The following was contributed by Cristina Cevallos.

Divorces are on the decline. According to figures in the United States, while there were a total of 944,000 divorces and annulments in the year 2000, this number decreased to 673,989 in 2022. This seems like good news until we consider other related data: marriages are also on the decline. In fact, according to Forbes Advisor, fewer Americans are married today than at any point in at least 50 years. Additionally, the families that do form are having fewer children and women are not even having the number of children they desire.

The Rise of “Marriage Deserts”

The concept of “marriage deserts” is explained by Professor Brad Wilcox, Director of he National Marriage Project:

“America has witnessed the rise of what could be called “marriage deserts”: entire neighborhoods where there are persistently low rates of marriage,” communities where “men and women have little experience with marriage.” 

The “marriage desert” could be attributed to many things:

– Money: Paying off debts, wedding expenses, buying a house, giving birth, educating children, and other costs of maintaining a family weigh more on a balance compared to spending comfortably on just one person.

– Media: The media, social networks, movies, and TV shows often portray a dramatic image of marriage that often discourages it.

– Women’s Independence: Marriage is no longer “necessary” for women; many are financially self-sufficient, pursue professional careers, and have the “power” to decide the timing of childbearing (often delaying until women have passed prime child-bearing years).

– Loss of Government Benefits: 11% of unmarried lower-income adults cited the potential loss of Medicaid, the Earned Income Tax Credit, and food stamps as a reason they haven’t tied the knot.

– Cultural Shift: The traditional family is no longer valued as it once was. Parenthood is viewed with much greater apprehension, cohabitation is seen as a more attractive alternative, and the ways of meeting and the requirements sought in partners are different.

Divorce and marriage in society

Both divorce and marriage desert have negative consequences for society. Low birth rates, demographic winter, economic stagnation, and loneliness among the elderly are just some of these. As explained in a previous article, they affect children –future citizens and decision-makers – the most. According to Pew Research, in 1968, only 13% of U.S. children lived with an unmarried parent, but by 2023, almost one-third did.

In contrast, studies show that marriage “benefits” not only children, but the couple. Marriage provides a sense of meaning, purpose, direction, and stability. The fidelity promised in marriage brings trust and security in sexual, financial, and social aspects. Both married parents and their children are shown to be happier, less depressed, anxious and are less likely to have legal problems or engage in drugs.

Marriage and divorce are both socially “contagious” institutions. Forbes’ study mentions that couples with divorced friends have a 75% increase in the risk of their marriage ending. Conversely, the likelihood of more couples marrying increases in a society with lots of married people. In both cases, the social network of couples impacts marital stability. Social environment counts. Consider for example that children of divorced parents or who grew up in neighborhoods where single-parent families are common, perceived marriage more like a fiction.

A global understanding

If society is that important, analyzing these issues should take into account factors affecting statistics in each country, such as ethnic, religious, cultural, historical, and legal differences. Here are some examples:

– Hinduism is associated with the lowest divorce rates, in parallel, Sri Lanka and India experience the fewest divorces.

– Among the top three countries with the highest divorce rates are Kazakhstan and Russia, both communist states.

– Sweden has one of the lowest marriage rates in the world (there are three times as many cohabiting couples in Sweden as there are in the U.S); there are almost no government benefits favoring marriage in this European country.

– Societies that are more religious tend to have more stable family units. Italy and Ireland, where people have more conservative Catholic beliefs, have lower divorce rates than other European nations.

The ones getting married are those with a better chance of staying together

The decrease in divorces can in part be explained by fewer people getting married. However, this data also indicates that those who do marry are doing so successfully. Who is getting married more in recent years? According to the Institute for Family Research, in the United States, these are Asians, college-educated, conservatives, and religious people.

Since lack of commitment is cited as the most common reason for divorce, these groups must share certain characteristics conducive to a successful marriage. Marriage success requires both spouses to be dedicated and serious about making their union last. Additionally, a shared understanding of marriage as a lifelong commitment and a “we-before-me” approach are necessary.

Promoting marriage while continuing to lower the divorce rate

How does a society promote healthy marriage, marriages with the highest chance of succeeding?

  • Make the idea of marriage attractive; this is primarily achieved through the actions and testimony of already-married couples. Few will want to marry if there isn’t an observable reality to aspire toward.
  • Model healthy marriage. Show and share how it is done. Don’t be afraid to speak openly about the challenges and the goodness of marriage.
  • Support other people in their marriages: attend weddings and receptions; let young couples know they are part of something bigger and that the community has a stake in their marriage being successful; pray for your marriage relationship and for others’ marriages.
  • Do simple things like babysit children so others can have a date night; start a small group to study marriage topics, host neighborhood get-togethers that showcase healthy and happy homes and marriage.
  • Monitor your child’s media, school curricula, and textbooks watching for positive messages about marriage and family. When you find messages that undermine marriage and family, be vocal and seek change.
  • Create a culture that facilitates professional success compatible with home life, while being bold in asserting that marriage and motherhood are valid, valuable, even essential, choices.
  • Laws matter. Nevada for example, known for its lax laws of getting and ending marriages, has the highest divorce rate of any U.S. state. Support laws that do not penalize or undermine marriage, laws that encourage pre-marital counseling and laws that require mandatory counseling and waiting periods prior to a divorce (See Parental Divorce Reduction Act).
  • Stop undermining the concept of the traditional family by equating cohabitation and marriage, stop encouraging other family structures – like same-sex marriage and polyamory, and stop ignoring opportunities to provide reasonable benefits to assist young families.

We can each work to make marriage “contagious” and ensure our communities and nations don’t end up “marriage deserts.”

In the end, it’s up to us to develop personal values and character traits that foster enduring relationships, ultimately creating marriages that are both fulfilling and worth emulating.