I had just finished the last day of my computer science class when a young man entered the room and came to my desk. “Professor Howard, do you remember me?”

I remembered that he had been a former student, but nothing more.

He smiled. “My name is John Lindstrom.”

Suddenly, a load of memories returned with the mention of his name. The last time he had been in my class was years earlier. He had been an exceptional programmer. He had excellent logic skills and intuitive ideas for solving problems. He was a natural at finding errors and correcting them. There were times that he would have a few issues, but the minute I gave him some direction, he ran with it and never had the same problems again.

But even with all his talent in programming, he seemed to doubt himself. He came up to my desk after class many times, expressing concerns about his ability in programming and in school in general. I would share my belief in his skills and give him some encouragement. He seemed good with that for a week or two, but then he would return with the same doubts.

What I remembered most was our conversation on the last day of class. He waited until everyone else was gone before turning in his test. I glanced at it and could tell he had done an excellent job.

“Will you be in my network programming class next semester?” I asked.

John shook his head. “All semester, my roommates have been asking me if I am sure I want to program all my life and whether I have the ability to make it. They said a person can’t know what they really want if they haven’t experienced the things the world has to offer. We are all going to take some time off from school to travel the world and find ourselves.” He paused momentarily and then asked, “What do you think of that?”

“You know, John, going out into the world to find yourself can be fraught with peril. Often, people who try to ‘find themselves’ lose themselves instead. Like water always seeks the downward channel, the world tends to drag down anyone who does not have their focus set. If a person is fixed on something, they tend to move upward, even if it is hard. That is not to say that you will make it to what you are focused on, but that is often because you find something even better.

“In my life, I have found that it’s not about finding myself but about making myself. When I am working toward something, opportunities come, many outside what I am working on. As I have learned and attempted things, many of them new and outside my ability, I have been pleasantly surprised to find talents and skills I never knew I had, all while developing others. That doesn’t mean it has been easy, but one of the things I gained was the tenacity to see things through to the end.

“I’m not telling you not to seek new adventures and ideas. That is what life is about. But do it with the idea of making yourself, not letting the world tell you what you are. Don’t give anyone or anything that power over you, not even your roommates.”

When I finished, John stood there for a moment. I wondered if he thought I was just some old guy with ancient ideas. When he did speak, he seemed thoughtful.

“I appreciate your advice,” he said. “My parents, grandparents, and other adults around me just said it was a stupid idea. At least you gave me something to think about.” And with that, he left.

I thought about that conversation now as he stood in front of me again, and I asked him how his adventure had turned out.

John sighed. “Not so well for my roommates. They started trying drugs, parties, and all sorts of things. But every time I was about to join them, I thought, ‘Is this what I want to make of myself?’ and I refrained often from the activities. It wasn’t long before I left them. I’m glad I did, because some of the things they did got them into trouble, and they ended up serving time. Meanwhile, I finished my degree and started a web development company that is doing well.”

He smiled. “I just stopped to say thanks. It was in making myself that I found myself.”