While visiting family in Texas, my husband and I drove with them from San Antonio to South Padre Island, on the Gulf Coast, so our three young grandsons could discover the ocean. We stopped at a fast-food restaurant halfway through the journey to buy lunch, and seated ourselves while our son went to order the meal. Jake returned several minutes later with heaping trays of food and set chicken strips, fries, and drinks on the table in front of his boys.
After examining the food, our five-year-old grandson Luke suddenly wailed, “You didn’t give me what I wanted!” He had hoped for onion rings but received French fries instead. His disappointment was so acute that he could not be consoled until I offered to share my onion rings with him.
I have considered Luke’s words many times since that day and wondered how often I have expressed basically the same sentiment to Heavenly Father when life situations turned out differently than I thought they should. “You didn’t give me what I wanted!”
This phrase reminds me of a story shared by Elder Brook P. Hales: “While in college, our oldest son was hired into a very desirable part-time student job that had the potential to lead to a wonderful, permanent job after graduation. He worked hard at this student job for four years, became highly qualified, and was well respected by his coworkers and supervisors. At the end of his senior year, almost as if orchestrated by heaven (at least to our son’s way of thinking), the permanent position did open up, and he was the leading candidate, with every indication and expectation that, indeed, he would get the job.
“Well, he was not hired. None of us could understand it. He had prepared well, had interviewed well, was the most qualified candidate, and had prayed with great hope and expectation! He was devastated and crushed, and the entire episode left all of us scratching our heads. Why had God abandoned him in his righteous desire?
“It wasn’t until several years later that the answer became very clear. Had he received the dream job after graduation, he would have missed a critical, life-changing opportunity that has now proved to be for his eternal benefit and blessing. God knew the end from the beginning (as He always does), and in this case, the answer to many righteous prayers was no, in favor of a far superior outcome.” (1)
According to Elder Ulisses Soares, “One of the most glorious moments of mortality occurs when we discover the joy that comes when doing always those things that ‘work for and please the Lord, ‘ and ‘what works for us’ become one and the same! To decisively and unquestioningly make the Lord’s will our own requires majestic and heroic discipleship! At that sublime moment, we become consecrated to the Lord, and we totally yield our wills to Him. Such spiritual submissiveness… is beautiful, powerful, and transformational.” (2)
Sometimes, the reasons God doesn’t give us what we think is best are eventually made clear to us. But not always. When it feels that desired blessings have been withheld, it may take time– sometimes years– to truly align our will with the will of Heavenly Father, and even then, the full reasons for our challenge may not be revealed in this lifetime. My mother, songwriter Janice Kapp Perry, has experienced this firsthand. Here is the story of a forty-six-year struggle in her own words:
“For fifteen years I typed in my home for students and professors at Indiana University, Utah State University, and Brigham Young University to supplement our income. In 1979, I naively recorded in my journal: “I can’t seem to control the index finger on my left hand while typing. I need to take a day off next week and have my doctor take care of it.”
“Thus began… decades of frustration, medical opinions and treatments, surgery, and therapies aimed at restoring control of my left hand. My wrist pulled under, as did my fingers, except my thumb and pinky. It was impossible to type and frustrating to pursue my new interest in writing music. I prayed fervently, had priesthood blessings, cried often, bargained with the Lord, and visited forty different doctors over the next five years but found no diagnosis or cure. It seemed the problem just appeared from nowhere to test and try me, and I did not pass with flying colors those first few years.”
This trial began just as Mom was beginning to find success writing sacred and inspirational music. In her eyes, the timing could not have been worse. She wondered why the Lord wouldn’t heal her when she was trying to contribute to the spiritual music of the church and help build testimonies. Losing control of her hand made it difficult to compose. She continues her story:
“At the end of the fifth year I went to a blind osteopath, Dr. Illif Jeffrey, to try physical therapy on my arm and hand. As he worked on me twice a week, I often complained about my problem and he listened patiently. Then one day, in a truly defining moment, I realized the irony of my complaining to a blind man. I felt humbled and ready to be taught for the first time. Dr. Jeffrey, sensing the change in me, began to teach me about accepting this handicap more gracefully.
“He explained that such things make us more dependent on the Lord, more humble in our prayers, and more trusting in the Lord’s timing. He reminded me that there is a healing time for all the hurts of this mortal life, whether it be in this life or the next. Finally, he promised me that if I would endure this test with a humble heart, there would come a time when I wouldn’t trade having the use of my hand for all the important lessons I had learned from being without it.” (3)
At nearly 87 years of age, Mom is still waiting for a full understanding of the “why” behind this specific struggle. Nevertheless, she has pressed forward in faith for four and a half decades, using her talents to build God’s kingdom on earth, in spite of physical limitations. Through my mother, I have witnessed the fulfillment of Elder Soares’ words: “Such spiritual submissiveness… is beautiful, powerful, and trans-formational.”
A recent experience has had me pondering the word “alignment.” It began in the dressing room of the Palmyra New York Temple. After attending an endowment session with my husband, I stood in a dressing stall, changing from my temple clothing to street clothes. Leaning forward slightly at the waist, I raised my left foot just enough to slip into my sandal when the muscles of my lower back grabbed so tightly that it took my breath away. I sagged onto the minuscule seat in the stall– unable to move for nearly a full minute.
I am no stranger to back spasms– but this episode was particularly fierce. Once I was able to slowly straighten, I hobbled stiffly out of the dressing room to wait for Brad. Having my back out of alignment was extremely painful. Months of chiropractic adjustments, icing, E-stim, anti-inflammatory meds, acupuncture, and physical therapy have been required to lessen my pain and bring my bones back into alignment.
One day, while waiting in the chiropractor’s office, I noticed a sign on the wall which described a chiropractic adjustment: “It’s like hitting the reset button on your body, giving you a fresh start and a newfound appreciation for the wonders of alignment.”
What a great phrase! The wonders of alignment. I believe it applies spiritually as much as it does physically. It is never comfortable to be out of alignment with God’s will. Humbly submitting to His superior wisdom brings spiritual and emotional relief.
No discussion about aligning our will with God’s would be complete without referencing the ultimate act of submission: The Atonement of Jesus Christ. As the Savior staggered under the weight of the suffering and sins of His people, He cried, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” (Luke 22:42)
In the words of Abinadi, “Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father.” (Mosiah 15:7)
The Savior’s whole life had been a dress rehearsal for this critical moment. He had practiced obedience and submission from the foundations of the world. “And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.” (John 8:29)
President Ezra Taft Benson declared: The entire ministry of the Master was characterized by His voluntary subordination to His Heavenly Father’s will. “For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me” (John 6:38). (4)
We’re reminded of the Savior’s total submission to the Father as we sing this Sacrament hymn:
When in the wondrous realms above
Our Savior had been called upon
To save our world of sin by love,
He said, “Thy will, O Lord, be done.”
No crown of thorns, no cruel cross
Could make our great Redeemer shun.
He counted his own will but naught,
And said, “Thy will, O Lord, be done.”
We take the bread and cup this day
In mem’ry of the sinless One,
And pray for strength, that we may say,
As he, “Thy will, O Lord, be done.” (5)
The greater our understanding of the true nature of God, the easier it is to align ourselves with His will because we know that He does nothing save it be for the ultimate good of His children. Nephi, in spite of severe trials, discouragement, and frustration with personal weakness, was able to say: “I know in whom I have trusted.” (2 Nephi 4:19)
In one of the columns of the St. George Utah Temple, a poem was discovered during renovation. This poem was placed there in 1876 by Joseph L. Townsend, a young church member who assisted with the construction of the temple. This good man, who wrote the hymn texts of Choose the Right and Hope of Israel– among others– also wrote of his desire to be aligned with God:
Whatever be my failings and desires
To Thee O Lord my heart be firm and true
Thy law my law. Whatever God requires.
This be my hope His loving will to do.
J L Townsend
JULY 14 1876
St Geo Temple (6)
“Thy law my law.” A humble, four-word declaration. One that will transform us.
Elder Soares expresses this same hope: “I pray that each of us, in our time and turn, will be able to declare, with covenant confidence, to our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ that ‘what works for Thee works for me.’” (7)
Notes:
- Elder Brook P. Hales, Answers to Prayer, April 2019 general conference.
- Elder Ulisses Soares, Aligning Our Will with His, October 2024 general conference.
- Janice Kapp Perry, Songs from My Heart, pgs. 73-34, Sounds of Zion, Inc. Emphasis added.
- Ezra Taft Benson, “Five Marks of the Divinity of Jesus Christ”, Ensign, December 2001, 11.
- Frank I. Kooyman, Thy Will, O Lord, Be Done, Hymns, #88, verses 1,3 & 4, emphasis added.
- https://philanthropies.churchofjesuschrist.org/church-general-fund/church-general-fund-news-and-features/a-rededication-to-remember/
- Elder Ulisses Soares, Aligning Our Will with His, October 2024 general conference.
