LET THIS DESIRE WORK IN YOU (Alma 32:27)-Part 1
Step Six: Became humble enough to yield our hearts and our lives to Christ for His sanctification and purification, relying wholly upon His merits, acknowledging even our own best efforts as unprofitable. (Helaman 3:35; 2 Nephi 31:19; Mosiah 2:20-21)
Principle Six: Only a mighty change in my heart, a complete change of disposition, of desire, will ensure any genuine change in my behavior.
So much emphasis in our modern culture over the last century has been placed on changing or eliminating behavior by the use of external controls. Rewards, punishments, conditioning, habits, environmental factors-all have been promoted as determining factors in the way a person behaves. Meanwhile, factors such as beliefs and values, desires and will are dismissed and ignored. Under the influence of this philosophy, even many well-intentioned church members have overlooked or doubted the continual testimony of the prophets, both ancient and modern, that a person’s behaviors (observable actions) arise from what he (or she) thinks (Matthew 22:42), believes (Mark 9:23), feels (1 Nephi 17:45), intends (Mosiah 4:24-25), and most especially, desires (Alma 19:33; Alma 32:27).
I know this was certainly true of myself. Though I read the scriptures, listened to the modern prophets, and knew well the old adage, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still,” I believed in and applied the methods of behaviorism, rather than the truths of Christ’s gospel. Deeply entrenched in the “creeds” of my own parents about how to relate to and influence others (by using shame, blame, coercion, manipulation and outright force if necessary), I repeated their “style.” It didn’t matter what the child thought, felt, believed, or desired-just as long as he or she behaved. I acted as if I was entirely ignorant of the scriptural statement that if a gift (even the gift of obedience) is given grudgingly, it does little or no good for either the giver or the receiver (Moroni 7:8).
I concentrated on doing right and making my children do right, using my parents’ methods and resisting the counsel of the Lord that persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, love unfeigned, kindness, and pure knowledge were recommended seven to one over “reproving with sharpness” (D&C 121:41-43). In our home, the ratio was reversed. Sharpness ruled, and there was no thought to consult the Holy Ghost before administering it. Even though we kept up appearances before others and our church attendance “statistics” were high, there was no internal change. Force in all its subtle and outright abusive forms was making a mockery of the truth. We were a troubled, unhappy, “house of strangers,” recreating yet another generation of lonely, confused and needy people-church attendance or not-who were sitting ducks for the escape of addiction.
Agency: THE Highest TRUTH-THE HARDEST TRUTH
Which gospel principle did I ignore, as I exerted my dominion and enforced my stewardship through unrighteous, un-Christlike means? Agency, of course.
I have to admit, I do not know how Heavenly Father deals with the sorrow generated by this principle. I can only guess that agency must be a principle central to His own eternal progression-one of the principles upon which He attained His exaltation.
There are several places in the scriptures that testify to us that in this business of choice, it is not His will, but our own that is ultimately the “bottom line.” We choose what we will. It is our will that is final. We get what we truly desire (Mosiah 26:26, Alma 29:4; Helaman 3:27; D&C 88:32).
Agency is the supreme governing law of all eternal progression. It can never be abdicated or controlled with any degree of righteousness. Even God, who cannot look upon unrighteousness with the least degree of allowance (Alma 45:16), cannot cross another’s agency in the least degree. He cannot control His children by compulsion or force, not even to achieve His own greatest desire for each of us-to see us become both immortal and exalted (Moses 1:39).
Wherefore the voice of the Lord is unto the ends of the earth, that all that will hear may hear. (D&C 1:11; emphasis added)
Yea, we see that whosoever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a strait and narrow course across that everlasting gulf of misery which is prepared to engulf the wicked…(Helaman 3:29; emphasis added)
And then shall they know that I am the Lord their God, that I am their Redeemer; but they would not be redeemed. (Mosiah 26:26)
And they who remain shall also be quickened; nevertheless, they shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received. (D&C 88:32; emphasis added)
To realize that our own will, our own agency, is actually the supreme last word in what we receive (both from day-to-day and in eternity) can be freeing, but it can also be condemning. Why? Because it means that, just as the prophets have taught, our life is less about what happens to us and more about the way we choose to respond to what happens.
Behold, here is the agency of man, and here is the condemnation of man; because that which was from the beginning is plainly manifest unto them, and they receive not the light. (D&C 93:31)
Someday, for all of us, without exception, our excuses will run out. “I behaved this way because…” will have to be seen as the truth: “I chose to behave this way because…” And as incredulous as it may sound, it implies that in nothing, absolutely nothing, can we consider ourselves victims.
You may ask in shock, In nothing? How can you say that, when children are abused? And what about the abuse the mentally and physically handicapped, the aged and infirm suffer at the hands of their caretakers? How could you consider them anything but victims? How could you believe them to be consenting participants?
The answer, especially seen in the light of the Restored Gospel, stands like a solid granite monolith rising from the fog of mortality, piercing the veil between each stage of eternal progression-in absolutely nothing are we forced, coerced or manipulated.
This answer is found in careful, prayerful and sincere study of the scriptures and modern prophets. It comes as a personal witness from the Lord to our hearts.
As we allow the beautiful story of the Restored Gospel to become a living history of our own infinite reality, we realize that from an eternal perspective, nothing happens by mistake (Genesis 45:5-8), or without the participant’s voluntary cooperation (Abraham 3:27; Isaiah 6:8). While it is true that our voluntary consent was given in a veiled and forgotten premortal council, the Holy Ghost can part that veil and confirm this use of our agency to us.
What does this mean to me, as someone who was abused in childhood? It means that I counseled with God and participated in determining my family assignment and birth position, knowing there would be a variety of possible scenarios my life could take, depending upon the choices of those who would serve in this life as my parents, siblings, extended family and so on. It was very likely explained to me that if my parents chose to seek God and to live guided by His light, my childhood experiences could be a great blessing to me. If my parents chose differently, my life experiences could be a great challenge. I understood this and I accepted the risk.
Because God’s plan is (and must always be) based on agency, there are always risks, variables, the possibility that others will make wrong choices, even if we don’t. From a premortal vantage point, I knew, as we all did, that allowing individual agency to choose its own course always involves this risk-our loved ones, our caretakers, will be allowed to make wrong choices. Satan knew that, too. He wanted a plan without risk-and he wanted all the glory (Moses 4:1).
The difference between one plan and the other can be illustrated by picturing two sheepherders. One has all his sheep bound about the neck, trudging along, tied together like a dog team. The other acts as a shepherd-gently, patiently, long-sufferingly guiding his flock along, making allowance for their freedom, taking time to go back and search out the lost ones, redeeming and repairing the inevitable injuries.
SERENITY TO ACCEPT WHAT I CANNOT CHANGE
What does all this have to do with the sixth principle? Everything! Before God can apply His atoning power-His power to make us one with God, with the fellowship of God and Christ-we must want Him to. We must be willing to be so changed. Our will is the determining factor in any change we make, for ill or good.
I ought not to harrow up in my desires, the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction. (Alma 29:4; emphasis added)
Let me say it again: our will is the determining factor. It is the bottom line. It is the final word. Often we hear the saying “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” That serenity will come to each of us only when we realize that “the things we cannot change” are things we already agreed to in the premortal life, and thus, even in those things we are not being subjected or victimized.
With this realization comes the freedom to hold up our heads with dignity, to step free of the anger, the blame, the shame. We are not victims. We never were. We are conquering heroes and heroines, given nothing we are not equal to in Christ. Do you realize what that says about some people’s spiritual powers-their ability to connect with and draw on the powers of heaven?
Just ask them (or yourself), “How deep did you descend into a world of darkness and sin as an innocent child? How much were you abused? How much have you, in reaction, abused yourself?” Then with that sad and sometimes terrifying vision so well described in D&C 123:13, 7 of “the hidden things of darkness… urged on and upheld by the influence of that spirit which hath so strongly riveted the creeds of the fathers, who have inherited lies, upon the hearts of the children” still fresh in your mind, declare the good news of the gospel of Christ to them or to yourself. Pray about this truth, seek its confirmation: know that you have the strength spiritually, in direct and more than equal proportion, to rise above that abuse-if you desire it. Remember, He will not and cannot (D&C 121:41) force this good news upon you.
The second half of this chapter will be posted next week.
He Did Deliver Me from Bondage can be found at most LDS bookstores or purchased online at www.rosehavenpublishing.com
