Child psychology? Parenting classes? Volumes of information on child rearing? All of this was unknown to Doris Thompson Harris as she raised her family in Canada in the 1930s and 40s. Nevertheless, she was an “expert” mother. With good sense and a mother’s intuition, she came up with her own way of teaching and training her children that served her family very well. Even in today’s world of abounding information, it could hold its own amongst the experts.
Through her daughter, Carolyn Cragun’s, own words, we’re given a peek into the charm, wisdom and creativity of this remarkable woman as she raised her two children 80 years ago.
“Mother was first and foremost a teacher. . . Her philosophy of child rearing was daily at bedtime to go over the hurts and mistakes of the day, to make amends and promise in the morning there would be a new day with a new startand the opportunity to be a better person.
“As she worked in the house, with us by her side, she took the opportunity for teaching moments while we learned [how to do our] chores. Meal times were sit down together family times where we talked about our day, and we were asked to share our thoughts on a variety of topics. We were each given a drawer in the kitchen to keep our little treasures.
“Richard (my younger brother) was encouraged to vent his anger on a pillow rather than on mother or a friend when he was mad. We would find a punch’ in our pillow and know he was mad at us. Richard had great curiosity that could get him into trouble. Mother would sometimes say, “It is very quiet; find out what Richard is doing and tell him to stop.’
“We did a lot of play acting, trying out new situations as we pretended at home. Before we went on a train ride, chairs were set up in the living room and we learned the role of conductor, porter and waiter. To set the table a pattern for placement was laid out for me to follow.
“We talked as we did the dishes, vacuumed or made the beds. Richard feels her success as a mother was because she was always there.’ He would call Mom’ when he came home from school, satisfied to hear her voice before he ran off to quaff milk and cookies. I remember our daily sessions as she brushed and braided my hair ready for school.
“She added a new responsibility and a privilege with each birthday. As we got older she would ask us what we thought about a story, a book or an article in a magazine. When I was six and starting school, I had a dresser made of orange crates for which she made a gathered skirt. As a teen I was given my own pink desk for study time.
“She was a story teller. She told us stories as she ironed or sewed. She rehearsed the ones she would use in worship service. She had me help with materials for Sunday School lessons. She would tell the story of a book she was reading while we ate lunch. At the end of the day she made up stories about Bobby and Betty’ who seemed to have the same problems we did but made better choices.
“Greek myths were some of her favorites. Procrustes and the Uncomfortable Bed’ was acted out over many nights as Richard was chased to bed and anything left sticking out would be cut off’ or he was stretched to fit’ his uncomfortable bed.
“When we were quarantined she would sit by our sickbed, reading or telling stories to help soothe us. . . . Long before we read Mary Poppins she gave us doses of medicine camouflaged with a spoonful of sugar.
“We loved to be part of cookie making. We were allowed to add the eggs or chocolate shavings, to chop the nuts and to lick the bowls and scraper. . . We learned how to add her measures: a smidge, a dollop, a pinch or a handful.”
Well, the list goes on. For example, on Sundays the meat was served on plates by her husband, who passed the plates on to her and she would add the vegetables and gravy and then give a plate to each person at the table. White linen cloths were used with linen serviettes. Each family member had his or her own silver napkin ring so the linen was used for a week. She did not allow milk bottles or catsup bottles on the table.
Carolyn says her mother sent her to BYU with recipes loaded with simple instructions like, “Cook until it plops one plop.”
What a mother! I’m confident modern child psychologists would give her high marks. Certainly she is rated “tops” by her children who benefitted greatly from her wisdom, good sense, and mother’s intuition.
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Daryl Hoole, mother of eight, has been a best-selling author and popular lecturer on home management and family living. Nor retired, she enjoys free lance writing She is answering questions from readers who contact her at [email protected]“>[email protected]. Her “At Home’ column appears on the second Monday of each month on Meridian. This information is also available on her personal website at www.theartofhomemaking.com.
