises we have taken have been with first-time cruisers who wanted someone else along to show them the ropes.  Since then, all four of these friends have asked us when we can go again, and have been forwarding us great cruise deals they have found.