Marriage is about finding a partner with whom you can be equally yoked.
The dating process is about pairing yourself up with someone that you can start off on equal ground with and work together to build a family.
Our wise YA Bishop would always tell us that if we wanted a #10 gal we needed to be a #10 guy.
The gospel and repentance is great, but i think too many times we ignore common sense when it comes to our decisions in marriage.
We trivialize the seriousness of sexual (or any) sin because we claim to have such wonderful faith in our Savior's ability to cleanse us when we "repent".
The fact of the matter remains, that while we will be punished for our own sins and will bear the responsibility for them, that doesn't mean that others won't suffer because of them.
Case in point: The children suffer because of a divorce.
This guy's wife was selfish before her marriage as was he when looking at porn. That is what sin is after all, the ultimate selfie. It's something that is all about you.
He should have found someone that had taken as much thought about marriage as he did. Yeah, he looked at porn, but he wasn't sleeping with everyone in town (from what i gathered). Big difference. They were both on the same road, but she was a couple of states further down the road than he was.
They have to grow up and get on the same page and now or this marriage is doomed and heaven forbid it happens a few years down the road and a couple of kids later.
KatherinneJuly 2, 2016
I sensed some judgement about her past. Yet you admitted to pornography. Please remember one is no worse than the other. If one allows them to they can cause much damage to our lives and families. Your wife doesnt seem to worry about living up to the images in your mind. My husband and I have agreed to overcome this issue and it has taken conscious effort but we are now solid and have a fantastic marriage.
KateJuly 1, 2016
This is brilliant. I hope he believes you because what you say is 100% true.
BrynnJuly 1, 2016
Stellar response. Feelings of inadequacy or not being "enough" are probably not that uncommon. We are our own worst judges (in all areas) and for me this response
addressed many of those errant thoughts.
Thank you.
AngelaJuly 1, 2016
I have two observations. The first is that your own experience with pornography may be contributing to your fears. Pornography's insidious message undermines the confidence of those who view it and leads to false expectations. Whether you realise it or not, that message may still be affecting how you view your performance in your marital relationship. The second is this: one of my daughters is not a member of the Church and has therefore lived according to the world. She has been married and divorced, and is now engaged again, and is shortly to be married, to a man who suffers with erectile dysfunction. This does not bother her in the slightest. She is concerned to help him, and to find out the reasons for his problem, but it does not affect her love for him and she is confident of having a happy marriage. Please be reassured, your wife is not comparing you to other men. She loves you and you alone. For a woman, sex is only part of a complete relationship and a close, loving relationship is far more satisfying than technique.
Glen M. DanielsenJuly 1, 2016
Geoff, I think the issue is rather that he is now left to wonder if she really has changed. Does she really have a 'new heart'? Issues in bed—and the whole marriage—will hang on the condition of their hearts.
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DavidJuly 6, 2016
Marriage is about finding a partner with whom you can be equally yoked. The dating process is about pairing yourself up with someone that you can start off on equal ground with and work together to build a family. Our wise YA Bishop would always tell us that if we wanted a #10 gal we needed to be a #10 guy. The gospel and repentance is great, but i think too many times we ignore common sense when it comes to our decisions in marriage. We trivialize the seriousness of sexual (or any) sin because we claim to have such wonderful faith in our Savior's ability to cleanse us when we "repent". The fact of the matter remains, that while we will be punished for our own sins and will bear the responsibility for them, that doesn't mean that others won't suffer because of them. Case in point: The children suffer because of a divorce. This guy's wife was selfish before her marriage as was he when looking at porn. That is what sin is after all, the ultimate selfie. It's something that is all about you. He should have found someone that had taken as much thought about marriage as he did. Yeah, he looked at porn, but he wasn't sleeping with everyone in town (from what i gathered). Big difference. They were both on the same road, but she was a couple of states further down the road than he was. They have to grow up and get on the same page and now or this marriage is doomed and heaven forbid it happens a few years down the road and a couple of kids later.
KatherinneJuly 2, 2016
I sensed some judgement about her past. Yet you admitted to pornography. Please remember one is no worse than the other. If one allows them to they can cause much damage to our lives and families. Your wife doesnt seem to worry about living up to the images in your mind. My husband and I have agreed to overcome this issue and it has taken conscious effort but we are now solid and have a fantastic marriage.
KateJuly 1, 2016
This is brilliant. I hope he believes you because what you say is 100% true.
BrynnJuly 1, 2016
Stellar response. Feelings of inadequacy or not being "enough" are probably not that uncommon. We are our own worst judges (in all areas) and for me this response addressed many of those errant thoughts. Thank you.
AngelaJuly 1, 2016
I have two observations. The first is that your own experience with pornography may be contributing to your fears. Pornography's insidious message undermines the confidence of those who view it and leads to false expectations. Whether you realise it or not, that message may still be affecting how you view your performance in your marital relationship. The second is this: one of my daughters is not a member of the Church and has therefore lived according to the world. She has been married and divorced, and is now engaged again, and is shortly to be married, to a man who suffers with erectile dysfunction. This does not bother her in the slightest. She is concerned to help him, and to find out the reasons for his problem, but it does not affect her love for him and she is confident of having a happy marriage. Please be reassured, your wife is not comparing you to other men. She loves you and you alone. For a woman, sex is only part of a complete relationship and a close, loving relationship is far more satisfying than technique.
Glen M. DanielsenJuly 1, 2016
Geoff, I think the issue is rather that he is now left to wonder if she really has changed. Does she really have a 'new heart'? Issues in bed—and the whole marriage—will hang on the condition of their hearts.
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