“Constructive criticism is never helpful.”
Imagine my disappointment when I first read that quote. I have so many timely suggestions, helpful hints, wonderful insights, and valuable corrections to offer. Maybe you feel the same. You and I have so many things to say that can help others so much. And if they would only take our suggestions, they would have such an improved quality of life. All of our criticism is constructive!
But then I was corrected. In his book, The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism, Dr. John L. Lund emphasized that criticism is only productive when the receiver of the criticism has given permission for the criticism. Then the receiver can be in a frame of mind to willingly and humbly consider the criticism and be able to use that as a learning experience for growth and development. Isn’t that why we are in this mortal experience … to learn, to grow, to progress, to do better, and to be better?
How often do we refer to Doctrine and Covenants 121:43 thinking it gives us permission to “reprove betimes with sharpness” and we think we can be as sharp as a two-edged sword when “sharpness” really means “clarity” or “to bring into clear focus?” How often do we omit the part that says “when moved upon by the Holy Ghost” using persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, love unfeigned, kindness, pure knowledge, without hypocrisy, without guile. Then showing afterward “an increase of love.” (vs. 41-43)
President Gordon B. Hinckley encouraged us: “I’m suggesting that we accentuate the positive. I’m asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort.”
President Hinckley continues: “I am not asking that all criticism be silent. Growth comes with correction. Strength comes with repentance. Wise is the man or woman who, committing mistakes pointed out by others, changes his or her course. I am not suggesting that our conversation be all honey… What I am suggesting and asking is that we turn from the negativism that so permeates our society and look for the remarkable good in the land and times in which we live, that we speak of one another’s virtues more than we speak of one another’s faults, that optimism replace pessimism. Let our faith replace our fears.” (BYU Fireside, 6 March 1994).
President Thomas S. Monson told of Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, who spoke this profound truth: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” President Monson continued: “The Savior has admonished, ‘This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.’ I ask: can we love one another, as the Savior has commanded, if we judge each other? And I answer—with Mother Teresa: no, we cannot.” (Charity Never Faileth, Oct. 2010)
General Conference is coming soon. I look forward to receiving counsel and correction from the Lord through his servants. I strive to recognize how I can be better and do better.
May the Lord bless us to focus more on finding the beam that is in our own eye and not worry so much or be so quick to point out any motes we see in those around us.
