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By Kevin Broderick, M.S., LMFT
In an era of shifting values and activists’ agendas, it can be an unpopular proposition to espouse true doctrine. Living and proclaiming such values in a “politically correct” world is often viewed as judgmental, intolerant, and insensitive. Despite the threat of being viewed as such, I will document six points of true doctrine that, if understood and followed, would heal the pains and misfortunes of millions of children.
(1) The Law of Chastity
In the mid 1960’s, seven percent of all births in the United States occurred out of wedlock. By the year 1999, the number of out of wedlock births rose to thirty three percent – or 1.30 million (National Vital Statistics Reports, 2000). Further, researches have documented that nearly one half of all pregnancies in the United States are unintended (Henshaw, 1998).
In The Family: A Proclamation to the World (1995), we are reminded that, “The sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”
If this one doctrine were understood and followed, how many unwed pregnancies would occur? What would that mean for children?
(2) Sanctity of Life
In the United States, about one half of all unintended pregnancies are terminated by abortion (Henshaw, 1998). In the year 2000, 1.31 million abortions took place (Jones, et al., 2002).
Our modern day prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley (1998), has directly addressed this issue;
How wonderful a thing is a child! How beautiful is a newborn babe. There is no greater miracle than the creation of human life. Abortion is an ugly thing, a debasing thing, a thing which inevitably brings remorse and sorrow and regret. While we denounce it, we make allowance in such circumstances as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have serious defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth. But such instances are rare, and there is only a negligible probability of their occurring. There is a far better way. If there is no prospect of marriage to the man involved, leaving the mother alone, there remains the very welcome option of placing the child for adoption by parents who will love it and care for it. There are many such couples in good homes who long for a child and cannot have one (p. 70).
Likewise, in The Family: A Proclamation to the World (1995), we read, “We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.” If we all understood and genuinely valued the sanctity of life, how many abortions would there be?
(3) Child Entitlement
Nearly 20 million children in the United States live in single-parent homes (National Fatherhood Initiative). Children of single parents:
- Are more likely to divorce
- Are more likely to become unwed parents themselves
- Are more likely to experience poverty
- Are more likely to experience physical and mental health challenges
- Are more likely to abuse drugs
- Are more likely to commit suicide or engage in criminal behavior
- Tend to have lower grades and are less likely to attend college
- Experience higher rates of unemployment than children who live with married parents (Ensign, 2005).
- More than 70 percent of juveniles in state reform institutions are from fatherless homes (National Council for Adoption).
Some 24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father (National Fatherhood Initiative). Researchers have concluded that father hunger is the primary cause of the declining well-being of children in our society and is associated with social problems such as teenage pregnancy, child abuse, and domestic violence against women (Blackenhorn, 1995; Herzog, 2001)
The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles solemnly proclaim that, “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, 1995).
In addition, the First Presidency boldly wrote that unwed parents,
.who do not marry should not be counseled to keep the infant as a condition of repentance or out of a sense of obligation to care for one’s own. Unwed parents are not able to provide the blessings of the sealing covenant. Further, they are generally unable to provide a stable, nurturing environment which is so essential for the baby’s well-being (First Presidency Letter, 2002).
If we truly understood the principle of child entitlement, how many children would struggle in single parent homes? How many “fatherless” children would there be?
(4) Blessings of the Covenant
What are the blessings that children receive who are sealed to a mother and a father? The First Presidency (2002) wrote, “Children sealed to parents have claim upon the blessings of the gospel beyond what others are entitled to receive.”
Joseph Fielding Smith (1955) taught that children sealed to parents:
.may receive a greater guidance, a greater protection, a greater inspiration from the Spirit of the Lord; and then there is no power that can take them away from their parents.if the children do not sin as John says, “unto death,” the parents may still feel after them and eventually bring them back near to them again (p. 90).
Brigham Young (1977) noted, that children who are sealed, “are legal heirs to the kingdom and to all its blessings and promises, and they are the only ones that are on this earth” (p. 202).
How would society and the welfare of children be different if there were more infants sealed to temple worthy parents?
(5) Sacred Duties
In 2001, welfare authorities substantiated 903,000 cases of child abuse and neglect (Child trends Data Bank, 2003). These are situations that were actually reported to proper authorities, investigated, and authenticated. In 2002, approximately 1,400 children died due to abuse or neglect (National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information, 2004).
In 2003, 800,000 children were placed in foster care homes in the United States. By the end of that year, 523,000 children were still in foster care. Rates of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder among adults who were formerly in foster care were twice as high as U.S. war veterans. The majority of adults faced major challenges in the areas of mental health, education, and employment; one third had no health insurance and lived at or below poverty; one fourth experienced homelessness after foster care. Each year 20,000 young people between the ages of 18 and 21 must leave the foster care system and are left without any support, family connections, or the skills they need to succeed in life (Casey Family Programs, 2005).
In 1999, there were more than 127,000 distressed children waiting for an adoptive home. Of those children, 46,000 were actually adopted (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2001).
Through the gospel we are taught that, “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives – mothers and fathers – will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, 1995).
If all parents truly understood their sacred duties, how many abused and neglected children would there be? How many children would need foster care? How many needy children would be waiting for an adoptive home?
(6) Divine Parental Responsibilities
Trends towards devaluing the significance of both mothers and fathers in a child’s life are growing. This is evident in the media, public education, political agendas and professional research. Author and researcher, A. Dean Byrd (2004) wrote, “Attempts have been made in professional literature to blur the lines between genders, and to claim that neither mothers nor fathers are necessary for positive child outcomes. Such research has become more and more bold with their activist agendas” (p. 215).
In The Family: A Proclamation to the World (1995), we learn,
By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
Each parental role is essential for the well-being of children. If we all fully understood the true nature of Divine parental responsibilities, how would the lives of parents be improved? How would the lives of children be improved?
Counsel to Unwed Parents
Congruent with the doctrinal principles noted above, the First Presidency (2002) offers the following counsel to Church leaders,
When a man and woman conceive a child out of wedlock, every effort should be made to encourage them to marry. When the probability of a successful marriage is unlikely due to age or other circumstances, unwed parents should be counseled to place the child for adoption through LDS Family Services to ensure that the baby will be sealed to temple-worthy parents. Adoption is an unselfish, loving decision that blesses both the birth parents and the child in this life and in eternity.Unmarried parents should give prayerful consideration to the best interests of the child and the blessings that can come to an infant who is sealed to a mother and father.Related guidance can also be found on page seven of the new book published by the Church, True to the Faith.
Birth parents who choose adoption;
- Are more likely to complete high school and go on to higher education
- Are more likely to be employed and less likely to live in poverty or receive public assistance
- Are less likely to repeat out-of-wedlock pregnancy
(Ensign, 2002)
According to research compiled by the National Council for Adoption, adolescents, who were adopted as infants, demonstrate noteworthy signs of well being in areas such as:
- School performance
- Friendships
- Volunteerism
- Optimism
- Self-esteem
- Social competency
- Feelings of support from others
- Low levels of anxiety
Adopted adolescents scored low on indicators of high risk behaviors such as:
- Use of alcohol
- Depression
- Vandalism
- Group fighting
- Theft
- Weapon use
(National Council For Adoption, Adoption Awareness, 2005)
LDS Family Services has hundreds of sealed and temple worthy couples hoping to adopt an infant child. You can see their pictures and read about them at www.itsaboutlove.org. The agency ensures that children placed for adoption are sealed to temple worthy parents.
Despite the Counsel of the First Presidency and the noted positive factors for birth parents and adopted children, only 1.9 percent of infants born out of wedlock are placed for adoption (National Council for Adoption, 1999, p. 41). Forty years ago, marriage and adoption were the two most popular alternatives that benefited children of unwed parents. Today, abortion or single parenting is their principal fate.
When a child is born to unwed parents, how could adoption benefit the birth parents? How would adoptive parents benefit? Most importantly, how can adoption benefit the life of a child?
Conclusion
Elder Boyd K. Packer (2004) taught, “True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The Study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.” Though it may not be “politically correct” to espouse such doctrines and values, the temporal and eternal welfare of God’s children is at stake. May we better understand and live true doctrine in our lives for children truly are “an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3).
References
Blankenhorn, D. (1995). Fatherless America: Confronting our most urgent social problem. New York: Basic.
Byrd, A. Dean. (2004). Gender Complementarity and Child-rearing: Where Tradition and Science Agree. Journal of Law and Family Studies, Volume, 6, Number 2, pp. 213-235.
Casey Family Programs (2005). Improving Family Foster Care: Findings from the Northwest Foster Care Alumni Study, www.casey.org/Resources/Publications.
Child Trends Data Bank (2003). Cross Currents, https://childtrendsdatabank.org.
Ensign (2002). Adoption and the Unwed Mother, February, p. 63.
Ensign (2005). Strengthening the Family: Within the Bonds of Matrimony, August, p. 16.
First Presidency Letter (2002). Adoption and Unwed Parents, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. June.
Henshaw, SK (1998). Unintended pregnancies in the United States, Family Planning Perspectives, 30(1): 24-29 & 46.
Herzog, J.M. (2001). Father hunger. Hillsdale, New Jersey: The analytic Press.
Hinckley, Gordon B. (1998). What Are People Asking about Us? Ensign, November.
Jones, RK, Darroch JE and Henshaw SK (2002). Patterns in the socioeconomic characteristics of women obtaining abortions in 2000-2001, Perspectives on Sexual Reproductive Health, 34(5):226-235).
National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information (2004). Child Abuse and Neglect Fatalities: Statistics and Interventions https://nccanch.acf.hhs.gov .
National Council For Adoption (2005). Adoption Awareness: Consider the possibilities, Adoption Liaison Workbook.
National Council for Adoption (1999). National Adoption Data, Adoption Factbook III. Park Press Quality Printing, Inc..
National Council for Adoption. Unmarried parents today: Effects of single parenting on children, Washington, D.C..
National Fatherhood Initiative. Father facts: top 10 father facts, www.fatherhood.org/fatherfacts_t10.asp.
National Vital Statistics Reports (2000). Nonmarital Childbearing in the United States, 1940-1999, Vol. 28(16) October 18.
Packer, Boyd K. (2004). Do Not Fear, Ensign, May, 77.
Popenoe, D. (1996). Life without father. New York: Mark Kessler Books, The Free Press.
Smith, Joseph Fielding (1955). Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 2. Bookcraft.
The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (2001), Children’s Bureau, AFCARS REPORT 6, at 1. June.
Young, Brigham (1977). Discourses of Brigham Young. Deseret Book.
2006 Meridian Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
















