Introduction
When you notice that many people on the obituary page of the local newspaper are younger than you are (as I often do now), you start thinking seriously about your mortality. You ask yourself, “Have I done what I was sent here to do? Have I been a good mother? Grandmother? Spouse? Friend? Have I developed and shared my talents? And perhaps most importantly, have I served others?” I would like to know the answers to these questions while I am still living and breathing and while there is still time left in which to improve.
Recently a Relief Society teacher quoted the results of a survey where those whose death was imminent were asked what their three biggest regrets were. The top three were: 1) I wish I had spent more time with the people I love, 2) I wish I had lived up to my potential, and 3) I wish I had let myself be happier. The teacher also quoted the author as saying: “While nobody can go back and start a new beginning, anyone can start today and make a new ending.” (author unknown)
Our Bishop Rex Cannon gave us a boost in this area when he spoke to our ward a little over a year ago about “raising our personal bar” in the area of service, scripture reading and temple attendance. In the area of service he asked each of us to “thoughtfully and prayerfully think of someone in the ward who is in need and do one thing for them that requires a definite sacrifice on your part.” Little did I know then what a significant, life-changing experience I would have from responding to that simple challenge. I will relate that story at the conclusion of this article.
My Past History
For the almost 40 years that I have been in the business of songwriting and producing CD’s and songbooks for LDS members we had to be aware of the bottom line: we had to make a profit on each project in order to finance the next. This worked well for us through the years and we had some wonderful experiences along the way, along with considerable recognition, honors and awards. I tried to divorce myself from the commercial aspect of writing music because the act of composing the songs was the part that brought me such joy. I also kept in mind President Hinckley’s wise statement that, “Adulation is poison to the soul,” and prayed I would never dwell on the honors of men. I penned these few lines and posted them on my piano, lest I forget:
Honors of the world may flatter and reward
Then fly away like dry leaves in the wind.
Hollow words of praise may hurt us if they stay
Within the mind to be replayed again.
Honors of the world may fill the soul with pride
And then become as poison to the soul.
But quiet acts of love known only to the Lord
Are treasured in the heart and make us whole.
Higher Goals
As I have grown older I have longed more and more to participate in those “quiet acts of love known only to the Lord” which I have learned will bring the most genuine rewards of all. I wrote a song a few years ago that, more than any other I have written, could be called my personal “mission statement.” It was my guide during our full time mission to Chile, and will continue to guide me to the end of my life.
[Click here to listen to “Like Jesus:]
Like Jesus
Words & Music by Janice Kapp Perry
Soloist, Hilary Weeks
I want to be like Jesus, I want to see as He sees
I want to look into the hearts of others
And see the best that they can be
I want to be like Jesus, I want to feel what He feels
I want to be a person of compassion
And always speak the word that heals
Chorus
And so I’ll try in every situation
To let His light come shining through
When I’m unsure, I’ll ask myself the question:
“What would Jesus do?”
I want to be like Jesus, I want to love as He loves
And when I see someone in need of kindness
I want to care the way He does
I want to be like Jesus, I want to give as He gives
I want to try to live my life for others
And to forgive as He forgives
Repeat Chorus
He is divine, my Savior, my Redeemer
And I still walk imperfectly
But I can live so all the world will notice
A little bit of Jesus in me
Our bishop’s challenge sparked a period of honest introspection and soul searching for me, and I tried to recall the life experiences during the last decade that had brought me the most genuine joy. I made a list of twelve experiences and at this goal-setting time of year I would like to share a few of my favorites here. I quickly realized they had nothing to do with money, recognition or awards!
Visiting Rest Homes with Mother
My parents played piano and drums in a dance band that was known as “The Kapp Orchestra” and everyone loved their toe-tapping music. After Dad’s death I played drums with Mother at the Senior Center in Orem, Utah for several years. As I played drums I also sang some of the old-time songs as they danced, and I commented to Mother one night how much fun it was to do this with her. She said, “Well, if you really want to have fun you should come play with me at the rest homes. I was aware that she had been going to play for them free for some time, and I agreed to go along with her the next time.
As the old folks gathered to hear her they seemed very subdued, most arriving in wheelchairs with their heads down, seemingly uninterested in what was about to happen. But when Mother cut loose with her lively version of “Five Foot Two,” “Twelfth Street Rag,” and “Alexander’s Ragtime Band,” the audience quickly came to life, sitting up straighter, clapping their hands, and even trying to dance or sing along! I could hardly believe the transformation! I could see that Mother was so happy to entertain them and I got drawn right in playing my drums with extra enthusiasm. She taught me a great lesson that day about using our talents to serve others. I was hooked and kept going to the rest homes with her. Just for fun I’ll include a sampling of this old time music recorded back in the 70s.
[Click to listen to “The Dark Town Strutter’s Ball” / “Alexander’s Ragtime Band”]
Dark Town Strutter’s Ball / Alexander’s Ragtime Band
Ruth Saunders Kapp, piano
Janice Kapp Perry, drums
Lee Nielsen, guitar
Royal Nielson, trumpet
Piano Lessons for Hispanic Children
After our mission to Chile, Doug and I were called on a church-service mission to a Spanish-speaking ward in south Provo. We were very involved in the music there, but as our mission was ending I wondered who would play for the meetings when we left.
I decided to choose four sharp little Primary children that I had been observing and offered to give them free piano lessons in my home if they would come every week and practice consistently. I began teaching them from the Church’s Basic Course and at the end of the first year the four of them (Andrea, Yuridia, Erick and Kristofer) accompanied their yearly Primary sacrament meeting program using simplified versions of the songs that I had made. It was a triumphant moment for those four children!
They have been coming to lessons faithfully now for about five years and their progress has been amazing! They live in four different wards now and have music callings and opportunities to play constantly. No more simplified songs for them-they play right out of the hymn book and children’s songbook. They have grown from Primary children to Young Men and Young Women and are very confident in their abilities. I know they will serve in church music callings for the rest of their lives. There are no words to describe my joy in their accomplishments. They are like my grandchildren and I love the time I spend with them.
Concert at the Utah State Mental Hospital (Provo)
One day out of the blue, a senior missionary called from the State Hospital here in Provo to tell me that there were two patients there who were accomplished on the flute and violin and that they often played my music together. She wondered if I would be willing to come and hear them sometime, as a surprise. A few nights later I drove to the hospital to hear them, not knowing what to expect. One of the women (who played flute) had suffered severe trauma and was hardly able to speak. The other, I learned, was a member of a well-known orchestra in Utah (on leave). They began to play some of my songs, unaccompanied, and I was immediately drawn in by their beautiful talents. After some time I asked if they would like me to accompany them, and we played together for almost an hour. It was a glorious experience for all of us and they asked if I would come back and bring more music-they only had one of my music books.
I soon returned, and as we were playing other songs it occurred to me that the two of them could put on quite a concert together, if it were allowed. I asked the missionary to try to get permission, and we kept practicing week by week “as if” we would get permission. It was finally granted and we prepared to give a concert in the chapel there for minimum security patients and the women’s family members. My son, John, designed a beautiful program to be passed out to the audience.
To our surprise about three hundred people came to the concert! The two women were dressed beautifully and played wonderfully well. I accompanied, though my vision was sometimes blurred by my tears. Through our practice times together we three had become close friends, the flute player relaxed and communicated more naturally and we experienced a never-to-be-forgotten evening together. I pray that the memories of that experience helped them in their later lives.
I know I was blessed by knowing and performing with them.
Blessed by Marie
When our bishop challenged us to “thoughtfully and prayerfully think of someone in our ward who was in need and do one thing for them that was a definite sacrifice on our part,” it was an easy choice for me. My friend Marie- nearly 90 – had been a long-time friend who was now nearly blind from the effects of macular degeneration. It was frustrating for her but she bore her affliction with grace, often reminding the Relief Society sisters to state their name when they would say hello to her because she couldn’t see them anymore. She attended all of her meetings faithfully, but at the time of the bishop’s challenge her health began to fail to the point that she could not come out to church anymore.
When I asked if I might come and read to her one day, she responded with an enthusiastic “Yes!”
On that first visit I asked what she would most like me to read to her and she said she would like Light in the Wilderness by Catherine Thomas-a book I dearly love and have read three times.
Marie’s granddaughter had highly recommended the book to her.
During each visit we would talk for a while at first and then read a chapter (or half chapter) during the remaining time and discuss it for a few minutes. One week of the month when the Relief Society lesson would be from the new book for women, Daughters in His Kingdom, we would read the appropriate chapter from that book instead. She often shared uplifting family stories and always showed interest in what I was doing too. As Marie’s health declined I knew in my heart I would keep coming each week for as long as she lived.
Marie always sat in her chair bare-footed and I noticed that her skin was very red and dry. I told her one day that I had had some experience in therapeutic foot massage and asked if she would allow me to massage her feet and lower legs with lotion. She was willing, and we had some of our best conversations during these times-at least until she fell asleep. As the weeks passed I started bringing homemade soup for her and her husband Mel and enjoyed having lunch with them. Marie grew weaker each time I visited her.
On my final visit, Marie was sitting in a wheelchair with her head down and I knew I wouldn’t be able to read to her. I asked her gently if I could rub her feet, but she said, “No, not today, I wasn’t able to shower and my feet might not be clean.” I told her I didn’t mind that, but would it be all right with her if I brought some warm water and a cloth and washed her feet before I began to rub them. She nodded, so I went to the kitchen for the water and cloth. As I knelt on the floor in front of her and began washing her feet, I looked up at my beautiful friend and thought for a moment that I felt something akin to the love Jesus must have felt as he washed the feet of His beloved disciples. She looked back at me through unseeing eyes and smiled ever so slightly as I finished my work of love for the final time. I wept as I left her home that day, so grateful for all I had learned during the time I had spent with her. She passed away a few days later.
A Suggestion
When you are setting your goals for the coming year, I recommend our bishop’s challenge to everyone. When I began these experiences that I have related I could not immediately see what the benefit would be to me. It wasn’t always easy week after week to keep the commitments I made but as the weeks and years have passed I have seen that these things were (and are) a very important part of my spiritual education. I have been the benefactor more than those I have taught or helped.
As is sung in one of my favorite songs from Les Miserables, “To love another person is to see the face of God.”
As you thoughtfully and prayerfully think of someone who is in need and do one thing for them that is a definite sacrifice for you, you will experience a whole new depth of meaning in your life and you will come to crave other such experiences as I now do. Remember, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
When Sister Bonnie Parkin was General Relief Society President she commissioned me to write a new song for women for a satellite broadcast. The theme of her presidency was her wish that every woman in the church could feel the Lord’s spirit and would then have the desire to reach out and help other sisters. I loved this theme which of course can apply to men as well, and would like to end this article with the song that resulted from that assignment.
[Click to listen to When I Feel His Love]
When I Feel His Love
Words & Music by Janice Kapp Perry
Quiet times of revelation tune my heart to see
Tender mercies of the Lord are daily shown to me
As I feel the love of God I seem to understand
I can be an instrument in Heav’nly Father’s hands
Chorus
And when I feel His love, my heart has one desire
To share the joy and warmth His perfect loves inspires
My hands reach out to all in perfect charity
That other souls may feel God’s love through me
Quiet times of inspiration touch me and I feel
God’s pure love is guiding me, His promises are real
As I nurture those I love within my daily sphere
I feel strength beyond my own and know that God is near
Repeat chorus
Heav’nly Fathers blessings bestowed so lovingly
Make my hands as His hands
When the Spirit shines through me
Repeat chorus
That other souls may feel His love through me
LIKE JESUS can be purchased on here on iTunes or is found on the album Best of Janice Kapp Perry Vol 2 or Walk in the Light.
WHEN I FEEL HIS LOVE can be purchased here on iTunes or is found on the album When I Feel His Love.
Janice Kapp Perry: Composer, author, lecturer
