| Contentment: Inspiring Insights for LDS Mothers By Maria Covey Cole Reviewed by Catherine K. Arveseth I have come to recognize when “just the right book” appears on my doorstep for review at “just the right time.” The arrival of Maria Covey Cole’s book was such a time. It came three days after my husband and I learned we are expecting our second set of twins. Still reeling from the news that we would soon be parents to five children ages four and under, I chuckled as I placed Cole’s book on the kitchen counter. “Contentment” I thought to myself. The next night, I cracked it open. Having children did not come easily for us. For years we faced many disappointments. Eventually, with the aid of wonderful doctors and new fertility procedures, we were able to bring three beautiful daughters into our family. Our oldest is three and our twin girls just turned two. One final fertility attempt before moving from the Washington DC area also proved successful and at 16 weeks gestation, we were surprised (understatement) to discover one embryo had split into two and we would be having identical twin boys! I know this is God’s intent for me as a mother. I know it is a heavenly gift. Yet even with this assurance, I confess I’ve had some sleepless nights wondering how I am going to manage this new challenge. Yes, I’ve done twins before – but not with three other children very close in age and need vying for my attention. I’m already stretching myself to be patient at the end of long days. I get tired just thinking about dual nighttime feedings. And with a husband who often works past dinnertime, I’ve been known to complain about weathering the “melt down” hours alone, grumbling as I clean up countless liquid messes off the floor, and groaning as I chase two toddlers around the house who have escaped their diapers and left incriminating evidence behind! Am I up for this again? And if I am, can I feel content about it? Let’s face it – making children our first priority and sticking it out “in the trenches” requires serious spiritual arrival if we are going to say with confidence, “I am content.” Every mother experiences feelings of discouragement or discontentment at some point in her mothering career. Cole concurs,
With humor, yet a twinge of honesty, she recalls, “We have a favorite sign displayed in the kitchen of our family cabin that reads, ‘For this I spent four years in college?'” (3). Contentment is there for the Finding Battling feelings of being overwhelmed, overworked, unappreciated or underutilized is a dynamic process. Cole says,
The purpose of Cole’s book is to help mothers like me (and you) experience, as she puts it, “a change of heart.” It’s not about vindication, or even validation. It’s about something deeper – something intrinsic. Extrinsic value tends to fade or disappoint. If we can experience something from within that yields contentment – now that is powerful. Cole explains,
Cole backs up this promise by using Alma’s words as the preface for her message. “For I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me” (Alma 29:3). I have nothing but praise for Contentment. Cole’s thoughts are strong-minded and selfless. She speaks from a place every mother wants to be. I’ve been sharing her book with friends, family, and reading excerpts to my husband. Cole’s book is rich with discovery – one of those reads that has made a pivotal difference in my life, my perspective, and my heart. What I gleaned from it is – for lack of a better word – priceless. Defining Contentment Before talking about contentment, Cole says, we need to know what we are looking for. Contentment, Cole believes, is the hallmark of one who has “entrusted herself to God’s care” (5). She further defines it this way.
Cole has also learned what contentment is not. “Contentment is not complacency, mediocrity, smugness, or settling for something less” (5). Quoting President Hinckley, she gently reminds us, “Do the best you can. But I want to emphasize that it be the very best” (6). With the help of Cole’s insights, I have come to better understand the meaning of contentment. I am convinced it is the very thing most struggling mothers are searching for. Cole has been collecting thoughts and quotes about contentment for years. Over time, her study of this subject has significantly changed how she views the privilege and calling of a mother.
The book brims with glorious words from LDS and non-LDS authors, prophets, Cole’s personal friends and family. I underlined and underlined. So much to take in. Gaining Perspective Cole begins her chapter on perspective with these words from Daniel Webster.
I loved this quote. It is so true and encouraging. It makes all the messes, meals, and meltdowns worth it. For me, the doing of seemingly mundane things that are “undone” as a new day begins, lends to discontentment. Yet, Cole’s ideas have helped me look at these tasks differently. She writes,
Later in another chapter, Cole introduces the phrase “taking care of the invisible” (55). She quotes Peggy O’Mara, editor of Mothering magazine, as saying,
Cole thinks of the old proverb, “Work is love made visible” as she scrubs breakfast dishes or watches her son mow the lawn. If we think of “family work” as the “necessary, hands-on labor of sustaining life” we can do the day’s work with a more cheerful heart. I am realizing that to nurture and feed my daughters physically is as much an honor as to nurture and feed them spiritually (27). Every service I perform for them makes my love for them visible – even if only the Lord has eyes to see. Doing it All Cole is well aware that as women we have dreams,”both large and small, for our lives” (24). She goes on,
Don’t you love the limitless optimism in Cole’s words? We may have to put some of our dreams on the shelf during certain periods of our lives, but we need not abandon them. God places special interests, talents and desires within us for His purposes, as well as our development. Learning to be Content Cole offers a number of illuminating ideas and principles that can help us find contentment. She notes first that the key to happiness is obedience and contentment is the natural consequence of obedience (52). She encourages women to have rich private lives, pursue personal interests, develop talents, and include their children in the process.
She urges women to carve out time for solitude and reflection, promising that this self-attention will only help us be better, feel more fulfilled, and have more quality love to give.
She discusses gratitude as a means for overcoming discontentment, explaining that gratitude and discontentment cannot exist in the same person at the same time.
This was a startling and humbling idea for me to process but it has changed how I approach each day. I am making a more concerted effort to recognize the wondrous joys and delights of being a mother. Cole also addresses the challenge of comprehending deprivation. Why are certain blessings withheld from us at certain times and how we can find contentment when they are? Cole quotes Patricia Holland in answer to this difficult question.
Christ Can Change our Natures In conclusion, Cole teaches mothers that “Perhaps the most significant way to becoming fully content…is to comprehend the nature of our Savior’s Atonement and its efficacy in our lives” (73). Referring to C.S. Lewis’ words in Mere Christianity, Cole reminds us that “everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God” (77).
An Inestimable Contribution Contentment was a timely read for me. It has helped me embrace the work I am doing during these intense years of motherhood with more patience, gratitude and love. It has made me want to enjoy it all, make God a more involved partner, and not give in to the self-concerned discontent that seems to surface on discouraging days. I may need a refresher course after our new twins are born, but thanks to Cole, I understand contentment is a process. Cole has made a contribution of inestimable worth by identifying the quality most mothers are looking for but do not realize is there for the taking. Contentment should be shared with all mothers. It will change perspectives as well as hearts. After reading the last page and quietly closing the book, I felt with more conviction than ever before, “It is a privilege and a blessing to be a mother…a calling we must not esteem lightly” (42). Maria Covey Cole, daughter of Stephen Covey, is a homemaker and mother of five children. She holds a bachelor’s degree in English from Brigham Young University and a master’s degree in educational studies from the University of Utah. Contentment is her first book. No Comments | Post or read comments FEATURES |
May 8, 2026
May 8, 2026
